


Do you love me?

by graceofhisangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Flustered Castiel (Supernatural), Gen, Heartbroken Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Problems, Slow Burn, Teacher Castiel (Supernatural), Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 79,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceofhisangel/pseuds/graceofhisangel
Summary: Dean hasn't been in a relationship since the last one wasn't all that great. He has a list with two things on them, getting his very own home and finding his life long partner, he just doesn't know when he'll see him or her. But as soon as he sees his new roomate, he starts to catch some feelings.Castiel has always been a loner, except for his life long friend Meg. He gets a job opportunity and moves someplace new, he's not interested in anyone, too afraid of being heartbroken again. But the super hot guy hes living with, apart from being so kind, is stealing his heart, but will he let him in...
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic, which I'm excited for (again). I just cant get enough, I'm trying to write longer, chapters as well. ALSO I feel like I need to put some background info, here goes:  
> Dean works with his brother Sam with their surrogate father Bobby, at his junkyard/repair shop.  
> Dean is 29, Sam is 25  
> Sam and Jess are engaged  
> Jess is a nurse  
> Dean was in a half a year long relationship with a guy (named lee), who broke his heart  
> Charlie is 26, so is Jo  
> Cas is 29, Meg is 26  
> Gabriel is 32  
> Meg is going to become a nurse, has many part time jobs  
> Castiel is a tutor, college assistant and now a part time teacher  
> He was also in a relationship which he hasn't recovered from (about 2 years ago, he was an asshole)  
> Hope you dont hate the slow burn I'm going for.

Dean groaned, he reached over to the nightstand, turning off his alarm. He opened his eyes slowly. The bright light of the morning sun, lighting up his room, hurt his eyes. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, he didn't like waking up early, especially without a hot cup of coffee. He pulled the sheet off and slid his feet into his slippers. He walked to the door, grabbed his robe hanging on the hook, and made his way to the kitchen. He placed the filter, poured in the coffee and water. He watched as the coffee poured into his mug. He took it, and poured in four spoons of sugar. He drank his coffee, and walked back to his room. He grabbed a towel, finishing the last bit of coffee in his cup. 

He took a nice warm shower, and when he got out he was in a much better mood. He got dressed, combed his hair and went to get another cup of coffee. He was cooking some bacon when his phone rang. 

"Heya, Sammy" he greeted, he held the phone on his shoulder, while flipping the bacon over. 

"Morning Dean, what time do you think you'll get here? It's gotten kinda busy already." He took the bacon off the pan and placed it on a plate with eggs. 

"I thought you said you didn't need me in the mornings?" he bit a piece of bacon. 

"Yeah well, turns out I do" he heard, Sam scoff over the phone. 

"I'll be there in 30" he said turning of the stove, and walking over to the counter, to grab his keys. 

"Alright see ya" Sam said, he hung up he ate piece of bacon while tying the shoelaces on his boots. He grabbed his jacket, and his plate of food and walked out of his apartment. 

He pulled up to the junkyard, he saw Bobby out front clearing out some pieces of sheet metal. He turned and waved at him, Dean waved back and headed into the garage to park his car. 

Sam walked towards him, a smile on his face. His forehead had some machine oil, as well as his suit. 

"That was fast, usually when you say in 30, you mean an hour" he grinned and wiping the sweat of his face.

"Yeah well, I didn't really mind coming earlier" he patted Sam on the shoulder and walked into the house, "You got anything to eat?" 

He walked into the closet to grab his suit, and put it over his clothes. When he came out, he saw a sandwich and a cup of coffee, on the small wooden table.

Sam was in the fridge, he turned around and said "Jess made us all sandwiches" he nodded at the sandwich "that ones yours" 

He walked over to the table and took a bite "Best sandwich ever" he stuffed his mouth, then took a sip of his coffee, he looked at Sam "Not the best cup of coffee" 

Sam rolled his eyes and handed him the sugar, "I tried using, the diet sugar, guess it didn't work" he shrugged. 

Dean scoffed and took the sugar, after he finished eating they both walked outside to meet Bobby. He was working on the engine of a truck. 

"Hey boys, if your done wasting time, I need you to change the oil on those cars over there" he said not looking up from the car. 

Dean changed the oil of the car, and then moved the trashed car to the other side of the junkyard. Sam kept bothering him, and he could hardly get anything done.

They had a few people come in dropping their cars off, to be fixed, he was getting busier. 

They took a break for lunch and then continued to work. Each of them took a car, and by the end of the day Dean had fixed two cars, and moved about three to be taken apart for spare parts. He was tired and just wanted to sleep. Bobby had finished work early, he left to pick up some parts he needed for a car he was fixing. Dean and Sam were left to close up the junkyard. When they were done, Dean drove Sam back to his house. He and Jess had found a nice place after they had gotten engaged. Dean was happy for his brother, he loved to see Sam happy. He felt just a tad bit of jealousy, he wanted to have a house and someone to share it with too.

He had actually been saving up for a house he had his eyes on. It was the best thing he had ever seen, apart from Baby. It was a two story house, it had three bedrooms, and a basement. The master bedroom had it's own bathroom. The house also had a patio, leading to a beautiful backyard. It was little old and worn down, but he knew he could fix it to make it look like new. It was the reason why it was at a low price compared to other houses like it. Nobody had wanted to buy it because of its semi poor condition. He had been wanting to get that house for so long, he had applied for the house and taken a tour already. The only problem was, he just wasn't sure he could keep up with the payments. He was thinking about the house so much, it made the drive seem short.

When they pulled up, to the driveway Sam said "Why don't you come in? Jess won't be home for another hour, we could hangout?" Dean smiled, and nodded. 

As soon as they stepped inside Dean headed for the couch, he sank into it, sighing, man was this couch comfortable. Sam sat on the armchair beside him, and handed Dean a beer. Dean took it and drank from it. He looked around the house, and grinned, he was determined to get that house, whether he could afford it or not. 

"Why don't you get a roommate?" Sam said breaking the silence. Dean sat up, he stared at his brother, had he spoken about the house in the car, he couldn't remember. 

"I was going to tell you sometime, that I might've seen some loan papers and pictures of the house you told me about" Sam gave him a small smile, "Look I know you don't like people invading your space, but you could make a year long lease, I think by that time you'll be able to pay off the house on your own." Dean was quiet, Sam was right he didn't like people invading his space and the thought of some stranger made it worse. He didn't know anyone in need of a place to stay, so he would have to find someone he didn't know. But if it helped him get his house he would do it. He smiled and said "Your right Sam, know anyone who might be interested?" Sam shook his head, "Jess might, she's got friends all over" Dean nodded, he reached for the remote and turned on the tv. They were near the end of the movie when the doorknob rattled. Jess came in and smiled she was carrying some bags, she was dressed in her colorful nurses uniform. It had rainbow dots all over the pants and shirt. Sam got up to help her with the food. They were eating dinner when Sam brought up the question.

Jess nodded and smiled widely "a friend of mine, from when I used to be a tutor, is new in town, he's staying at a motel while he finds a place. I'm sure he'll want to. Have you bought the house yet?"

Dean nodded, "I actually applied already and they were checking my status, I should get the call any day now." he ate some more of the noodles, he felt a small wave of happiness overcome him. 

After dinner he said goodbye to Sam and Jess before heading home.

He was smiling the whole drive there. It might just work out, and he couldn't help but smile even wider. He was going to get his dream home. 

One less thing on his list. Now he just had to find his life long partner to share it with. 

When he got up the next morning, he received a call telling him they would drop the keys of at his apartment later that day and sign a few more papers. He was so excited that day, he didn't need all the coffee he usually did to brighten his day. 

During his lunch break he drove home to confirm the paper work, and get the keys to his new home. He texted his two bestfriends about the good news.

CHARLIE: That's great Dean!!

JO: yeah, way to go dude I cant wait to go back home, this student exchange program is tiring 

CHARLIE: I know when I did it, i couldn't wait to go home

DEAN: itll be worth it, you dont want to work at the Roadhouse with your mom forever right

JO: I dont know, but this way I'll have a chance to do something in the future if I want

CHARLIE: Yep, you gonna invite us over for a barbecue or what dude 

DEAN: Hell yeah!! gotta get a few things I left at the storage bin, it's been to long since I've used my grill

JO: Just one more week!! I'm so ready

CHARLIE: Don't worry you'll do great:)))

DEAN: Yeah, well throw you a welcome home party at my house ;)

JO: Yes!! I cant wait!! I gotta go guys, later :>

DEAN: bye 

CHARLIE: later bitches, breaks over :<

He squeezed the keys of his new home in his hand. He shut off his phone, and headed back to work. He could hardly focus on the car he was fixing. He felt like it had been ages since he came back to work, he was so anxious for the day to be over. 

After work was finally over, Sam and Dean went to pick up Jess from work, they headed to check out his new home. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel started off his day, with a pretty good mood, but it doesn't last very long, he heads over to see his bestfriend and try to cheer himself up. Things, begin to look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written in Castiels point of view.  
> Not sure if my upload schedule will stay like this, but I'll try to update on Thursdays and Sundays. For sure I'll upload on Thursdays but I might change up the other day I upload on. ANYWAYS enjoy the chapter. 💛💛

Castiel loved Wednesdays, it meant half the work week was over and it was also his day off, he could hangout with his best friend Meg all day sometimes. He had to drive a town over to meet her, but he didn't mind. He didn't have to now since he was moving to the same town as her. Which meant they could spend all day together, but not today, he had to go in for a job interview he had been offered. 

Meg had work, since she needed the extra cash. 

Castiel was a part time tutor and an assistant to a college professor. He had always been good with languages, literature and old history. He was offered the chance to teach his own classes, it wouldn't be full time like a teacher, it would be to help students earn extra credit. Besides he could still keep his old job as an assistant but would have to work over the phone. 

He had been living with his brother Gabriel for about two years, and didn't really have his own place. He had moved out a week ago, trying to find a place, but since he hadn't found anywhere to stay, he had been living in an old ratty motel for the past week. 

He hated to bother his friend, which is why he declined her offer to stay with her. 

And since his brother lived a town over, that wouldn't have been good for work.

He had found an old friend of his, Jess, the last time they had met up was when she started working as a nurse. They had kept in contact but it had been over a year since they had seen each other, and it felt weird to ask her to stay with her. She was also engaged and he didn't what to bother them both. 

He grabbed a piece of toast, his thermoflask full of coffee and headed out. He came back to his room shortly after he left, he had forgotten his phone, and sweater and it was cold out. 

He drove his old, gray, nissan to the college a few miles away. He made it just in time, he had gotten lost, and couldn't find the right building and finally decided to ask for help. 

The interview went great, and they said he could start as soon as possible. He was so happy and excited, he wanted to tell his friend, he opened his phone to find that Meg had already texted him. 

MEG: sooo, How'd it go? did you get the job?

CAS: YEAH!! I'm starting on Monday!!

MEG: I told you, you would, now stop being lame and come stay with me I have a pull out you can use

CAS: Its okay, I found a place already 

Cas bit his finger nail. He didn't like to lie to her, or be a bother so he figured this was better.

MEG: Really? How come you hadn't told me

CAS: just found it today

MEG: Well, can I help you move in?

CAS: uh, are you free later today, I wanted to hang out? it feels like it's been forever

MEG: Of course, Come pick me up? 

CAS: Of course, time?

MEG: 6, don't be late

CAS: I won't :3

He walked to his car and sat there quietly finishing his coffee from earlier. He was pretty excited to start working. It was around 11 so he rode through town. He didn't have anything better to do so he decide to drive around trying to see if any apartment buildings were renting. He found two but when he called they said they didn't have any vacant apartments, they had just forgotten to take the signs down. 

He drove to a restaurant with a drive through, and ordered some food and continued to search for a place to stay. He found some signs on light posts, that said they were renting rooms and he decided to call them. Only one of them actually picked up, it was an old lady. She said she was looking for someone to stay with her, and watch over her dogs, cats and birds. Cas declined the offer, he already had a job and didn't really want to watch animals all day long, would he even get sleep?

He left voicemails to the other three. He was feeling pretty broken, his good mood slowly starting to drift away. The only thing he had to keep him just a bit happy was the fact that he was going to go out with Meg later. 

He had spent all day searching but came up empty. 

He drove to the burger joint Meg was working in that day, she had many part time jobs saving up money for school. She was three years younger than him, she was also studying to become a nurse just like Jess. 

He opened the glass doors and walked inside, "Hello miss" Meg looked up from behind the counter. 

"How can I help you Clarence?" she said, smiling widely.

"I'll take the combo" she punched in his order, she looked back up at him and said "I know I said don't be late but should I have said don't be too early?" 

Cas handed her a ten dollar bill, she took it and gave him back his change.

"I was just feeling a bit down, and I needed a friend" Cas shrugged his shoulders. He needed someone to be around with, and no matter what she did she always seemed to brighten his mood. 

"Well, you came to the right place" she said, grinning. 

"I hope so, otherwise I'd have to find another friend"

"Haha" she leaned in closer, "Between you and me, I could use a break, I'm so bored, I'm glad you came" 

Castiel heard his order number being called and walked up to pick up his food. 

"That was fast" he said.

"As you can see, it's kinda lonely"

"Wanna share" Cas asked. She nodded. 

"Hey Tommy! I'll be right back mind covering for me?" Meg shouted turning to face the back. 

A young looking kid who was on his phone, poked his head out "Sure", he was chewing gum loudly. 

Meg walked around the counter and took Cas to the back of the restaurant, there were a couple chairs out there. They sat down and shared the food.

They talked for a while, Cas loved having company, he always felt lonely. He was always busy, working most of the time. He was a 29 year old man, who didn't even have a home of his own. It was pretty embarrassing, maybe even a bit sad, that he didn't have his own place, not even a small cramped apartment to call home. He had always pictured himself settling down with someone nice, someplace beautiful. He had someone once, a few years back. He had thought he was the one, but that's not how it turned out. He got his heart broken, and he kinda lost interest in people. But when he did picture himself happy, he was around the people and things he loved. He wanted to have a beautiful back yard and grow some flowers to attract bees. 

He loved them, they always seemed so amazing to him. How they all worked together, built their own home, and looked out for each other. They fascinated him, he used to study them when he was still a student, as an extra credit class. He wanted to grow colorful flowers to attract them, and watch them whenever he wanted. That's what he picture his dream home to be, him being surrounded by the things he loved. He wanted to meet someone great and fall in love. Start something nice, and who knew maybe have a couple of kids. He wanted to experience real love, for the first time. 

"Clarence? Hello?" Meg waved her hand in front of his face. 

"Oh sorry" he bit into a french fry, snapping out of his day dream, "What were you saying?" it was the only thing he could think of asking, truthfully he hadn't heard a single word she had said, he didn't even know she was talking.

Meg took a bite of the burger they had split in half, with a playfully annoyed look on her face, "I was saying that we should go watch a movie. There's a new one that just came out, it's a murder mystery." 

"Sounds good" Cas said, he needed something to take his mind off his bad luck, and it had been a long time since he watched a good movie.

When they finished they headed back inside. Cas helped clean the tables, and sweep up trash on the floor. Meg told him he didn't have to do that, since he wasn't getting payed to clean. He ignored her and helped anyways, he wanted to do something to pass the time. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Meg was done working.

They grabbed their tickets, after getting popcorn and soda, and chocolate, because Meg kept insisting they needed chocolate. They headed inside the theater to look for their seats. 

They were about to name the last two suspects, it was very exciting, he loved to work out the evidence in his head and try to determine who the killer was before it was revealed. He was at the edge of his seat, when he felt Meg tap his shoulder. 

"That guy keeps checking you out" she said pointing with her head to a man sitting a few seats down beside them. Cas looked away from the screen, he stuck his head out, he saw a man grin and nodd at him, Cas gave him an awkward smile, before leaning back onto his seat. 

"Hmm, not interested" he ate some popcorn, looking back at the screen. 

"What? Why not, he's hot?" she was quiet, then she said "Cas, you can't avoid everyone, you know not everyone's like him, he's an asshole and your bound to find the right person, you can't avoid every guy forever" she rested her head on his shoulder. She placed her hand over his, and gave it a small squeeze. 

"I know" Cas said, he looked down "I'm just not ready yet, I'm afraid I'll get hurt again and I know not everyone is the same" he sighed and took a deep breath, looking over at her "I will open up, but not yet" he bumped his head on Meg's making her chuckle. 

"Alright" she patted the side of his face before grabbing some popcorn and stuffing her mouth with it. 

After the movie finished, they went to eat some Chinese food. Cas felt his phone vibrate. He opened the message and saw it was Jess. He smiled and wrote back hi. She answered almost immediately. She asked him whether or not he had found a place. He texted back 

CAS: No not yet.

JESS: Oh Okay great!

CAS: uh, that's kinda mean don't you think?

JESS: Sorry not like that, I meant to tell you I found you a place, Sam's brother is getting a house, if it all goes well he'll probably get it in a few days, he wants to find someone to live with, while he gathers enough money to pay off the house on his own

CAS: Wow that's great, but I don't know him, won't it be weird? 

JESS:It would only be for a year. I figure by that time you would've found a place and it wouldn't be so weird, we could hangout out more often too. So what do you say?

CAS: okay, I'll think about it, also it would be great to see you again it's been to long :)

JESS: I agree :)) let me know as soon as you decide 

CAS: alright see ya Jess

JESS: see ya 

He told Meg about it. 

"I thought you said you had found a place, huh?"

She lifted her eyebrow and crossed her arms.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to keep bothering you" he gave her a smile.

"Well, I think you should do it, if you hate that crappy motel room so much this would be even better. If you really don't want to live with me that's fine, you'd have more space there than in my tiny apartment anyway." She smiled and ate some more food. 

"It's not that I don't want to live with you, I just don't want to be trouble, but I think your right this might be good." he drank some soda. 

"Yeah, and he might be cute" she grinned. 

Cas rolled his eyes. 

She laughed and they finished off their dinner. They shared teasing comments on one another for a while. 

He was still thinking about it even after he had dropped her off at her apartment. 

In the end he pulled his phone out and texted Jess saying he would do it. 

The next day he went to work, someone had called in a tutoring appointment. He had actually missed working, keeping busy always kept him from drifting of an thinking about his life, and how it wasn't going all that well. When he finished, he saw Jess had texted him, she told him it worked out and he could move in as soon as Dean, Sam's brother had settled in. He was really nervous and excited, he called his brother telling him he would swing by his house to get some of his stuff. He felt so happy to get out of the crappy motel he'd been living in, and couldn't wait to meet his roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is about to start a new chapter of his life, (plus a tiny bit of backstory) he cant wait till he settles in his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this Dean chapter. Sorry about the slow burn (I love them) dont worry we're going to get to the good parts soon.

They pulled up to the worn down, old house. Dean was so excited he could hardly keep it together. He walked up the wooden porch, and ran his fingers along the wooden rails. He opened the door stepping into the empty house. 

Some of the paint was peeling off the walls. The door had a few cracks, and dents but nothing major.

He walked down the small hallway. There was a small closet on the right, under the stairs. He turned to the left and walked into the empty living room, it smelled of wood and paint. 

He lead them to the kitchen through the living room, it was a pretty big kitchen, it had a breakfast bar, and space for a dinner table. The cabinets and counter were white. It also had a really nice big refrigerator. The door of the basement was in there too, a few feet beside the stove. 

He walked through a small archway. There was a pantry on the left and directly across it the stairs. The stairs were also reachable through the hall. 

Dean looked forward, staring out the glass doors, looking out at the patio. 

He walked up the stairs, he remembered that they didn't creak as much considering that the house was old. 

They walked up stairs, there were four doors up there. 

One at the end of the hall which was the master bedroom. One of the guest bedrooms, was at the beginning of the hall and the two doors next to each other were the other guest bedroom and the bathroom. 

There was a second restroom down at the basement. He showed Sam and Jess the inside of the guest bedrooms and the bathroom. Then they walked inside the master bedroom, it had it's own little bathroom too. 

He walked to the big windows and pulled one of them up to open it. He took a deep breath and felt the cool night time breeze against his face. He sat on the sitting area near the window. He pictured a few pillows on there, making it a great place to sit at and look out into the backyard. Sam and Jess came closer and opened another window. They smiled looking down at the yard too.

"Wow, I'm actually kinda jealous" Jess said smiling widely. 

Sam nodded "Yup, it's real nice Dean" 

Dean smiled, "I know, its awesome" 

They walked back down stairs, and went down to the basement. There was a small room down there too, almost like an office. It also had a laundry room. 

"The basement would make a pretty good den, don't you think?" he asked them both. 

"It'll look great with a giant plasma screen tv"

"You read my mind" Dean said. 

Jess chuckled, "And a bar too"

Dean smiled, "I'm glad we all think alike"

They went outside to the backyard. And sat on some chairs already out there.

"You guys gonna help me move in tomorrow after work?" Dean asked, picking up a small twig and throwing it as far as he could.

"Of course" Sam said, he had his arm wrapped around Jess's shoulder. 

"Totally, you helped us so it's only right to return the favor, besides you don't have that many things" she said, smiling. 

Dean scoffed and grinned. 

"Thanks for coming over with me today" he smiled at them. 

Jess and Sam nodded.

After sitting outside for a while, they headed back to the impala. Dean locked his house, he was so happy he couldn't wait to move in. 

They drove to a burger joint, and got some burgers. They headed to Sam and Jess's house. After they ate dinner Dean headed back to his apartment, he wanted to go to bed kinda early. He needed to have a lot of energy to be able to move in tomorrow. He smiled thinking about his house. It had been a long time since he had something to look forward too. 

The next morning he showered and drank his morning cups of coffee. He drove to work, ready to leave as soon as he got there. He didn't hate working, he loved his job. He loved being able to work with his brother and father like uncle. He was just anxious and wanted to really make his house his own, arrange his furniture whatever way he wanted. 

He focused on finishing what he was doing. 

He was fixing the break lines of a couple cars. He also took apart a few cars, for spare parts. It was Friday and they left work early.

After work he and Sam drove to his apartment. They both packed his things in a few boxes. They borrowed a truck from Bobby to move his things. 

Bobby told them he would come over to check out the house soon. 

Since it was Friday Bobby had to go out making deliveries to other repair shops that bought spare parts from them. 

Dean had also told his best friend Charlie to come over, she said she would, she was just tied up at work, and needed to finish a project. 

"Dude, I thought you didn't have a lot of stuff" Sam said rubbing the back of his neck.

"Thought so too" he smiled, he grabbed a box and handed it to him, "We're done anyway, mind taking this last box down" 

Sam took the box and smiled at his brother. He knew Dean needed a few minutes alone. He walked out of the apartment and loaded the last box.

Dean walked into his room to grab the last of his things. He smiled and sighed, he had been living in this place for a very long time and he was about to leave it forever. 

He had a lot of memories in this place. Some good, others not so much. He moved here when Sam and Jess got engaged. This is where he had celebrated a few birthdays. 

He remembered when he first moved in, how he would bring his one night stands here. How he was so lonely he had to go out to find someone to be with.

And after they left he would lock himself up in his room eating away his feelings, and watching movies to brighten his mood. 

Then he met Lee. He hadn't thought about him in so long. He didn't like too. 

He was Dean's first boyfriend. Before he knew him, he was aware of his attraction to men. 

He came out to his brother and Jess before anyone, and at that time he had already began dating Lee. 

He told his best friends and Bobby next and they were all so supportive. He had some great memories with him. 

In the end, Lee turned out to be a total jerk. 

He had really hurt him, and even though he didn't admit it to anyone they kinda knew. Nobody brought him up around Dean because it wasn't something he could talk about for a while. 

It had been about a year and Dean still didn't talk about what happened between them, not to anyone and he wasn't sure he wanted to, ever. 

He could feel tears begin to swell up in his eyes. He rubbed them, and cleared his throat, he didn't want to think about him at all. 

He walked to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face. He gripped the edges of the sink, his breaths heavy. 

He shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to cry over someone who wasn't worth it. 

He was in the bathroom for awhile, calming down, after he was sure he was okay he walked out. 

He walked to the front door, and turned to look back at his old home, smiling, he was ready to start again. 

He walked outside and found Sam patiently waiting for him in the truck.

"Ready?" Sam asked. 

"Yeah" he smiled at his brother and walked over to his car. 

They drove to Dean's house and unloaded the truck. He tried to put each box where it belonged. After they were done, Sam left to pick up Jess and some food too. 

Dean took some of his boxes down to the basement. And began cleaning down there. 

When Sam and Jess arrived, they started cleaning right away. 

They helped him move the couch to the living room, which they had left outside. They had taken apart the bed to make it easier to carry. Jess carried some furniture in by herself while Sam and Dean took the bed upstairs. 

"Come on Sam, I thought you weren't weak" Dean said lifting the head board, it had gotten stuck on the door frame and they had been trying to set it loose. 

"Im NOT!" Sam shouted, and with one final push he managed to free the head board, Dean pulled his head back, Sam nearly slammed it onto his face. 

He scoffed and looked at Sam. 

Sam shrugged and chuckled. 

"It didn't even hit you" 

"It could've, and you would've damaged my handsome face" Dean grinned. 

Sam rolled his eyes, "Hurry up Mr. Handsome" 

They each chose which rooms to clean.

Jess cleaned the bathroom and guest bedrooms. Sam helped with the kitchen and the living room. Dean worked on the basement, after cleaning out his room. 

He took the old washer out, he was going to get himself a better one. He swept the dusty wooden floor, and dusted the shelves. He actually had to wear a dust mask because there was so much of it. 

Jess put in some new shower curtains, and arranged his things on the bathroom cabinet. She wiped the mirror and the windows. Then she went into the bedrooms and vacuumed the carpets. 

Sam wiped down the whole kitchen. He swept and dusted the shelves. He also wiped down all the windows in the living room. 

By time they had finished cleaning the house it was around ten. They sat in the living room drinking some beer, they were all exhausted. They talked about the colors Dean should use to paint the inside of the house. 

They didn't have work tomorrow and Jess was excited to come and help paint the inside of the house. She asked "When should I tell Cas, he can move in?" 

Dean looked at her, he was confused before he remembered. 

Castiel was the guy that was supposed to be living with him for the next year, he had actually forgotten he was going to have a roommate. 

He still wasn't sure about him, but he hadn't even met him yet, he didn't know if he was going to like him or not. 

Jess knew him, so he guessed he wasn't going to be too bad.

"Tomorrow I guess, he can help us paint too" he drank his beer, Castiel better not be an asshole or this wasn't going to work out. 

Jess smiled, "Don't worry Dean, he's very kind and helpful, you'll love him" 

What was it with people knowing what he was thinking. It was creepy. 

He nodded and gave her a forced smile, he really hoped so. 

After Dean had ordered in pizza for them, and they ate, Sam and Jess took the truck back home. 

Dean was left alone in his new home. 

He cleaned up a bit before heading outside. He turned the lights on and continued to clean. He raked some of the dead leaves. He also swept the patio, and wiped the glass doors that lead out to it. 

It was 12 by the time he headed to bed. 

He hadn't put the bed back together so he slept on the mattress. 

He lay down looking up at the ceiling. He smiled, he was sleepy and exhausted "Don't worry old girl, I'll fix you up nicely" he yawned and closed his eyes, he fell asleep in minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting tomorrow too!! And since there's no school on Monday I might (I probably will) post another chapter on Sunday. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!!! :3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel, goes over to see his brother, and gets ready to move. He hangs out with his best friend after work, and gets some great news, that make his evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy valentines everyone! Even if you dont have a special some one, there is some one around you who loves you, happy valentines to Cas and Dean too. These couple of gæs own today. 💛💛

Cas drove over to his brother's place, he wanted to get the packing done with. He knocked on the front door, waiting patiently. Gabriel opened the door, he looked like he had barely woken up. 

"Hey, Cas" he said rubbing his eyes. 

"Hello, Gabriel" Cas said, he was just standing there not moving, "are you gonna let me in?" he asked. 

Gabriel yawned and moved from the doorway, he smiled and walked back inside to the living room. 

"Were you sleeping? Its the middle of the day" Cas kicked some clothes out of the way. 

"Yeah, it was my day off, you want some food? I was just about to heat some up" he said, walking into the kitchen. 

He pulled out a bag from the refrigerator. He opened it and put the small carry out boxes in the microwave. 

"If it's still food, yeah" 

Gabriel chuckled, Cas bent down and picked up a few candy wrappers from the floor.

"How long has it been since you cleaned up the place?" Cas looked over at the kitchen sink pretty packed with dishes, some of which weren't even dirty. 

"I've been busy with work, I was going to do it today" he pulled the food out from the microwave and ate some noodles. He extended the box out to Cas. 

"Only until we clean up" he said. 

Gabriel groaned and put the food down, he started to clear the table. 

Cas helped him clean the living room. He picked up his brothers smelly clothes, and the candy wrappers stuffed in the couch cushions. He got rid of the trash and empty beer cans on the coffee table. 

Gabriel began washing the dishes, Cas walked over to help him dry them. He took a white rag and began wiping the dishes dry. 

"So where did you find a place to stay?" Gabe asked. 

"I'm going to be living with someone one till I find a place of my own, I came over to pack a few of my things it won't be long before I move in." Gabe stared at him "Do you know this person?" 

"My friend does, they're pretty close so I'm sure he's okay" Cas stacked the dry dishes on top of each other. 

"Okay, but if he's not, you're going to stay with Meg, or you come stay here with me again" he said, washing a pot with force. 

"Yeah" 

They finished with the dishes and began putting them away. 

"You did get the job right?" Gabe asked while sweeping the floor. 

Cas nodded happily "I was going to come see you sooner and tell you, but yeah I did" he smiled as he wiped the counter, ridding it of the soapy water. 

He took the broom from his brother and went to sweep the living room. 

Gabriel finished cleaning the kitchen and took out the trash that was beginning to stack. 

When they were done the house looked significantly different. They finally sat down to eat the leftovers. 

"So what's their name?" Gabriel asked eating some rice.

"Dean, I think" Cas slurped a noodle, and watched as his brother stuffed his mouth with food.

"Hmm, well I hope you guys get along, you're going to be okay, right?" he asked, his mouth full.

Cas nodded, "yeah don't worry"

Gabriel swallowed his food, and drank from his beer, before talking.

"I only worry about you, cause you're moving far away from me, I won't be able to look out for you" 

Cas sighed, "I know, after living together for two years, I got pretty attached, I actually kinda miss cleaning up after you" Cas smiled at his older brother. 

Gabriel, chuckled "Just be careful, okay?" 

Cas nodded, he knew what his brother was aiming at and he didn't really want to talk about it. He wasn't planning on dating anyone anytime soon. He drank some of his soda before eating more food. 

Afterwards they went back out to his car and took out some boxes he had brought. His brother helped him pack some clothes and books among other stuff. 

He didn't know how much to take so he only packed important things. When they were done he said goodbye to his brother, who walked him out. 

"Jeez, Gabriel you should take a shower" Cas said, pulling away from their hug, his nose scrunched up. 

Gabe laughed and nodded, "Don't gotta tell me twice, take care of your self alright?" 

"Yes, of course" Cas smiled before walking down the steps. He got in his car, he started the engine and waved at his brother. 

He waved goodbye to Cas as he drove away. 

When he got back into town it was already dark out. He went back to the motel and heated up some frozen dinner. He texted Meg, for a bit before, getting ready for bed. 

Castiel went to sleep hoping it wasn't too long before he had to leave this place. 

The next day the professor called him, he need some translations done, for an upcoming class. Cas took a shower, before heading to get some breakfast. He drove to a small restaurant he had been eating at for a while. 

After he was done eating he texted Meg telling her he was going to be working, and he wasn't going to be able to drive her to work. 

He drove to the library, most of his books were back with his brother packed away for when he moved, so he didn't have the ones he needed. He sat at a table near the back, where it was lonelier than any of the other spots in the library. Fridays were some of the days the library was most quiet, not that it always wasn't but it was lonelier, during the morning. 

The afternoon was busy with kids, doing research and clacking away at the keyboards. 

He sat at a table reading book after book. He took notes, spending most of his morning writing and reading. 

He had forgotten to bring his laptop so he used the computers there to type in his report. He was pretty busy, and even though he was mostly sitting, he felt tired. His neck hurt a bit too, he was getting hungry so he got up and walked to a nearby Cafe. 

He ordered one of the strongest coffees they had and a meatball sub. He was walking back to the library and decided to walk through the park, for a break. 

Meg texted him saying she was going to take him out after work, and he had better be finished by then. 

His walk was short, but quite nice. He heard the laughter of kids running around laughing. He saw dogs running around and a few bees sucking the nectar from the flowers. 

He made his way to the library to finish his research. The sun was going to go down soon, and he didn't want to be there late. He typed up the last bit of information, and put back the books before walking to his car. 

"CLARENCE!" he felt Meg grab his shoulder, he would've shouted if he wasn't in shock. He turned around, startled, his eyes wide open. Meg couldn't stop laughing.

"Jesus, Meg you can't creep up behind someone like that" she patted his shoulder, breathing in deeply. 

"I'm sorry, it was just too tempting" she huffed out a chuckle and walked over to the other side of the car. 

Cas shook his head and they both got in the car. She was grinning widely, "You know where we're going" she asked. 

"No"

"Were going on a date, and I'm paying, I feel like we haven't had a decent dinner in a while"

Cas knew there must have been some reason behind her offer of paying for dinner. 

"What?" she asked, "You know I'll always be your date when you don't have one…" 

Cas raised an eyebrow. "

"...also there's a discount for couples at a nearby restaurant"

Cas chuckled "I knew you were being too nice, to not have a reason" he said starting the car. 

Meg gasped, "Clarence, I'm hurt, you don't think I'm nice? and here I was asking you out" 

Cas laughed, he drove them to the restaurant, during the drive they discussed what they should get to eat. 

They got a pair of steaks with a side of mashed potatoes and greens. They ate their dinner, and Meg actually payed which was sometimes a surprise. 

She stuck her tongue because she knew what Cas was thinking, it was all over his face. 

After they ate dinner they drove to a seven eleven since Meg was craving a slurpee. 

"I'll pay for yours too" she said, filling her cup with cherry flavored slurpee.

"Do you want something?" he asked.

"Can't I be nice without being hated on" Meg said, she grabbed two lids. 

"I guess you can" Cas said, they made their way to the counter after they had gotten their drinks. 

They walked to a nearby park and sat on the benches, it was dark out. The light posts were they only thing lighting up the dirt pathway. They sat there drinking their slurpees.

"So you gonna let me help you move?" Meg asked slurping loudly. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Cas said, grinding the ice in his mouth. 

"I don't know, have they told you when you can move in?" 

"No, hopefully it's soon, I don't want to still be living in the motel when I start work."

He felt his phone buzz, he pulled it out. He thought it might have been Zach the professor he worked for. He saw it was a message from Jess. 

JESS: Hey Cas! Guess what, he got the house and we just helped him move in today, he said you could move in tomorrow

CAS: Oh my god that's great! thanks again for finding me a place to stay

JESS: Of course, hope you didn't mind painting 

CAS: I like painting, why?

JESS: Dean might have been joking, but he said he wanted you to help us paint

CAS: oh, I guess I can, it's the least I could do since he's being kind enough to let me stay in his new place

JESS: I'm sure he was just joking, do you have any questions I could answer to make things less awkward?

"Who's that?" Meg asked, she looked over at his phone "Castiel, you better not be cheating on me" 

Cas chuckled "Of course not, Its just another friend, the one who found the place for me to stay" he tapped his thumbs against one another. 

"You should ask if he's dating anyone?" Meg said, she read the text Jess had sent.

"That's something weird to ask about" Cas said. 

"Just ask" she drank more of her red slurpee. 

CAS: Is he dating someone? I just don't want to be all awkward when he has someone over, sorry if its weird to ask

JESS: It's alright, no he's not seeing anyone

CAS: okay, um what time should I show up?

JESS: around noon, I guess would be a great time, he's not really a morning person, you know what I'll give you his number so you can ask him

CAS: thanks :>

JESS: no problem:>

After he texted Jess, he and Meg walked back to his car. 

He asked her whether she could come with him to move in tomorrow. She said she would, one day without work wouldn't hurt. 

He dropped her off and drove back to the motel. One more night, he thought. 

He added Dean as a contact and since it was late he thought it would be best to text him tomorrow. 

He shut his phone off, and headed to bed, happy that he was finally going to have a stable place to live for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaay, one more chapter on Sunday!!! Just felt like I've written plenty of chapters and want you guys to catch up, the good parts are coming, promise. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going out to buy the supplies Dean needs to get his house done, isn't the only thing he needs to get ready for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting a bit late, I had to make sure the chapter was ready before updating. Hope you like this chapter in Dean's pov, so close to having them meet.

When Dean woke up, he had forgotten where he was, for a second. 

After rubbing his eyes, and putting his robe on he walked to the bathroom. 

He splashed some water on his face and wiped himself with a small white towel on a hook beside him. He walked downstairs, and into the kitchen. He pulled out his mug and started the coffee machine. 

He took his cup of coffee and walked to the glass doors. He opened them and walked out to the patio. 

He could smell the morning dew on the grass. He drank his coffee allowing the breeze to cool it down first. He smiled, looking out into the backyard, watching as the animals and sun woke up. 

He felt a sudden rush of happiness, staring out at his home, knowing that everything he was standing on belonged to him, filled him with joy. 

He headed back inside after he had finished his coffee. 

He made himself another cup, and walked back upstairs. 

He took a quick shower and got dressed, he was going to go out and buy a few buckets of paint. He wanted to paint as much of the house as he could. Since he worked every day, except for the weekends, he didn't know when he would be able to continue painting. He was going to text Sam to ask him, if he wanted to join him, when his phone vibrated. He opened it and saw it was an unknown number. 

DEAN: who's this?

CASTIEL: Hello, my name's Castiel, I'm the person who's going to be living with you. 

Dean wondered how he got his number, but before he could ask he said

CASTIEL: Jess gave me your number, she said I should ask you when I could come over, I didn't want to just show up out of the blue, also sorry if I bothered you 

Dean grinned, he hadn't even met Cas yet but he knew he somehow knew he was going to be very sincere. He was going to be the type to be very apologetic. Maybe he was going to be just as nice as Jess had said. 

DEAN: it's no problem, I was about to head out anyway I guess you could come over around one

CASTIEL: that's great, see you then :)

Dean smiled. 

DEAN: yup see ya :)

He drove to Sam's house. 

"So where's Jess?" Dean asked. He walked over to the kitchen counter. 

"She went to work early remember?" Sam said he was cooking some pancakes. 

"Right" he walked over to his brother and punched his shoulder lightly. 

"Move over, you know I make the best pancakes" Sam scoffed, but moved over to the cutting board. He chopped some bananas and strawberries. Dean poured the batter into the pan and watched the pancake rise. He really did make great pancakes. He knew exactly when to flip them over. Both sides came out even, and they were perfectly round. 

Sam grabbed their mugs and poured some coffee in each. 

He and Sam sat at the table to eat their breakfast. Dean poured syrup and whipped cream on his pancakes. 

"You're not even gonna live long enough to live in your house" Sam said.

"Are you hating on my food?" Dean asked, still pouring syrup on his pancakes. 

"I don't even think anyone can call all that food" 

"Im sorry, Mr. Bananas on pancakes"

"Hey, bananas and strawberries are delicious on pancakes" 

"Whatever" 

After they had eaten breakfast, they both headed to Home Depot. 

Sam told Dean, Jess was working a really early shift so she could come out earlier to help them paint and decorate. She had actually taken the 5 o'clock shift, which Dean found unbelievable.

Sam and Dean discussed what colors to use. Then they began to argue, they could never agree on anything. 

"Pink? I don't even know why you would say that" Dean asked.

"I said it's like pink not that it is" Sam argued.

"Still, I don't think I want to use that color" 

"Okay, but green?" 

"Its not" 

"Whatever dude"

In the end they settled with the right colors. Dean chose a color called blueberry pie for his room and the basement. It was a dark shade of blue, with a lavender undertone. He also chose a color called Sailor Boy, for the living room and halls. It was a twilight blue-purple with a lavender undertone. 

Sam suggested they paint the other bedrooms Silver blueberry, it was a twilight blue that also had a lavender undertone. 

The kitchen would be Alpaca wool, it was a caramel yellow with a bronze undertone. One of the workers told them it was a good complimentary color for the Sailor boy, blue. Dean chose a Soft Gold color, which wasn't gold at all, it was a bright yellow with a sunflower undertone, for the small office. 

He also picked out a few different doors, they were a light wood color that would go well with the outside of the house, which was a very pale, misty, blue-purple color. He bought a few tools he needed before they headed home. 

They got the stuff out and began pouring the paint into painting trays. 

Dean wore one of his old shirts as he began to paint the hallway. Sam started on the living room. They had been painting for a long time and they decided to take a small break, they had a snack before going back to painting. 

"Its gonna look great when we're done" Sam said. 

"It's gonna be awesome" Dean said with a wide smile on his face.

They continued painting their sections of the house. It was around twelve, when Sam told him he was leaving to pick Jess up from work. 

He continued painting, he had finished the hallway and was busy finishing the livingroom Sam had painted halfway. 

By the time Sam and Jess came home he was done with the living room. Luckily they had brought over some food, because he was starving. They ate and then continued to paint. 

Jess and Sam moved on to the kitchen and he began painting the upstairs hallway. 

Dean scoffed, he could hear Jess screaming and laughing, he could only imagine the mess the two were making downstairs. He was listening to Stairway to Heaven by led zeppelin when his phone buzzed. He opened his phone and saw it was a message from Castiel. 

CASTIEL: Just wanted to let you know I'm almost there

DEAN: That's great, see you soon then 

CASTIEL: yeah :>

He turned his phone off and walked downstairs.

"Hey guys- What the hell happened to you?" Sam's hair was covered in paint along with his shirt and arms. 

"Jess may have gotten a bit carried away" he said sticking his tongue out at her. 

She crossed her arms, "he started it" she turned around revealing the back of her shirt and some of her hair, covered in paint. 

Dean laughed, Jess and Sam did too. 

"So what where you going to tell us?" Sam asked, he was wiping his arms with a wet towel. 

"Oh, right, Castiel texted me a minute ago, he said he was almost here" he rubbed the back of his neck, he didn't know why he was beginning to feel nervous. 

It wasn't like he was moving into someone else home. They must have both seen the look on his face because they both got closer to him. Sam put his hand on his brothers shoulder, he gave him a smile and said, "Don't worry Dean, everything's going to go well" 

Jess nodded "Like I said he's a total sweetheart, and if he gives you trouble, I'll kick his ass for you, I doubt it though" 

He forced a smile on his face, even though he was getting all this reassurance he still felt a bit nervous. 

"You're going to love him" Jess said, she smiled. 

Dean helped them both clean up. While Sam washed out his arms in the sink, Jess tried washing some of the paint off her hair. He tried to finish what they had started. There was a knock at the front door that made Dean flinch a tiny bit. He had spaced out, he was thinking about how Castiel might be. 

He looked up at Sam and Jess, they gave him a smile. They stared at each other, before walking down the hall. 

Dean was the first one at the door, Jess and Sam followed close behind him. He could feel the sweat on his forehead begin to form. He took a deep breath, the smell of fresh paint filling his lungs. He put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door. He felt his stomach turn, and the breath he had just taken, hadn't prepared him enough. He stared into the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologize, something came up and since I write and revise, my chapters I needed time to make sure it was ready. I hope you guys liked this chapter and I appreciate your patience. Thank you for reading   
> :).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is more than ready to leave his ratty motel. He just isn't sure anymore, that moving in with someone he doesn't know all that well is right. He doesn't know how wrong he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO UPDATES IN A DAY!! ENJOY!! XD

Cas was especially happy today. He was so excited he got in the shower without the need of coffee. He sang in the shower too, which he hadn't done in a long time. He was singing Bad Moon Rising while washing the soap, out of his hair. 

When he got out of the shower, after getting dressed he began to pack. He grabbed his clothes from the closet, and drawers and stuffed them inside a couple duffel bags he had. He was humming and smiling, _finally gonna get out of here,_ he thought. He grabbed the rest of his things and tossed them in the back seats of his car. He sat in his car for a while, looking up at his motel room. He was so glad he was leaving he couldn't wait to see where he was going to be staying. He started the car, before he began to drive he pulled out his phone. 

He texted Meg and asked her if she was awake. She texted back that she was waiting for him, so they could have breakfast together. He thought for a second before texting Dean. He was hesitant but decided it was best to see if he was awake yet.

He remembered Jess saying he wasn't a morning person and he wasn't sure if he should have sent him something. He sat patiently waiting for a response, maybe he wasn't awake yet, and he would answer later. He put his phone down. He was about to begin to drive when his phone buzzed. 

Dean had answered, he told Cas he hadn't bothered him since he was going out. Cas felt a bit calmer.

He didn't want to ruin any chance of starting off right. It killed him to bother people, he had a habit of over thinking and it seemed that most of the time it would be negatively. He bit his bottom lip, he sent him a smiley face, because he felt like it was a good way to show he was friendly. He smiled when he got a text back from Dean along with a smiley face too. This helped him feel like Dean wasn't as intimidating as he sounded. Dean told him at what time he could show up, he looked at the time and saw it was 7:45. He knew he could probably make it to Gabe's place around 9 and be over at Dean's a little over one. 

He put his phone away, and began driving over to Meg's apartment. 

He texted Meg when he was out front the building. She told him to come up, and so he did after parking the car. 

Cas thought they were going out to eat but Meg had a better idea. 

"How long has it been since you ate a decent breakfast that wasn't microwaved?" she asked, bringing out some eggs from her refrigerator. 

"It's been awfully long" Cas said taking a pan and putting it over the stove. 

They grabbed what they needed to cook. He cracked a few eggs and Meg poured some oil into the pan. They made breakfast omelets first. He added tomatoes and spinach to his. 

"Aren't you going to put anything on yours?" he asked. 

"Oh! right." she grabbed a single spinach leaf and put it in the middle of her sizzling omelet. 

Cas chuckled, "Wow, sure you wanna take that risk?" 

She nodded "This is me trying to be healthy, dont hate" 

He flipped the omelets and then set them on a couple of plates. Meg took over the pan, cooking some bacon. He went over to the rusty old toaster on her kitchen counter and slipped in two pieces of bread. 

He grabbed a couple of bananas and chocolate syrup. He also pulled out the milk from the refrigerator. He put everything into the blender. He grabbed a couple of cups and poured in the smoothies. 

After Meg had finished cooking the bacon, the room smelled relatively good. They walked over to the small table against the wall, in between the living room and kitchen. 

He saw her bite into two pieces of bacon. She smiled widely. He liked bacon but Meg loved it. If she could, she would live on only greasy food.

They both reached out to grab their cups, and drank their chocolate and banana smoothies. Meg put her cup down, she had a foamy chocolate moustache on her upper lip. Castiel chuckled, she wiped it away with a small laugh. They talked over how they were going to move his things, he wasn't going to bring all his stuff but he needed quite a few. 

He wasn't sure it was going to fit in his car, so he texted his brother and asked if they could use his car. He wrote back that they could, he had actually carpooled that day with a couple friends so they were welcome to his car. 

When they finished eating their breakfast and had cleaned up, they started their drive to Gabriel's house. 

"You excited Clarence?" Meg asked, rolling down the window and looking out. 

Cas looked out at the road and smiled "Yeah"

Meg chuckled "Yeah, I bet" she grinned and wiggled her eyebrows, "Having him all to yourself, in a lonely house you know, just the two of you" 

Cas scoffed and smiled, "I don't even know what he looks like, I can't possibly be thinking about that" 

"You're right, he could be ugly" she said.

"Yeah, he could" Cas said, he tried to imagine what Dean might look like. He could be super tall like Sam. He had seen pictures of him and Jess together but he didn't think he'd ever seen Dean. He could also be super short, sometimes it happened the older sibling being shorter than the younger one. 

He chuckled to himself imagining Dean being super scrawny, compared to his younger brother. He still couldn't put a face to him though, what if he was bald, or had a lot of hair. 

"But if he's cute _I_ call dibs" Meg teased.

" _I_ don't want him anyway" Cas grinned. 

"Okay, if you say so" 

It didn't bother Cas as much now to be teased about these things, it somehow made his poor love life better. 

He liked being able to talk like this with his best friend, after all her love life wasn't the best but it didn't seem to bother her, so why should it bother him? 

The rest of the way there they talked, well Meg talked most of the time. Cas liked to listen to her rant about all sorts of things she had on her mind. He would make a comment here and there but wouldn't talk as much. Her talking made the drive seem short even though they had driven a town over. 

His brother always left him a copy of the house key at the side of the porch buried under some dirt. He always thought it was a bit much but his brother loved to bother him. 

When they first walked in he noticed the house was still clean from the last time he was here. 

They both headed upstairs to grab his stuff. Meg began carrying down a box with his clothes. He carried the really heavy boxes, with books and a few dishes. 

He ended up taking his desk with him, after he figured out how to take it apart. 

Pretty soon they were done packing his things into both cars. 

Meg drove Gabriel's car and he drove his own. 

He typed in the address and drove there with Meg following behind him. 

Meg called him saying she wanted to use the restroom and since they were close to her apartment they headed there first. He pulled his phone out and texted Dean. He told him he was almost there. 

After Meg came back downstairs they continued their drive to Dean's house. His anxiety grew the closet they got. The palms of his hands began to sweat. 

_Maybe this isn't such a good idea anymore_ , he thought. What if he and Dean didn't get along, he might kick him out. What would he do then? He didn't want to be a pain, and bother his brother and friend. 

He shook his head, he wanted these thoughts as far away from him as possible. He had already agreed, if he chickened out now who would help out Dean. If he was going willing to let a guy he had never met live with him, that ment he didn't have anyone else to move in with him. 

He hated letting people close to him down, he couldn't imagine letting someone he didn't know down, he wouldn't be able to ever make it up. When he pulled up into the driveway he felt his heart beat faster. He was really nervous, and maybe even a bit anxious. He stepped out of the car, and opened the back door, it's gonna be okay, why am I even so nervous? He grabbed one of the lightest boxes in the back. He looked over and saw Meg do the same. She walked towards him smiling, "It's nice" 

Cas turned and for the first time he saw the house. 

It was beautiful, a really pale blue purple color, it looked old and homey. He smiled and nodded. They walked together up the porch. He admired the beautiful white window sills, and the wooden steps. 

"Hey" he heard Meg say, "It's gonna be alright Cas" 

He nodded and swallowed his throat beginning to feel dry. He stood in front of the door forgetting how to knock. He felt Meg bump into him. 

"You gonna knock?" she asked

"Oh, uh, yeah" he breathed out, somewhat loudly, and knocked three times. 

He took a step back standing next to Meg. Maybe he should have brought something to give to him, like a thank you gift? What if Dean thought he was inconsiderate? Maybe not bringing something would be the reason they started off on the wrong foot? He didn't want to mess up. 

He heard footsteps reach the door, and then saw the knob turn, he held his breath, nervous and sweating slightly on his forehead. 

The first thing he noticed when the door opened, were a pair of bright green eyes, staring widely at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still felt bad about the late update so I felt like I needed to make it up, now, all you need to wait for is their interaction!!  
> 💛💛


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally meets Castiel, the person he's gonna live with for a whole year. And he's already weirdly attracted to him.

He didn't know how long he was staring into the guys eyes. They were the bluest, most beautiful shade ever. He didn't realize he hadn't said anything until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Sam urged him forward. His feet seemed glued to the floor, he couldn't do anything but continue staring at him, Dean could see he was just as lost at him. 

He felt Jess brush beside him and then exclaim "Cas! it's been so long" she hugged him, which was hard to do considering he was carrying a box. 

Cas blinked a few times before drawing his attention from him to Jess. He smiled and leaned into the uncomfortable hug, Dean's heart may have beat just a bit louder than it already was. 

He couldn't deny Cas was cute. His hair was a bit messy, and the sweater he was wearing fit just a bit big making him look even cuter. He saw Cas stare at him again, and smile slightly. He smiled back, he hadn't even seen the dark haired girl standing beside him. 

She was also carrying a box, and she was standing a little too close to him. After Jess broke apart, she turned to him. 

"This is Dean, Dean this is Cas" she put her hand on his shoulder and with her eyes she pointed towards Cas. He walked forward and stuck his hand out. Cas stared at him blankly before sticking his hand out from under the box.

He smiled and said "Hello, Dean" his voice was gravely and something about it was soothing. 

He shook Castiel's hand and couldn't help but notice he seemed a bit nervous. His cheeks were somewhat red, he stared right into Dean's eyes, before moving them away. He seemed to be analyzing something on his face. Dean wondered what Castiel was looking at. 

Sam pushed him slightly and walked over to Castiel greeting him as well. He saw him take the box the dark haired girl was carrying. Jess and Sam headed back in first. 

Castiel turned to look at the woman and smiled at her. She smiled back and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. She was shorter than him so she had to stretch to be able to walk beside him. Dean felt his heart drop just a bit, he was confused as to why. 

She was probably his girlfriend, he tried to smile at them and asked "you guys coming or what?" Castiel grinned at him, and they locked eyes yet again. 

"If you're gonna let us in" she said.

She held out her hand "I'm Meg" she smiled at him very flirtatiously and playfully, it was confusing. He smiled and took her hand. 

They all walked inside and met Sam and Jess in the kitchen. Castiel was still holding the box, even as they were talking. 

"You can put the box down you know" he said.

Castiel smiled at him and nodded, "I was trying to decide where to put it, so it wouldn't be in the way" 

"I know where you can put it" Dean grabbed the other box on the kitchen counter and signaled at Castiel to follow him. He turned to look at Sam, telling him they'd be back soon. He walked up the stairs, Castiel following behind him.

When he reached the top he said, "So, I didn't know which room you'd prefer, and I wanted to let you choose". Dean showed him both rooms waiting for him to chose one.

Castiel chose the one at the beginning of the hall. They set the boxes down beside the closet door, Dean could tell he was smiling, without looking at his face, as he looked around the room. 

Castiel turned to face him, "Thank you, Dean" he said with a soft smile.

Dean felt very pleased with himself, and he didn't know why, he smiled in response and said "its no big deal" 

Castiel shook his head, "It is, this house is really beautiful, and you let me live here. I never imagined myself living in someplace so nice" he looked down, his smile faded and he seemed to get sad. 

Dean walked closer to him and put his hand on his shoulder. 

"Are you alright?" he asked. _He's probably getting sentimental over the move,_ Dean thought _._

"Yeah" he cleared his throat looking back up at him "Just thinking"

Dean felt like his gut had been punched, Castiel was on the verge of crying and he didn't know why, he didn't know what he could do to help. 

He was so confused, why did he care so much all of a sudden for someone he didn't know. What he did know was that he didn't like seeing Cas's eyes sad and tearful, they were meant to be smiling and shining, the beautifullest shade of blue.

He smiled at him and said "I know it's beautiful enough to cry over too" it made Cas smile just a bit, making Dean feel better too. 

Cas wiped his eyes and said "It really is" his cheeks were a very light shade of pink. After a little while they walked back down stairs, to meet the others.

Dean saw Meg laughing, along with Jess and his brother. Dean had actually forgotten about her for a minute, and when he saw her walk over to Castiel and put her hand on his shoulder it bothered him. 

It seemed she knew he was about to cry too, she whispered something to him and then gave his shoulder a squeeze. 

Dean tried to not pay attention to her, he got this strange feeling in his stomach everytime he saw them so close. 

"Hey, Cas? Want some help bringing your stuff inside?" Sam said walking closer to Castiel. 

"Yeah, if you guys want to help" he said.

"Of course we do right Dean?" Sam said, raising his eyebrow at Dean. 

"Yep" Dean gave him glare, _what?_ Cas and Meg walked down the hall, Jess followed after them. Sam walked over to him and put put his hand on Dean's shoulder while walking with him outside.

"You're too obvious" Sam whispered.

 _"Obvious?_ About what?" Dean asked.

"Come on dude, I'm not blind, I picked up on it from the minute you opened the door."

Dean still didn't understand. "I have no _idea_ , what you're talking about" He turned to look at his brother.

Sam raised his eyebrow, "Your clearly attracted to the guy, but I think that's his girlfriend, so maybe don't be to obvious" 

Dean scoffed, "'I'm _not_ , and we don't know that for sure" 

"Sure, whatever" Sam said, chuckling.

"'I'm not'" Dean protested, he thought about it and maybe that's why he was feeling the way he was. He hadn't been attracted towards anyone since he broke up with the jerkwad, Lee. He promised himself he would focus on love later, but it had been a year and maybe now was a good time to start. But still, maybe Meg was his girlfriend and he couldn't be attracted to him. He didn't want to take him from her, because that's what happened to him and he hated it. 

"Are you guys gonna come help or what?" Jess yelled from outside. 

"Yeah, we're coming" Sam shouted back. 

He tried not to think about the past, because the last thing he wanted was to start thinking about Lee. He pushed away his unwanted thoughts, and walked outside. 

He saw Castiel and Meg talking, they were busy working on getting the boxes out of the car's trunk, and back seats. He saw Meg pick up a box and make her way towards the house. She grinned at him as she walked past him. Dean was confused, why did it look like she kept flirting with him? but at the same time just teasing him? She was weird. 

He walked toward Cas, he saw he was struggling to take a box out from the trunk "Want some help with that?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, thanks" he said and together they got the box out, it was actually pretty heavy. 

"What do you have in here" he had barely started holding the box and already his arms were getting tired. 

"Dishes" Castiel said with a smile. 

"Wow, I didn't think you'd come this prepared" he put the box down for a second. 

"It's pretty heavy, I uh-didn't know if you would be rather picky about sharing things so I wanted to bring some of my own stuff" 

"He is" Sam said holding two boxes in each arm, "he hates sharing, he's a monster" Dean heard Jess giggle behind Sam. 

"Yep, he keeps the coffee machine all to himself" she said smiling. They both walked away laughing.

"It's kinda true, but I don't see why I can't share with you" he grinned, picking up the box and walking back inside the house. 

They kept some boxes downstairs and carried the ones with his clothes and books upstairs. Dean wondered why he had so many. He didn't think anyone would own that many books, except for Sam. 

After they had finished they sat in the living room. Dean handed everyone a beer, he wasn't sure if Castiel drank, but when he saw him take the lid off with his hand, he was certain he drank. 

Castiel placed the top of his beer to his mouth. He lifted his head to drink, exposing quite a bit of his neck. Dean swallowed, _Damn_ he thought. He watched as a drop of beer dripped down the side of his mouth to his jaw. He had the sudden urge to lick it off him. He couldn't take his eyes off Castiel's throat and how it worked to swallow the beer he was drinking. He looked so hot, Dean felt his face getting hotter by the minute, and his breath just a bit deeper. "Dean?" he felt Sam tap his shoulder, he shook his head. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He asked himself, he looked over at his brother who had his eyebrow raised. 

"What?" He asked. 

"I asked, if you still wanted to continue painting" 

"Oh, uh yeah but you guys can go ahead and hangout" he opened his beer and drank it, his mouth had suddenly gotten dry. He felt someone staring at him and looked to find Castiel's eyes on him. He was smiling slightly a little shyly. _Fuck, did he catch me staring? Shit, what's wrong with me?_ Dean smiled back, trying hard not to freak out. 

Castiel cleared his throat, "What kind of person would I be if I let you do all the painting"

Dean grinned, "Hope you're not afraid of getting a little dirty" he felt his heart drop, he only realized how sexual that sounded after he had said it. 

Castiel laughed "Not really" he was smiling and it made Dean relax a bit. He saw that everyone one the couch was staring at them, Meg seemed to be blushing. He cleared his throat trying to cover up his smile, and got up from the chair he was sitting on. 

"Well, are you guys gonna help or not" 

By the end of the day, most of the house was painted. The only things left to paint were the rooms downstairs in the basement, and the other two guests bedrooms. They were sitting in the living room talking when the doorbell rang. 

Dean looked over at Sam, and shrugged in confusion. He wasn't expecting anyone this late, he walked down the hall and opened the door. A guy stood outside his door holding a few pizza boxes. 

"I didn't order any pizza" Dean said, his stomach growled as he smelled the pizza, he had actually forgotten about eating, which was weird. 

He heard someone walking down the hall, he turned to find Castiel, standing beside him. 

"Here you go" he said handing the man two twenty dollar bills. The man took it and handed him the boxes, he smiled and walked down the porch. 

"Hope you didn't have any dinner plans" he said looking at Dean. 

Dean chuckled, "Nah, thank you, you didn't have to" 

Castiel smiled at him widely, the porch lit up his face in such a beautiful way, making his blue eyes seem to glow. Dean's heart beat faster, and he smiled at him too. He looked away from his eyes to his lips. He wanted to kiss him so fucking badly, it was hard for him to hold back. 

Then he remembered he already had a girlfriend and he stepped back a bit. His smile shrank. 

They stood there, quietly staring at one another. His eyes had found their way back at Castiel's. It didn't help that Castiel was staring at him softly. He had such a beautiful smile Dean thought. The way a smile formed on the corners of his mouth was beautiful. He took in a deep breath calming his beating heart. The smell of pizza filled the air. And his stomach growled again. This seemed to help Dean lose eye contact with Castiel, remembering he was standing there holding the four pizza boxes on his own. 

"Need some help?" he asked. 

"Sure" Dean took two of the boxes from him, and closed the door behind them. 

After dinner they hung out in the living room for a while longer before Jess, Sam and Meg left. Cas walked with Meg to the hallway, they talked for some time. They were probably making out in the hall, Dean thought and he didn't want to interrupt. After Cas walked back into the living room he began cleaning up. 

"You don't have to do that" Dean said.

"I don't mind" he smiled at him and picked up the trash. Dean walked behind, he tried not to stare at his ass, because man was it right in front of him. He quickly walked next to him and picked up the pizza boxes. They finished and headed upstairs together. They reached the top of the stairs, and stood there for a second. Dean had no idea why he kept looking at his eyes, there was some sort of pull that he couldn't ignore. 

He smiled and said, "Night Cas" he had no idea when he had started called him that. It felt right and he hoped he didn't mind. 

"Night Dean" he said. 

Dean was in bed, he had finished getting ready and was lying there looking up at the ceiling, he could still hear Cas's deep rough voice saying his name as he fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) 💛💛


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finally moves into his new home, and finally meets the guy he's wondered all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning!! Second chapter of the week. Enjoy!

Castiel, hadn't heard his heart beat this loudly. It was all he could hear, as he stared into the green eyes of the man standing in front of him. He felt his eyes glued to his. He could see the way Dean was looking at him, and he knew he was staring back just the same, he wanted to say something but he felt very shy at that moment. Dean's gaze wasn't harsh, but Cas felt like he was looking into his soul.

He could feel his friend's eyes on him, but he just couldn't bring himself to look away from him, the pull was too strong. He heard his name, and then felt two arms wrap around his shoulders. Cas blinked a few times, finally being able to look away. He leaned into the hug, even if it wasn't all that comfortable and he smiled. 

Jess's wavy blonde hair blocked his view, she shifted and he was able to see, green again. He smiled this time, and he got a smile back too. It seemed they were now both able to do more than just stare at each other. 

Jess let go of him, she faced Dean and introduced them both, Dean stuck his hand out, Cas was looking at his eyes again, he realized he still hadn't taken his hand. 

He shook it, "Hello, Dean" he said. 

Dean smiled at him again and shook his hand as well. Dean's hands were rough and had quite a grip. He could feel the warmth emitting from them, making his cheeks feel warm too. He looked away from his eyes and saw tiny specks on his face. 

He had freckles, and they complemented his green eyes well, his jaw was sharp like it could cut through anything. His lips were plump and had a tiny bit of saliva that made them shine. Cas blushed again, _why am I paying so much attention to him_? he asked himself. He knew he was staring for way too long so he formed a smile. He looked away and saw a tall man approaching him. 

He recognized him as Sam, Jess's fiancee. He took Cas's hand and shook it vigorously. Cas smiled, Sam turned his attention to Meg. 

"Let me take that from you" he said, Meg nodded and gave him the box. Cas turned to look at her. She smiled and winked. Meg reached up to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulder. He turned to see Dean's smile fade and turn slightly into a frown. 

He smiled again, still looking a bit hurt, he turned to walk inside and said "You guys coming or what?" 

"If you're gonna let us in" Meg said. She introduced herself and they walked inside the house. 

"I told you he would be cute" Meg whispered, walking beside him.

He was still carrying the box, when they walked into the kitchen. From what he could see the house was pretty big. It was really nice, and he felt a bit of joy knowing he would be living here for a bit. They were in the kitchen talking, he felt Dean look at him again. He grinned and said he could put the box down. Cas said he didn't know where. 

Dean smiled, he took him upstairs, he didn't mean to look at his ass, it was accidental. He watched him go up the stairs and when Dean reached the top, he turned without a warning. Cas knew his cheeks were red, he smiled nervously. He turned his attention back to Dean's face. 

Dean told him he could choose the room he wanted to stay in. He chose the one at the beginning of the hall. 

When they were inside they put the boxes down beside the closet door. Cas looked around at the room. He smiled, it was such a nice place. It smelled like wood and it was a pretty big. He admired the big window. The way the light shined through it and lit up the room brought back painful memories. 

His mind started to drift, and he began thinking of stuff he didn't want too. He turned around to face Dean, maybe if he looked at him he could forget again. He thanked him. Dean answered him, he was being sincere and for some reason the tone of his voice only made it harder. He looked down because he knew it was too late, he was already remembering.

Memories of his boyfriend flooded back. He remembered living with him. He remembered how happy he was with him. He remembered their room, how every morning they would wake up next to each other. How the light shined on his face, and he felt a warm feeling spread throughout him, how his body felt against his. How every morning he would tell Cas he loved him. How he believed it everytime. And how in the end, it meant nothing, he knew his eyes were swelling up with tears. He didn't want to cry, not in front of Dean. He didn't want him to see him like that, especially since they didn't even know each other. He didn't want things to be awkward.

He felt Dean place his hand on his shoulder, and ask if he was alright. 

"Yeah" he replied, keeping his voice steady, he looked up at him on instinct. _Damn it_ , he thought, as he realized he had forgotten to wipe his tears.

He cleared his throat "Just thinking"

He could see the look of concern in Dean's eyes, and how he managed a smile. 

Cas felt that, that smile cheered him up a bit. Dean joked with him, making him laugh. 

His smile widened, and his heart skipped a beat. _God_ , he was such a baby, and he was so embarrassed. He wiped his eyes, he wanted to thank him for the joke, he had just said. Because even if it didn't mean that much, it helped.

They walked back downstairs.

He saw Meg laughing and then she turned to look at him, she walked closer. 

"What's wrong?" she asked. 

"I kinda cried in front of him" Cas whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's alright" he said, she gave his shoulder a squeeze and nodded. 

Sam asked if he wanted help bringing his stuff in and he didn't turn him down. He and Meg headed back outside again. Jess followed them, he saw Sam walk over to Dean telling him something.

Jess pulled away his attention asking him how he'd been. 

"So your a teacher?" She asked walking over to Gabriel's car, she helped Meg take out the boxes. 

"Kind of, yeah" he said. 

"That's cool"

"Meg's studying to become a nurse too, you know" Cas said.

"Really?" Jess turned to look at Meg.

Cas heard them talking about being nurses. He turned to find Meg laughing along with Jess. He smiled. Seeing his best friend, becoming friends with Jess was great. He turned back to sort out the stuff in the trunk of his car. 

Meg walked over to him, "Your friend's cool" she said. 

"Yeah, she is, I have this other friend, she's pretty great too" 

"Thank you" 

"Oh, I was talking about someone else" 

"Haha"

He heard Jess yell at Sam and Dean who were still inside. Meg grabbed one of the boxes, and turned around to walk inside the house. He tried to pull out the box of dishes he had brought, but it had gotten stuck. 

He looked up and saw Dean walk towards him, he helped him grab the box. He learned that Dean loved coffee, maybe a little too much. Dean said he didn't mind sharing with him though and for some reason that comment made his heart jump. 

After they were done moving his boxes into the house they sat in the living room. 

Dean walked to the kitchen and came back with a few beer bottles. He took his beer and opened it with his bare hand, he used to drink a lot to forget his problems and opening bottles without the need of a bottle cap opener was just a trick he'd learned.

He took a long drink, it had been a while since he had a beer. And after crying in front of Dean, he needed this to loosen up a bit. He heard Sam talking, but he managed to drain out most of the sound, focusing on the beer. He closed his eyes, taking in its bitter taste. He felt how cool it was and he remembered the familiar taste it left behind on his tongue after swallowing. He drank once more and sighed through his nose, he felt a drop escape his lips. He could feel it making it's way down his jaw. He felt eyes on him, he lowered his head. He saw everyone was staring at Dean and Dean's face actually seemed a bit red. Dean was staring at him. 

He was confused but didn't say anything. Dean answered Sam's question, he looked a bit flustered. Cas thought Dean looked good blushing. He watched as he drank his beer, drinking more than half in one go. 

Cas got to paint his room, while everyone else worked on the rest of the house. When he was finished he went outside and helped Meg with the restroom. He called a pizza place nearby and ordered a few pizzas for everyone. He hoped they didn't have dinner plans because he didn't want Meg to end up eating it all. 

Dean said he would finish the basement later, and they sat in the living room all tired. When the doorbell rang he saw Dean get up to answer it. He dug through his pockets for the 40 dollars he had. He walked up behind Dean. He paid for their food and turned to look at him. He was standing there looking confused. 

Cas locked eyes with him, and he couldn't bring himself to look away, again. He could hear his heartbeat speed up, the way Dean looked at him, made a chill run down his spine. He was looking at his face again. He saw the way the light from outside lit up his face. How the shadows played on his face. How his green eyes shined and how his freckles looked so good on him. He had the urge to run his fingers through Dean's hair for some reason. It was messy and probably a bit sweaty, and he could smell wood and paint on him, it was like that smell was made just for him. 

He could smell the pizza too, but Dean's smell was stronger. He knew they were leaning in pretty close now but, he didn't want to move away. He took in another breath of Dean and pizza. He didn't know he was smiling like a total dork. 

Cas was sure if they had spent anymore time looking at each other, the gap between them might have been closed, thankfully they were saved by the sound of Dean's stomach. 

He looked away from him, and he could hear his heart ringing his ears. He calmed himself down, _trying_ to thinking about other things rather than Dean. Dean offered to help him and they walked back inside. He sighed, _jesus, what the hell was that?_ He didn't want Dean to feel pressured by him, and feel awkward around him. He promised himself not to get too lost in Dean so they wouldn't didn't end up doing something he wasn't ready for.

They walked into the room and ate, Cas was a calmer now, he tried not making so much eye contact with Dean while they talked. 

Cas made sure Meg didn't drink too much since she was going to drive herself home. 

Cas wanted to get to know Dean better and he learned quite a bit about him. After Sam and Jess left, Meg was the only one left. 

She walked towards Cas, and Cas walked with her down the hall. 

"You really hit the jackpot Clarence" 

"Yeah, yeah, are you sure you'll be okay to drive?"

"Yep, don't worry"

"Be careful alright?" 

"Yes, dad" she leaned in and gave him a hug, he hugged her back tightly too. Meg whispered in his ear, "You'd better be careful too"

Cas chuckled, "Nothing's going to happen" 

"Sure, just, use protection"

"Yes mom" 

They hugged one last time, before he finished walking Meg down the hall. He stood by the door and watched as she got in the car. He waved goodbye as she left the driveway. 

Cas walked back to the living room and saw Dean was in the kitchen, he walked towards the coffee table and started to clear it. He felt Dean walk beside him. 

"You, don't have to do that" Dean said.

"I don't mind" he smiled, Dean began helping him. When they were finished Dean turned off all the downstairs lights and they both walked upstairs.

When they got to the top, they stopped and looked at each other again. 

"Night Cas" 

He didn't know when Dean had begun calling him that, but he didn't mind at all. There was some sort of ring to it when _he_ said it. He smiled. 

"Goodnight, Dean" 

They both walked into their rooms on the opposite side of the hall. 

Cas pulled out a sleeping bag he had brought. He didn't bring a mattress because he didn't even have one, he decided that was his top priority tomorrow after work. _Shoot,_ he thought, he was so busy moving in he had forgotten about work. He set his alarm and then walked out of his room to brush his teeth.

Afterwards he lay there quietly trying to sleep. He closed his eyes and again he heard Dean saying his name. He fell asleep smiling, thinking about the man with the bright green eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive my unscheduled posting schedule. I'm a very busy person and sometimes the only time I have time to post is at night and other times its during the morning. If you'd like to leave a suggestion on what time you prefer I post I wouldn't mind trying to make it fit.   
>  Thanks for reading! :>


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spending time with Cas and making dinner? Two things Dean couldn't like more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9!!! :D I really like this chapter hope you do to.

Dean was at the top of the stairs when he smelled food. 

_Bacon?_

He walked down the stairs rubbing his eyes. When he got to the bottom he walked through the archway in the kitchen, he saw Cas over at the stove. He was cooking bacon. He was dressed nicely, from what Dean could see from the back. 

Cas turned around, he smiled, "Morning, Dean" 

Cas was wearing a white, long sleeve, button down shirt. He was wearing a blue tie, and black dress pants. It looked just a bit big around his arms. He looked good. Dean couldn't help but notice the way his hair was just a bit messy, like he tried several times to comb it but it didn't stay put.

He smiled back at him, "Morning Cas" he walked over to the coffee machine, he grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He saw a mug on the breakfast bar, it was empty. 

"Want another cup" he asked Cas. 

Cas was cooking some more pieces of bacon, he turned his head slightly and nodded. 

"Yeah, thanks" he turned back to watch the bacon. 

Dean smiled, _guess Cas likes coffee just as much as me,_ he thought.

He filled Cas's mug first before filling his own. Cas was placing the pieces of bacon on two plates. There were eggs and toast on them too. 

Dean walked closer to him, his eyebrow raised. 'Where had he gotten all that stuff from?' He put the mugs beside them. 

"Uh, do you not like what I made?" Cas asked. 

"Oh, it's not that, I was just wondering where you got all the food from" Dean said, he sat down on one of the stools. 

Cas sat in front of him. 

He smiled "oh, okay" and drank from his coffee, "I woke up early today since it's my first day on the job, and I came downstairs to see what I could make for breakfast," he drank from his coffee again "when I opened the refrigerator there was nothing so, I went out and did some grocery shopping" he grabbed his toast and bit into it. 

Dean watched him carefully, he watched the way his mouth moved. He saw a few crumbs the bread had left behind on his lips. He licked his own lips as Cas licked his clean. Cas looked at him, he blushed. Dean looked away, _what the hell?_ He nervously tapped on the side of his mug. He looked back up, he saw Cas was now picking at his eggs.

 _Crap,_ he must have made him uncomfortable. 

"Well there's no problem with me if you want to buy your own food." he said, he hoped that had lightened the mood a bit. 

Cas looked at him again and smiled, "I don't mind sharing either" his cheeks were a bit pink. _Jesus Cas, if you keep smiling at me like that_ -, Dean stopped, why was he thinking that. He gave Cas a small smile, he thought about asking him something to keep his mind off of whatever he was thinking. 

"So what's the job?" he asked, he grabbed a piece of bacon and bit off half of it. 

"I'm teaching at a local college" he said, he ate some of his breakfast. 

"So you're a teacher?" 

"Kind of, I won't be working full time like an actual professor or anything, it's just to help kids earn extra credit for their classes"

"That's cool" Dean said, his mouth full of food. Cas chuckled. 

"What?" Dean asked. 

"Nothing, you just remind me of Meg" 

Dean swallowed, he had forgotten about his girlfriend. He forced a smile, for some reason bringing her up made his stomach feel weird. 

"I didn't think anyone ate just like her, sometimes she's super messy. Can't believe I'm talking behind my best friend's back like this" 

Dean swallowed, _his best friend?_ He reached for his mug of coffee. He felt a sudden wave of relief, Meg wasn't his girlfriend after all. He didn't know it, but he was smiling widely. His heart felt like it was beating so fast it would pop out of his chest. He drank from his coffee and tried remaining calm. He and Cas continued talking, getting to know each other a bit better. 

Cas ate his breakfast fast because he didn't want to get to work late. 

"See you later Dean" he said grabbing his one strap book bag. 

"See ya" he said. 

He finished his breakfast and headed back upstairs to get ready for work. He was combing his hair when Cas's words replayed in his head. 

_She was just his best friend, that meant Cas didn't have anyone, maybe?_ Dean didn't understand why this fact made him so happy. It's not like it was a big deal, but for some reason it was, to him. He finished getting ready and then went downstairs. He grabbed his jacket and keys before heading out. 

He left one of the spare keys in the mailbox. He had forgotten to give it to Cas and he wasn't sure when Cas was going to be back from work. He pulled out his phone and texted him.

DEAN: hey I left one of the spare keys in the mailbox forgot to give it to you 

He put his phone away and walked to his car. He drove to work still smiling from earlier. It was his turn to check the inventory so he spent half the day making sure they had enough supplies and writing up orders for what they were missing. Afterwards they had their lunch break. 

"Sounds real nice Dean" Bobby said, he ate some of his chili. 

"Yeah, you know when you'll be free to come check it out?" Dean asked. 

"Was thinking about going over today" 

"We could have dinner" Dean suggested. 

Bobby smiled and nodded before he drank from his bottle of grape soda. Sam smiled at Dean also drinking from his soda. 

"I guess you can come over too" Dean said, taking a bite from his cheeseburger. 

"Gee, thanks, oh, Jess won't be able to make it though"

"Why?" 

"She's covering someone else's shift" 

"Guess you can take her leftovers" The phone rang, Bobby got up to answer it, a few feet away from the table. 

"What are you even going to make?" Sam whispered. 

"I have no idea, I hadn't even thought about it"

"Well better come up with something, and it better not be take out" 

Dean scoffed, what was he going to make? He knew how to cook, he just didn't know what to make. He also very rarely cooked, it was mostly for himself and it always seemed so sad to him. He'd figure it out later, right now he wanted focus on eating his food. Bobby came back to finish eating. 

They finished their food and headed back to work. Dean had a couple cars to fix after he had finished putting in the orders. One of the cars had a sputtering engine, it took some time to fix the Dirty spark plug, he decided it was best to switch it out with a new one, seeing as how dirty it was. 

He moved on to the second car. This one was a bit easier, the air conditioning wasn't working. After starting up the car to make sure that it wasn't just a delaying problem he checked the system. He found a leak and after fixing it the air conditioning it started working again. He smiled and closed the hood. 

He walked inside the house and towards the kitchen sink. It was late afternoon and the sun was going to go down soon. He felt hot, he splashed water on his face and dried it with the sleeve of his suit. He turned and leaned on his back against the sink. He heard the door open and saw Sam walk in. He was sweaty and out of breath. 

"What happened to you?" Dean asked. 

"Just finished rolling the big truck tires in the shed" he opened the refrigerator and pulled out a water bottle. 

"Have you thought about dinner?" Sam asked, drinking from the water. 

It had completely escaped his mind, he thought for a second and smiled. 

"I can just search up what to make" he said, pulling out his phone. He held the power button waiting for it to start up. He usually turned it off during work so he wouldn't get distracted. 

His phone buzzed, and notifications began popping up on his phone lock screen. He saw one of them was a message from Cas. 

He opened it and read it. 

CAS: oh thanks, I remember I didn't have keys for the house when I arrived at work

Dean smiled and wrote back 

DEAN: of course it was my bad anyway 

Dean felt bad for not answering sooner, Cas had texted him about 6 hours ago. He hoped Cas didn't think he was ignoring him. So he asked him something instead. 

DEAN: just wanted to ask, do you know how to cook? 

DEAN: also sorry if I seemed to lag, I usually shut my phone off during work

Dean waited patiently, _he's probably busy,_ he thought, he put his phone down on the kitchen counter. He felt it buzz, and immediately picked it up again. 

CAS: It's okay, also yes I do why?

DEAN: okay, so I said I'd make dinner but I have no idea what to make, can you help a friend out?

Dean realized he wrote friend after he had sent it, it wasn't like he didn't like him as a friend but maybe Cas would think it was weird. Dean thought about deleting the message but he might have seen it already and he also didn't want to hurt his feelings like that either.

CAS: Of course!! Sometimes it helps to know what they like to eat? 

DEAN: pretty sure they eat everything, Sam eats salads though that part might be a bit hard

CAS: Haha, I happen to like salads too, just not all the time

DEAN: I'm not a fan of healthy "food" either

CAS: I hear you, and I know someone who might be able to relate a lot more than me

DEAN: I like them already, I just can't live of rabbit food, I don't know how Sam does it

CAS: XD

Dean laughed, he felt eyes on him and looked to his side. Sam was looking at him, he looked confused. 

"What?" Dean asked. 

"Who're you texting?" he asked inching closer to Dean. 

"Nobody" 

Sam raised an eyebrow. 

"It's just Cas" 

Both of his eyebrows were up now, and his eyes widened slowly.

"Dean" 

"'What?'" he asked again. 

"I thought you said you didn't like him" 

"I-I don't," Dean felt a pit form in his stomach, he felt weird for a minute, it was the feeling he got whenever he lied. Then he remembered why Sam was looking at him the way he was, he still thought Meg was Cas's girlfriend. 

"She's not his girlfriend, you know" he watched Sam's expression change from confusion to surprise. 

"Huh, I guess it was my bad for assuming" he smiled at Dean.

Dean knew what that smile meant. He smiled back and nodded. 

"So what are you talking about anyway" he asked. 

"I was asking about dinner suggestions" 

He felt his phone buzz, and looked back down at it. 

CAS: I guess maybe you could make some type of pasta, they go good with salads (for Sam) 

Dean chuckled and wrote

DEAN: Awesome thanks, I'll definitely make Sam eat the salad alone. 

CAS: Anytime

DEAN: It's been a long time since I've cooked, want to help me?

DEAN: You don't have too though 

CAS: I'd love to help

"Hey, boys! If you wanna leave soon I suggest coming to give me a hand" 

Sam and Dean looked at each other and made their way outside. Dean sent Cas a message. 

DEAN: awesome, thanks, I gotta go now, see you at home :)

CAS: :3

Dean smiled and slipped his phone in his pocket, he caught up to his brother and they both helped Bobby get ready to call it a night. 

Dean couldn't believe that Cas had gone out to buy everything they needed to make dinner. 

"You could have told me to get the stuff" 

"I didn't mind doing it" he smiled and started taking the stuff out of the bags. 

"Well I'm already making you cook with me, I just don't want you to do so much" Dean said. 

"Its honestly not a big deal" he gave Dean one of the most warm smiles he had ever seen. Dean felt his chest warm at the sight of Cas's face. He looked away. 

"Uh, okay" he said, he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Cas smiled and nodded. He turned around and continued getting everything out of the bags. 

Dean walked over to the kitchen cabinet and pulled out the only pot he had. It was old and rusty, but it still worked well. He just hadn't used it in a long time. He walked to the sink and filled it with water and put it on the stove. 

"What type of pasta are we making?" Dean asked. 

Cas turned to face him and handed him a bag of uncooked pasta. Dean opened the bag of penne and poured it into the water. Dean remembered it was Cas's first day on the job. He wanted to ask him about it so they could have something to talk about. 

"How was work?" Dean asked. 

"Uh, it was good" Cas said. He was washing a few tomatoes in the sink. 

"That's good, anything exciting happen?" 

"Well, the amount of people staring at me was unbelievable, it was kinda stressful actually" 

"Why?" 

"Don't know, I would catch them staring and then they'd give me some really weird smile, and look away before looking back, it just seemed to much to handle" 

Dean, felt his stomach turn. He also wanted to laugh, just a little. Clearly they were flirting with him and he had no idea. Dean chuckled. 

"What is it?" Cas asked. 

"Nothing" 

"Okay, mind getting the onions, garlic and butter?"

Dean grabbed them, he walked to where he was and handed them to him. 

"What are you going to make with this?" 

"Some very delicious pasta sauce" 

"Cool, mind if I help?" 

"Not at all, you can mush the tomatoes" 

"What? How?"

"With this?" Cas handed him a rock looking thing. He also handed him a bowl that seemed to be made out of stone. 

"I'll show you" he took a tomato and after cutting it in half he began smashing it with the rock. 

"Wow, you're good at this?" Cas grinned, "I know, I'm awesome" 

Dean chuckled, Cas really was, _awesome_. He took the rock from him and tried smushing the other half. The juice from the tomato squirted on his face. Cas laughed. Dean couldn't help but laugh too. Cas's laugh sounded so nice, and his big smile made Dean's heart beat just a bit louder. He stuck his tongue out, making Cas chuckle.

"So childish" he said. 

"Yeah, yeah" he continued making the tomatoes into mush. 

Cas pulled out a pan and set it on the stove and poured some oil on it. He copped half an onion. He cut it into smaller bits. Then he took out a bag with meat in it and put it on the pan. He walked over to Dean, and chopped the other half of the onion. 

"How was your day?" he asked. 

"It was good, same as every other day" 

"Good" 

Cas wiped his eyes, the onion was making his eyes watery. Dean chuckled. 

"Do you like cooking?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, it helps me keep my mind off of things and I love being able to make something that makes others happy." 

"That's awesome Cas" 

"Yeah, I stopped cooking for a while but before I used to do it every day and every time I did it made me feel happy, I used to cook for-" Cas stopped.

His eyes grew sad and his smile faded. He blinked a few times and cleared his throat. 

"Uh, you done with the tomatoes?" he asked. 

Dean's heartfelt like it broke, he could see Cas forcing a smile. He smiled at him too, he had no idea why Cas had gotten sad, but he didn't like it at all. Dean pushed the stone bowl forward he had finished smashing most of the tomatoes. 

"Yeah, want help with the meat?" 

"Sure" 

Dean walked over to the sizzling meat and moved it around so it wouldn't get burned. Cas stood behind him, and added the tiny chopped onions along with some salt. He was so close to Dean, he could smell the cologne of of him, he also smelled his hair for a second. There was something soothing about Cas's smell. He was being to feel nervous with Cas standing close to him. He scooted over a bit, he didn't want to get overwhelmed with feelings, he was so confused, he didn't know why he felt so weird.

"What's something you really like?" Dean asked. He wanted something else to do other than thinking about why his heart was racing being do close to him. 

"I really like bees and sunflowers" 

"Knew you were gonna say bees, cause of your mug" 

Cas smiled, "What about you?" 

"My car" Dean said with a smile. 

"She _is_ beautiful" Cas said, smiling wider.

"How'd you know she's a she?" 

"She seems like it"

"Yeah, her name's baby"

"I think that name suits her well" 

Dean smiled, Cas gave him one his beautiful warm smiles, that made his cheeks light up. Dean could feel his cheeks warming up too, Cas was really something. 

They both finished making the sauce and cooking the meat. They drained the pasta before putting everything together. Dean could tell Cas really liked to cook, he was so focused when seasoning everything. He even heard him hum a bit when he was stirring the sauce. 

When they were finished Cas made the salad while Dean set up the plates. He hadn't gotten a table yet so they would have to eat at the breakfast bar. Dean smiled he could hear Cas humming again. He was washing a few of the dishes they had used, Dean's cheeks actually hurt from all the smiling he was doing. He could hear his low voice in his head, and he smiled even more, he thought about how he no longer had to spend time alone. He would have someone else with him, and he was glad it was Cas, because he couldn't think of anyone else at that moment. 

Bobby and Cas had been talking most of the time. While Cas wasn't looking Bobby would turn to look at Dean and give him a small smile. Dean would nod, because he knew what Bobby was thinking.

Cas was great, the best person he'd ever met, apart from being incredibly attractive, he had a great personality. He was easy to talk to and easy to make laugh. 

After dinner they went into the living room and watched a movie. Sam kept eyeing him, because he and Cas had sat very close together. It wasn't like he had meant for it to happen, it just did, and he didn't mind at all. He was able smell the faint cologne off of him again. Their knees would occasionally touch making Dean smile. 

It was around 9 when Bobby and Sam left. Dean walked them to the door and they said their goodbyes. 

Cas packed Sam a big Tupperware full of leftovers for Jess. He also sent him the rest of the salad, it turned out that only Sam had eaten from it. 

Dean and Cas cleaned up again and just like the night before they said their goodbyes at the top of the stairs. Dean went to bed feeling full and happy. He fell asleep thinking about Cas, about the way he smiled and blushed, his laugh. Then he remembered how Cas had become sad, and for some reason it made him sad too. He didn't want to see him sad at all, he wanted him to be happy and he knew he could help with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll be uploading earlier in the day, instead of at night.  
> Thank you for reading :3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas doesn't think he can handle the looks he get from everyone at work, he is stressed out and luckly making dinner with Dean can help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo chapter 10!!!

Cas woke up five minutes before his alarm rang. He was so nervous about walking up late that he kept waking up every hour while sleeping. And even though he hadn't gotten much sleep he didn't feel tired. 

He got up and got in the shower. He made sure to not take a long time because he knew he lost track of time sometimes while he was in there.

After his shower he got dressed quickly and walked downstairs quietly. He knew for a fact Dean was still sleeping and waking him up was the last thing he wanted to do.

He wanted to see if there was anything to make breakfast with. He checked the cabinets they were empty. So was the refrigerator. All that was in there were some beer bottles, and two leftover slices of pizza. 

Cas chuckled _guess he doesn't eat at home a lot_ he thought. He checked the time and saw there was still an hour before he had to be at work. He grabbed his jacket and keys in the hall and drove to an open grocery store.

He bought eggs, ham, milk, bacon, and bread. He also got himself a carton of mango nectar. He was super quiet when he came inside. 

He started by making some scrambled eggs. He grabbed his favorite coffee mug, it had a little bee right in the middle. He started up Dean's coffee machine. 

After he made himself some coffee and was drinking it, he remembered Jess had said he didn't like to share his coffee machine. He bit his lip, _maybe if I make him breakfast too, he won't hate me?_ He made sure he made enough eggs for both of them. He also put some bread in his toaster and added a bit of butter to both of them. He took out the bacon from the bag and began cooking three strips. He was so focused on not letting them get burnt, he didn't even realize when Dean had woken up, except for the feeling that he was being stared at.

"Morning Dean" he said turning around to place the bacon on a plate. He was right, Dean was awake and he was staring at him in a way he knew it could only be him. 

Dean was in a robe and had matching gray slippers. He had on a black t-shirt fitting him just a bit tight around his chest. His hair was messy, it was all over the place. His green eyes glistened in the sunlight from the window. Cas felt his heart begin to beat faster. He wanted to turn around so he wouldn't _inspect_ Dean the way he was. But he also didn't want it to come across as being rude. He could feel Dean's eyes still on him. He wanted to say good morning again thinking Dean hadn't heard him when he said "Morning Cas" 

He smiled, again the way Dean said his name sounded so good to him. He turned back around to cook some more bacon. Dean asked if he wanted another cup, and since he _was_ offering he figured why not. 

Dean looked at the plate of food when he put it down infront of him, his eyebrows furrowed. 

_Crap,_ Cas thought, _What if he doesn't like what I made, I didn't think about that._ Cas nervously asked him if he didn't like what he made and when Dean answered that wasn't it, he felt a wave of relief. He had terrible anxiety, and he didn't want to piss Dean off right when they were just beginning to be familiar with one another. 

They sat on either side of the breakfast bar and Cas told Dean all about his morning, while eating their food. Dean stared at him for a while, in a way that didn't help his blushing issue. Dean looked away, so did he, if Dean kept looking at him like that he might just turn as red as a tomato forever. 

Cas tried breathing in deeply, calming himself down. 

"So you like bees?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, how'd you know?" 

"I saw the bee on your mug" he said, pointing at it. 

Cas nodded and chuckled slightly, "What about you, do you like any animals?" he asked. 

"Well, I'm allergic to cats, I don't like dogs all that much, but I guess their okay" 

"Do you have any breed that you like best?" 

"Uh, I guess german shepherds are cool" 

Cas nooded, "I think border collies are nice" 

They looked at each other right in the eyes again, it was clearly something Cas needed to work on _not_ doing. It made him think deeply about Dean, and he was afraid of what it could mean. He and Dean talked some more before Cas had checked the time on his phone and realized it was getting late. 

He got up and placed his dishes in the sink. He grabbed his book bag he left beside him on the stool. He turned to face Dean, he smiled and said his goodbye. Dean said his too, Cas smiled even wider as he walked out of the house into his car. 

He was still smiling as he drove to the college, he couldn't stop thinking about the way Dean smiled and stared at him. Dean was being nice to him and he was taking it a whole other way, beside he didn't even know if Dean was into guys, for all he knew he already had someone in mind. 

He parked his car and headed inside the building where his classroom was. He hadn't even realized that he didn't have keys to Dean's house and he didn't know how he would get in. _I'll figure it out later,_ he thought. He was going to check the time again on his phone when he saw Dean and texted him about the keys. He chuckled and sent a quick reply as he walked inside. 

When he got there he saw the class was pretty packed. He suddenly felt nervous, he knew if he didn't calm down he would start to shake and sweat. He took a deep breath, put his things down on his desk and introduced himself. 

He could hear a few girls talking, he turned to look at them and as soon as he did they smiled and blinked quite a few times. Castiel thought maybe they had gotten something stuck in their eyes, so he gave them a small smile before turning his attention back to the other students.

He began talking about what his class was about and some of the things they would be doing. He had forgotten to go pick up the laptop the school was providing him so he had to improvise. He used this time to get to know some of his students. 

Some of the kids there weren't even in his class, they had just come to check out the new teacher. It didn't come as a surprise that the group of girls from earlier were also there to "see the new teacher". He shook his head and watched as half of the class left. 

He had three classes that day. After the first one had finished he went out to get himself some food and get the laptop. He met another teacher from the college in the restaurant he had gone in. They sat and ate their food together. 

"So Anael, what do you teach" 

"At the moment I'm teaching psychology" 

"That's great, I honestly don't know if I'll be able to do this" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, half the students in my class were only there to see if I was good looking" 

Anael chuckled, "Yeah, I've been there, the first year was a bit rough kids would sneak into my class at total random points to see if I was as _hot_ as others had said" she gave Cas a smile "hang in there, it'll get better" 

He smiled and nodded he took another bite of his taco. 

"You're new to town, right?" She asked eating some of her food. 

"Yeah" 

"You like it so far?" 

He smiled widely, of course he did. He hated living in that hotel but that didn't stop him from admiring the beauty of the town. Some times at night the sky would be full of stars, during the day it would be beautiful bright blue color almost like his eyes. And he especially liked where he was now. He knew it had only been a day, but he had a feeling it was going to feel like he'd been living with Dean for forever. 

"Yeah" he said finally, still smiling. 

"Well that's good, because I'd hate if you didn't like my home town" she grinned. 

They talked for the rest of the time they were eating their food. Cas liked being able to have someone to talk to at work, Anael was funny and kind, she honestly seemed great.

They both walked together to their cars and headed back to the school. 

Cas headed back to his class and since he had nothing left to do for the remaining 20 minutes he decided to work on the lesson plan for tomorrow. He was so focused he didn't realize that students had begun to come into his class. 

He closed the computer and got himself ready to introduce himself again. He was still a bit surprised that some kids had again only come to see how he looked. He was feeling nervous with all the looks he was getting. 

Some were fine but others seemed more intense. Guys and girls had been eyeing him in a way that he felt kind of uncomfortable. They would do the same things the other girls had done to him and it was messing him up when he talked. He took a small break from talking and let the students discuss a question he had asked. 

He calmed down and after asking which students were actually part of his class he felt better. He had gotten rid of most of the people who stared at him weirdly. He actually had a good conversation with the students in his third class. Some of them were also really interested in what he was going to teach, while others were only doing it for the extra credit. 

By the end of the day, he left the school content. He really enjoyed talking with the kids and hearing about their opinions on old poetry and other literature factors. He headed to his car and sat there for a bit taking in the day. Even in his car people still looked at him a lot. He got looks from other adults, teachers too. 

He opened his phone and saw Meg had texted him. She asked if he was done teaching. 

CAS: Yep all done 

MEG: that's good, you're lucky 

CAS: ;P

MEG: >:[

CAS: You gonna be working late? 

MEG: yeah but at least I'll get my car back soon

CAS: thank God I was getting tired of driving you around 

MEG: Haha, Gabe came over this morning to get his car back

CAS: I thought for sure you'd keep it

MEG: yeah well I'm a kind soul

CAS: Sure

MEG: I am 

MEG: Anyways I wanted to tell you I'm applying to three different colleges for next semester 

CAS: That's great!! You know if you need anything I'm always here

MEG: yeah I know just didn't to ask you for money 

CAS: Well you helped me and I feel like I owed you

MEG: I know but also taking this semester off has proven to me how hard life can be

CAS: Yeah I hear you

MEG: Enough about me how was your first day?

CAS: It was pretty stressful at first but then later on it got better

MEG: Well I'm glad it went well at least

CAS: Why?

MEG: Well you know sometimes new teachers get picked on

MEG: I was kinda worried that would happen to you

MEG: But then I thought it wouldn't because your awesome and nobody would do that to you

CAS: Awww Meg you're so sweet

MEG: yeah yeah don't get used to it

CAS: :3

MEG: :3

MEG: okay well I gtg text you later? 

CAS: I hope so

CAS: Later alligator 

MEG: In a while crocodile 

Cas smiled and put his phone away. He remembered he needed to get a mattress, he checked the time and saw it was 4:26. 

He drove to a furniture store he had seen near the motel he had been staying at. He looked at some of the bed designs. He settled with a queen sized wooden bed. The head broad wasn't too big and it was covered in soft, gray, wool fabric. They didn't have the bed there so he had to wait for it to be delivered. They told him it would arrive sometime this week maybe on Wednesday or Thursday. He was in his car about to drive home when he got a text from Dean. His heart actually did a flip as he opened it to read what he had said. 

Dean asked him about dinner. And of course because he loved cooking he was more than happy to suggest what to make. At the end of their conversation Dean said "see you at home" and Cas's smile grew so wide, his face was burning with how badly he was blushing. 

He didn't think he had ever felt that way over such a simple text, he was just so happy he had a home and he was sharing it with Dean of all people. 

He decided to drive to the store to pick up what they needed to make the food. He took the keys out of the mailbox and unloaded all the bags on the breakfast bar. 

Dean walked through the door a few minutes after him. 

He and Dean talked while they cooked. He laughed when Dean got tomato juice all over his face. Dean had asked him a question that he was answering with his whole heart, it made him think about his past. He thought about cooking for his ex boyfriend. 

He really did like to cook, and he got to do it every day for him. One of the reasons he loved him was because he would always find the right ways to complement him and his cooking. He would ask for more all the time. They wouldn't spend much time in the kitchen together as hed like, but he always found the way to make it up to Cas. He knew if he kept thinking about him he'd cry again, and he didn't want that. He cleared his throat and thought of a way to change the subject. 

They talked about something else while Cas made the sauce. They were talking about what they liked. Dean made him forget all about how stressed he was over work. He gave him so many of the grins that made his heart do multiple flips and his stomach turn. When they stood close together Cas got the strong sent coming from Dean. He was disappointed when the sauce he made began covering up his smell, even though it smelled delicious and it made his mouth water. He got over it thinking he was super weird and he shouldn't be thinking about him like that. 

Cas found himself humming Shook me all night long by ACDC, while stirring the sauce and washing dishes. He was humming again, which he hadn't done in such a long time, and he only did it when he was happy. 

He finished cleaning the kitchen before putting everything together and adding the last touches of seasoning. 

Cas thought Bobby was Dean's dad at first. The way they talked and acted around each other seemed more than comfortable. Later he learned Bobby wasn't really his blood father, he was more like a surrogate one after Sam and Dean's parents had passed. Cas thought it didn't matter if they were blood related or not, because the way Dean talked to him, seemed more than father and son like. 

Dean was showing Bobby around the house when Sam arrived. He walked into the kitchen and greeted Cas. 

"Guess my brother left you alone to do all the cooking" 

"To your surprise he helped a bit" 

"That's good, he let you make a salad?" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Because according to _him_ it's like rabbit food, and he can't live off of it" 

Cas and Sam laughed. 

"Where's Jess?" Cas asked. 

"Oh, she had to work a late shift she won't come out till late" Sam said. 

"Well, there will be plenty of leftovers" 

"Not with Dean" Sam chuckled. 

Cas nodded and smiled. 

When Dean and Bobby had finished the tour they headed into the kitchen to eat dinner. They all ate quite a lot of food. Sam ate most of the salad, Cas had actually forgotten about it. Bobby started a conversation with him about what he worked as, and what he had been doing. He talked about the positive things in his past and avoided the painful bits. Cas had a great time talking with him. He seemed like such a strong, independent capable person. 

They finished dinner and watched a movie afterwards. He and Dean sat quite close, he didn't mind at all. It made his heart beat louder everytime their knees touched. He managed to put the thought of them sitting together out. Now he only blushed everytime Dean stared at him. A small smile would grow on his face whenever he caught Dean staring. By the end of the movie his cheeks hurt.

When Bobby and Sam had left Dean had Cas were left alone together to clean up. They worked together and walked up the stairs together again, just like the night before. They said goodnight before walking into their rooms.

Cas came back out after changing into some more comfortable clothes to finish getting ready for bed. He remembered he still needed to complete the lesson plan for tomorrow so before going to bed he worked on it. 

He closed his computer and shut off the lights he lay in his sleeping bag for a while. He was thinking about his day, and how it went from good to stressful to great. He also thought about why he kept humming, and he realized it was because he hadn't been this happy in a long time. Spending time with Dean seemed to be good for him and he couldn't wait to spend more evenings cooking and talking together. He actually secretly kinda liked when Dean made him blush. He knew he couldn't get too carried away with what he liked from Dean. But as long as it wasn't too big he was fine with it. He was completely ready for his new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels like a long time since the first chapter, thank you if your still reading I really truly appreciate it!!! :D 💛


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week living together, Dean hasn't ever fallen for anyone this fast and hard. But he's not sure if Cas feels the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One week time skip! #11 longer than anything I've written enjoy!

It had been a week since Cas had moved in.

Everyday seemed to go by fast, and Dean didn't like it. He wished the days would go by slower so he could spend more time with him. He was getting used to Cas making him breakfast every morning, he didn't mind but he also didn't want him to feel like he had too. 

They both came out of work early on Fridays and Dean was happy to spend more time with him later on, because he enjoyed it. They would get lost in conversations sometimes. And even though it had _only_ been a week, Dean felt like he had known Cas for a long time. 

He loved making him laugh because he loved to hear his laugh, he could hear it over and over in his head forever and it would make him smile everytime. He loved when Cas smiled so wide his nose would scrunch up, and his gums showed. Dean felt so comfortable around him. 

Monday and Tuesday had gone by in a blink of an eye. Cas was on his computer when Dean came home on Tuesday. Dean sat there awkwardly before Cas began a conversation with him. He would be typing but at the same time paying attention to what Dean was saying. After he was done working he and Dean went into the kitchen to make dinner together and after they had dinner they would sit in the living room watching movies until it was time for them to go to bed. 

Wednesday hadn't been such a great day, it started off right at first. He woke up to the smell of food again and Cas. But when he headed to work he had gotten into an argument with a customer. Then later while he was changing the oil of a car, instead of being in the car it ended up all over him. He was in a bad mood the rest of the day and when the delivery man had come to drop off a few things, he yelled at him too. His mood had changed drastically when he got home. 

Cas was in the kitchen baking. It smelled so good the smell alone brightened his mood. He let his feet guide him into the kitchen. He saw Cas was busy rolling out some dough. He greeted him and after Dean had gotten into more comfortable clothes he helped him bake too.

Cas told him how baking was something he did when he had a lot of things on his mind, along with other things but, baking was his favorite.

The next day Dean took some of the mini pies Cas had made to work. He gave him some for Sam and Bobby too. 

When he got home on Thursday he didn't see Cas on the couch or in the kitchen. He heard music playing upstairs and knew Cas was probably up in his room. He actually didn't come out until it was around 8. Dean had been watching tv all day. He also texted Jo, he felt like it had been a long time since they talked. He caught her up on his life. He went back and read their texts and saw he had been talking about Cas a _lot._ He felt his face burn just a little. Then he began thinking about him. He wanted to see what Cas was doing that kept him upstairs all day. When Cas finally came down, Dean's heart leaped.

Cas looked sleepy and worn out, but he smiled when he saw him. When they were eating, Dean found out what Cas was doing all day. He told him how he was a part time assistant and sometimes Zach, the person he worked for would need some translations and research done for classes he taught. 

Dean told him if it wore him out so much he should quit, he already did have to teach his own classes, and he doubted _that_ was easy. Cas told him how he only got the job he has right now because of _him_ and he didn't want to be rude and leave him alone when he needed him.

Dean's heart filled with warmth when he heard Cas say that. Dean thought it was really _awesome_ of Cas to keep helping someone out even if it killed him. It was what he _liked_ most about him, his willingness to help others. 

On Friday after he left work early Cas wasn't home yet. He wanted to ask him if he wanted to go out and do something together, but when Cas came home he had a whole bunch of books in his arms. 

He nearly tripped because he had so many things, he could hardly see in front of him. Dean helped him take his stuff upstairs, it had been a while since he had been in there. 

The first thing he noticed were all the textbooks. His small desk was flooded with papers and books. He had a board on the wall covered in pages full of words and posted notes. His floor was also covered in books that didn't fit on his desk. He also saw Cas's bed covered in papers, he wondered when he had gotten it since he didn't remember ever seeing it before. Cas was a bit shy about his room and said he would clean up after he was finished with what he was working on. 

Dean left him to work and forgot about asking him to go out. It wasn't like it was a big deal but Dean was kinda hurt. He was feeling really sad for some reason, instead of hanging around the house not doing anything he went for a drive. 

He drove to the store, he remembered he said he was going to get some stuff to make some pancakes on Saturday. He was okay with Cas making him breakfast every day as long as it wasn't on the weekends. Even though he would have to wake up early to beat Cas to the kitchen he decided it was worth it. He could only imagine the smile on Cas's face when he saw _he_ had made him breakfast for a change. 

When he got back home it was quiet, Dean figured Cas was still up in his room working. He walked into the kitchen. He decided he was going to cook. Dean wasn't sure if it would even come out good, or what to make, but he was determined to make dinner for once. He looked up different recipes of what to make until he found something he liked. It was pretty early to make dinner but it was probably gonna take him all afternoon so he thought now was a great time to start. He looked in the refrigerator and in the cabinets to see if he had what he needed, luckily Cas had done some of the grocery shopping again. He was about to start when it hit him. 

Instead of making something he wasn't sure of, he could make something he already knew how to do. He laughed at himself for not thinking about it sooner, he was going to make what he knew how to make best, he was going to make them burgers for dinne along with fries. 

He chopped up two potatoes into skinny long rectangles. He got out his pot and added more than half of the bottle of oil in. He cooked the fries first before the meat. The beef wasn't made into patties yet so he had to make them himself. He also got out some cheese and bacon. 

Now, the only time he actually ate vegetables with his food was when it was burgers. He was also thinking about Cas and how he probably ate his burgers with everything. He was busy putting everything together, he turned around and nearly got a heart attack.

Cas was leaning on the wall that separated the kitchen and living room. He walked over to him, a huge smile on his face, probably because he scared him. Cas helped him finish getting the food ready. While they ate dinner Dean asked him whether or not he had finished, Cas's mouth was full when he answered. Dean was so happy he thought his heart might explode, Cas seemed to really be enjoying his food, and Dean felt a sense of accomplishment. 

He got the smile he had wanted from Cas, the really big one that he had only seen on him when he was with him. It was around 8 when they had finished cleaning up. Dean wanted to ask Cas if he wanted to go out for a drive, but he began feeling nervous. His stomach turned and he was scared that the burger he had just eaten would come back up. He didn't understand why he was feeling so nervous, they were just going for a drive, it wasn't that big a deal. And then somehow it was. 

After gathering up all his courage he asked Cas the question that was killing him to get out. He watched as Cas's cheeks grew with color, and a small smile began to form at the corners of his mouth. They were quietly sitting in Dean's car for a while before he managed to start the car. He drove Cas around town showing him his favorite spots.

He showed him his favorite burger joint, and his favorite bar. If the roadhouse wasn't his favorite bar, he was sure Ellen would kill him. He planned on inviting Cas to go there, he just didn't know if he had the courage to. He was feeling so happy, he got a strange feeling in his stomach, it was a different one than earlier. They drove around town for some time before heading back home. 

Dean watched Cas, he was sitting beside him looking out the window. His hair flopped back and forth as the wind from the window blew through it. His smile faded in and out as he saw more. Dean made him laugh as many times as he could, he wanted to hear Cas's laugh non stop. Something about it made his heart soar. 

After their drive Dean walked Cas to his room, something he hadn't done before, they stood quietly staring into each other eyes for what seemed like a long time. Cas's smile was soft and beautiful. Dean could get so lost in his bright blue eyes. He wanted to lean in closer to him and he did. He was so close he could feel Cas's breath on his face. He couldn't stop staring at his lips, and how lonely they seemed. Dean wanted to pull him close and kiss him but he didn't. He didn't because Cas looked away. 

Cas was blushing so hard his ears were red. Dean felt his heart pound, he wanted to kiss Cas so badly now but Cas probably didn't want to, and he didn't push.

They said goodnight after a while and he walked to his room, he should have felt bad for being rejected, but he couldn't help but think about earlier in the car. How happy Cas was and how happy _he_ was. How much he made Cas laugh and smile, making _him_ smile so wide his face hurt. He lay in bed after brushing his teeth, thinking about him. 

On Saturday morning Dean woke up at six, that was the time Cas usually got up, sometimes as late as 6:30. He was super sleepy, he looked out the kitchen window into the backyard. 

It was kind of dark and cloudy out. He grabbed his mug and made himself a cup of coffee. He hoped Cas wouldn't come down too soon, since he was barely waking up and hadn't even begun making the pancake batter. After he was half way through his second cup of coffee he pulled out all the stuff he needed and began mixing the batter. 

Dean learned that Cas liked to sleep in on weekends when he came downstairs at around 8:30. Dean had barely finished making both of their stacks. He wanted to get rid of the little bumps of flour that were left behind. He used a spoon to mash all the little balls of flour, he had lost track of time trying to make the batter smooth, almost silky. He made Cas a cup of coffee and made himself another. 

They both ate their pancakes happily. Cas was smiling really widely after his first bite. He said they were the best pancakes he had ever had. This was major for Dean's ego. He felt such a weird feeling spread throughout his body, watching Cas eat the food he made. He realized it was what Cas had said about making food because it made others happy. He loved starting of his mornings with him already and did want that to ever change.

After breakfast he got a message from Charlie saying she wanted to come over and finally introduce her girlfriend. Dean had heard a lot about Gilda. She and Charlie had met during one of her LARPing events. Dean had been once and he had the best time. 

He told Cas and he was more than happy to meet his best friend. He didn't have any plans for the weekend. Dean asked him about Meg, all of a sudden he didn't mind talking about her, it probably had to do with the fact that she wasn't his girlfriend. 

Cas told him she was busy this weekend.

Charlie was going to come by around 2 so they had a few hours to kill. Dean considered asking Cas if he wanted to go out, but he thought it might be too soon. 

Instead he remembered he still needed to clean the backyard. He headed outside and inspected the patio. Apart from a few leaves lying around it wasn't very messy. He looked at the old chairs out there and got an idea. He walked back inside the house and found Cas in the living room on his phone. 

He asked him if he wanted to go to the store to look for a few things to decorate the patio with. Cas's smile was so wide it made Dean smile too without him realizing it. 

They headed to Target first, because Dean knew they had a very nice outdoor section filled with the nicest decorations.

They bought pots and a few small statues. Cas said he wanted to plant a few flowers out in the back and Dean couldn't object against such a cute face. They also got a few fake plants that you could hang from the top of the patio roof. Cas suggested they buy some fairly lights to hang outside. 

Dean bought an outdoor set. It had a small square table along with four cushion chairs that could easily be assembled. 

Baby was packed in the trunk and in the backseats when they left. They also stopped by Ross, Cas wanted to see if they had something he wanted, in his words _"you can find the cutest things for a very cheap price"._

Once they got home they unloaded the stuff outside and began decorating the outside of the house. Dean set up the chairs and table while Cas set up the lights. He also hung up some of the fake plants. He got his little rabbit, frog and turtle statues and found nice places for them. He walked back inside the house and brought out two more statues he had gotten at Ross.

One was a german shepherd and one was a border collie. He placed them side by side near the glass doors. 

Dean smiled, he watched as Cas continued to arrange the stuff. He finished the chairs and set them up nicely. He set them in the middle of the patio.

He walked beside Cas and they both admired the patio. It looked beautiful especially because they had both chosen everything together. The fake plants dangled from the outdoor ceiling along with the fairylights. It would look even better at night, the lights against the wood, glowing like fireflies. It made it even better because they were both making _his_ house _their own._

Cas headed inside and made some lemonade while Dean finished cleaning up the boxes and packaging. They sat outside drinking the ice cold drink while talking. 

When Charlie came over with her girlfriend they stayed outside. He finally met the girl his friend always talked about. She would go on and on about how great and beautiful she was, Dean wasn't disappointed in any of those things. 

She was very beautiful. They caught up on what each of them had been doing. Dean felt like it had been forever since he and Charlie had hung out. Cas and Charlie talked while he and Gilda did. Dean didn't think he'd ever seen Charlie act the way she was. She grinned and did those weird love filled eyes at him. He would scoff and roll his eyes, because he knew 'exactly' what she was thinking. Because he thought it too. 

He was so _damn_ happy being around him, it made him realize how badly he wanted to be with Cas. More than friends, he knew they had only been together about a week but he knew he liked Cas already. He knew he was a goner. 

He looked over at Cas and at that same time Cas looked at him. He had the cutest smile on his face. His eyes shined, the sunlight reflecting on them. His hair was just a bit messy and Dean longed to ruffle it. They were inching closer and closer, he could feel his breathing begin to deepen. He looked down at Cas's lips again and imagined kissing them. Placing a long kiss and then taking a small bite of them. 

Charlie interrupted his thought when she asked Cas a question. 

Dean sat quietly looking away from everyone, he gripped his knees and took a deep breath. He was losing it, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to just look at Cas without wanting to slam their lips together. 

They talked all afternoon and had sandwiches for lunch along with the lemon aid Cas had made earlier. Charlie left sometime around 5, she wanted to go see Sam too. He and Cas went out for dinner later that day. He wanted Cas to try the burgers from the place he showed him. Cas agreed the bacon cheeseburger was the best one. They drove around town for a while after they had eaten. 

Cas wanted to stop by a park and Dean took him to one with a pond. They sat on a bench quietly looking out at the water. They watched the few ducks that were still swimming and they listened to the sounds of the bugs coming alive at night. 

Cas looked so beautiful. The moon shined on his blue eyes making them seem like they glowed. The small breeze made his hair flop, Dean took in the sight of Cas. He was falling for Cas, _hard_. He looked away from his face and looked at the water. He felt Cas staring at him but he didn't look up. He didn't want to look at him again and get the urge to kiss him. 

Dean had a painful thought. He felt like Cas didn't feel the same way he did. He didn't even know if Cas was into guys or not, and he was too shy to ask him that. He wanted to, but didn't he thought he might just play it cool and act as friends for however long he could.

It was Sunday and Dean was making waffles for breakfast today. Since he had woken up too early last time and found out that Cas woke up till 8 he got up at 7:30. He pulled out his waffle iron, he had actually forgotten he had one until he moved. He made them coffee and set everything on the breakfast bar. 

He heard Cas coming down the stairs. Cas had a smile on his face when he walked into the kitchen. 

"Do you really wake up early on weekends?" Cas asked taking a seat on the stool across from him. 

"No, just felt like it was my turn to make breakfast for you" 

"Oh" Cas said, his cheeks reddened, "you don't have too" 

"Neither do you but you do anyway, besides I don't mind making breakfast I actually kinda like to" 

Cas smiled one of his soft smiles "Thank you" 

Dean smiled and nodded, "Uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere today?"

Cas looked up from his cup of coffee. 

Dean felt his stomach turn. He didn't know why he asked so suddenly. He was thinking it, he just wished he'd thought it through. He was sure he would get rejected and he was preparing himself when a quiet "yeah" escaped Cas. 

He looked at Cas and smiled so wide. He was thrilled at the idea of getting to spend the whole day with him. Cas was smiling at him the whole time they ate breakfast. He and Cas walked upstairs together to get ready to head out. Cas came out of his room a minute after Dean. 

They met in the middle smiling at each other. Cas was wearing a yellow t-shirt with a tiny bee imprint on the left side of his chest. He had a black sweater and black jeans. He was wearing sneakers, they were yellow, green and purple. He looked so cute to Dean and the cute smile he had on his face was adorable. Cas was blushing so much Dean couldn't help but grin.

Dean had on a black t, blue worn out jeans, his dad's old leather jacket and the amulet Sam had given him when they were kids. It was real special to him, so he didn't always wear it, he was afraid something might happen to it. 

They walked side by side down the stairs and Dean drove then to the movie theater. 

They grabbed their tickets and went to get their snacks while they waited for the movie to start. 

"You like licorice?" Cas asked him as Dean grabbed a bag. 

"Yeah, who doesn't? Well, Sam but he doesn't count" 

Cas laughed, and Dean's heart pounded. They got the rest of their snacks and headed into their theater. 

They sat down and started to eat the popcorn as they watched the previews. Dean looked around and saw there were a lot of couples there. They were spread throughout the seats. Some of them were making out and the movie hadn't even begun. He looked at Cas and saw Cas had the same look of confusion as him. 

"I think we came into the wrong theater room" Dean said munching on some popcorn. 

Dean chuckled, he felt so awkward. He was surrounded by a bunch of people who were kissing and hugging while he sat here awkwardly with the guy he'd been living with _and_ had a crush on. A loud sound errupted from the speakers, the movie was about to start. 

Cas shrugged and he looked at the screen. They watched the movie wanting to know which one it was. Dean immediately recognized it as the Notebook. He had seen it a few times before, and even though he said he did like romantic movies or rom coms deep inside he did. 

Cas looked at him, "Do you want to go see if the horror movie we were going to see is on?" 

"I don't really want to move, you know, because of _everyone_ in here" truthfully he wanted to stay and watch the movie. 

"Oh yeah, that would be awkward" 

Dean nodded and looked back at the screen, "Might as well watch the movie" 

Cas nodded and smiled he took some of the popcorn and ate it. Dean felt a tear roll down his cheek. He was bitting into a piece of licorice and trying not to sniffle. He looked over at Cas and saw his eyes were watery, they were full of tears. Dean wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek and quickly rubbed his eyes. He cleared his throat and ate the rest of the licorice. He watched as Allie read the cards Noah had written for her. 

Dean stuck his hand into the bucket of popcorn and felt Cas's hand. They turned to look at one another, Cas blushed and pulled his hand out. Dean grinned, that small touch made him red, it was adorable. He gave him a smile watching him closely. Cas turned away and continued to watch the movie, he was distracted by him. He watched the movie getting ready for the ending because he knew he was going to cry again. 

He wiped away a stray tear when it showed them in Allie's room, lying in bed together. Cas was sniffing and crying, he drank some of his cherry slurpee. 

He was wiping his tears when they left the dark room. 

"You okay?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, it's just a really good love story" 

"I know" 

"I think it was sweet of Noah to read her their story over and over to help her remember" 

Dean nodded he didn't want to let it slip that he'd seen that movie more than one time. 

"Wanna get some ice cream?" He asked. 

Cas seemed to cheer up, he was smiling when he looked up at Dean. His lips were stained red and his blue eyes slightly red too. He looked beautiful even when he cried, sad but beautiful. 

Dean drove them to Basket robin's. He got one of his favorites, rocky road, Cas got the same. They walked down the street towards Baby. Dean heard people laughing and he could hear carnival games.

He and Cas walked around the block and saw there was a small street fair in an open field. They walked over to look at the games. Dean's nose filled with the different smells. The game that caught his attention was the one he'd always see in movies and wanted to try out for himself. He walked over excitement all over his face. 

"Wanna play?" He turned to look at Cas. 

Cas smiled, "Of course! I've always wanted to play one of these" 

They ate their ice creams fast and sat down next to each other. The game was the one where you took the gun that shot out water and shot it into the clowns mouth making the poll rise as the balloon filled with water.

"You can't even keep up" Dean laughed. 

"You keep cheating" 

"I do not"

"I think bumping into my shoulder every five seconds counts" 

"Oh come on, don't be a sore loser" 

"I'm not a sore loser because I'm _not_ a loser" Cas turned to look at him and he looked back. Cas was grinning at him, there was a strong sense of confidence emmiting from him. It was something he hadn't seen on Cas before, it was like Cas was coming out of his shell and opening himself up. He was lost in the way his blue eyes stared at him. Cas turned away, and he was lost thinking of the grin Cas had given him. He looked so good with it, it made his chest warm. Dean didn't realize his aim was off. 

The ringing of a bell snapped him out of his trance. Cas had won, he looked at Dean again and stuck his tongue out. 

"Told you, who's the loser now" 

"You distracted me that didn't count" 

"Oh come one, don't be a sore loser" Dean laughed, and so did he. 

Cas had won a medium sized brown bear. 

"You can have it" he said handing it to Dean. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, so you can remember that I beat you even though you cheated" he bumped into Dean. He sped walked away from Dean. Dean was stunned, he liked cocky Cas, and wanted to see that side of him more. He jogged to catch up with him. They played a few more games like popping the balloons with darts and hitting the targets with beanbags trying to knock as many down as they could. They also played wack-a-mole. 

They were both completely tired with all the walking around they had done. They ate corn dogs at the fair and called that dinner. Obviously Dean ate more than three to be able to call it dinner. 

Cas came downstairs after he had gotten ready to go to bed. He sat with Dean on the couch. Dean was waiting for the weather report before he headed to bed. 

"Dean?" 

"Yeah?" Dean asked, he turned off the television after the report had come out. 

"I uh, had a really good time today, thank you" 

Dean's heart hadn't slowed down almost all day and he didn't see why it had to know. Cas was smiling at him warmly and his cheeks were a light shade of pink. 

"Anytime" he said. 

Cas smiled even wider and then he yawned. Dean yawned too. They both smiled at each other, they were both very sleepy. 

"Time for bed?" 

"Yeah" Cas said. 

They shut off the lights and headed upstairs, each of them going into their own rooms after saying goodnight at the top of the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading 😊 💛


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has been having the best of his time of his life with Dean. He doesn't want it to stop and he's even happier now that he knows Dean's into guys, he just has to let himself feel again, for their to be any chance of anything between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! Longer than the last one I believe! 😊

Cas was sitting in his empty classroom waiting for his next class. It was Monday the most dreaded day of the week. He was glad this was his last class before he was done for the day, he was exhausted. His mind started to drift. He began to think about last week.

He had been living with Dean for a whole week now and he liked every minute of it. He liked making dinner with him and watching movies after. He liked to tease him. He liked when Dean made him laugh. Dean had been so kind to him it made him so happy. 

Cas got a strong sense that Dean was really into old cowboy movies, even the monkey ones. He had never in his life seen so many recommended cowboy movies on someone's Netflix section. 

Cas was at the house an hour earlier than Dean every day.

On Tuesday on his way to Dean's house he drove past a senior couple who was having a yard sale. He got himself a desk lamp, cork bulletin board and a few other small items. He took his stuff upstairs, changed and headed back downstairs. He sat in the living room planning out his class for the next day, working until Dean arrived. He looked up from his laptop when he heard the front door open, and saw Dean walk into the living room, to sit beside him. They talked until he finished the lesson plan, then they went into the kitchen and made dinner together. Dean walked upstairs and got into some comfortable clothes before they ate. They watched a movie and then the news before heading to bed. They waited for the weather report Dean wanted to see. 

They stood at the top of the stairs staring at each other for a while before saying goodnight and walking to their bedrooms.

On Wednesday after he arrived at Dean's house he got his bed. He called Meg over before she started her shift for work to help him assemble the bed. They both managed to put together most of it before he drove her to work. 

He went upstairs and finished setting it up when he came back. Once he was done he felt hungry, he walked into the kitchen to see what he could make. He thought about work and how some students would still stare at him a lot, it made him anxious. He made some dough for these mini pies he had learned to make. He made the filling which was apples and cinnamon. 

He heard Dean walking down the hallway and into the kitchen. Cas smiled at him, he could tell Dean was tense. But as soon as Dean saw him he smiled. Dean went upstairs to change and came back down to help him make the pies. 

Dean told him about his day in exchange for him to tell him about his. They both baked until it was time for dinner. They made something simple, Dean was so excited to eat the pies they had made he didn't think he'd ever seen anyone so happy for pie, but then he remembered Dean _loved_ pie. He packed him some for tomorrow, enough for him, Sam and Bobby. They watched a movie and the news before going to bed. 

On Thursday early in the morning he got a call from Zach. He needed Cas to work on some translations and he needed them by Saturday. Cas knew he was going to end up being so stressed. He dreaded having to use up his half free day tomorrow too. 

He enjoyed his slow morning with Dean before heading to work and preparing himself for the day. His first class felt like it had gone by painfully slow. Most of the students were sleeping or talking. Not many of them paid attention and then after he had very clearly explained the topic, he still had students raise their hands to ask a question he had just answered. He wanted to give them a good smack in the back of the head but instead he patiently answered their questions over and over again.

When his first class was _finally_ over he ordered something simple for lunch and headed to the campus library. He borrowed just a few books since he already had some of his at home. Anael joined him in his classroom for lunch. She had no clue what he was even doing but helped him with a few things. Before lunch was over, she wished him luck and left to get to her class.

The second class was much easier than the first, this class was built better. More kids paid attention and didn't talk so much. He was able to get through the class without yawning like he did in the first. He would get tired of repeating himself a million times. He would sometimes stand for a long time waiting for the students that were being the loudest to be quiet. 

His third class was his favorite, this was the class where most of the students engaged with him. They would eagerly answer his questions as soon as he asked them. They would ask questions of their own to try and get a more specific explanation. He had such a great time with that class he wished his other classes were like them, more specifically the first. 

After leaving the campus he drove straight home to continue working. He got home and headed straight to his bedroom to begin. Before he wouldn't mind staying incredibly busy and working till late until he finished.

Things were different now and he felt really bad that he was going to be busy all afternoon and maybe night too. He felt a strange pit form in his stomach when he realized he wouldn't be able to greet Dean when he came home. He might not spend the evening with him and it made him sad. 

He shook his head and sat at his desk. He pulled out his materials and his small speaker, he played music from his favorite playlist and began flipping through his notes. He wrote so much his wrists ached, he put the pencil down and saw it was 6:13. He knew Dean was home already, he wanted to go downstairs and see him but he knew if he did he would get distracted. 

He thought it was better to finish what he was doing so he could finish faster and see him. He worked non-stop reading, writing and typing. He pinned sticky notes on his board and papers too. He set apart everything he had done and what he still needed too.

It was 8 now and even though he should have stayed upstairs to try to finish he found himself walking downstairs. His eyes hurt and his neck and back did too. 

When he saw Dean he instantly felt better, it was as if his smile was the cure to everything. Cas smiled so wide when he saw Dean, he had been wanting to see him and he was so joyful when he was finally able too. They made dinner and watched the news before going to bed. Of course he didn't go to sleep right away he was thinking about Dean, why? He didn't know.

Cas rolled around his bed for a bit before finally finding a comfortable spot. 

Friday wasn't very good, at first. He only had his first two classes that day. After having breakfast with Dean he grabbed a few of his notes and books and took them along with him. He wanted to work on this any chance he got. His first class was way more reckless than usual. There were two girls that were going through a break up, even though he hardly raised his voice they would break down crying. He excused them from his class because they were drawing away too much attention from his lesson. 

He took his laptop out and began typing as soon as his lunch break started. Anael stopped by again to drop off his food. She sat with him, talking while he worked. He enjoyed the company and he paid attention to everything she said even if it didn't seem like it. He was famous for multitasking. 

Second class went smoothly and by the time it was over he felt better. Instead of heading home as soon as he was done teaching he stayed in his classroom working. Sure he wanted to get home, but doing as much as he could now meant he would have to do less there. 

He typed what he had in the laptop and looked through his books for what he still needed. He had to translate various pieces of text from six different languages that had been considered dead. It wasn't easy especially since each of the texts were half a page in small writing. He needed his other books at _home_ so he packed up and drove home.

Dean helped him get his stuff upstairs because he nearly tripped. He felt a tiny bit less stressed once he saw Dean. He also felt embarrassed when Dean came into his room and saw how messy it was. 

He sat at his desk writing down the translation he still needed to translate in english. When he couldn't find what he needed at his desk he would look on the floor and on his bed. He had everything spread out everywhere, his desk was getting a little too small for his stuff. 

He took a couple of pills for his headache and continued writing. He went through highlighters pretty quickly and pens. Once he had translated everything he began to type.

This was the hardest part for him, too much contact with the screen hurt his eyes. They would get blurry and sometimes they'd cry. He took breaks in between for his eyes and to stretch. His neck and back would get stiff. 

After typing in the last bit of the translated text he walked to his bed and threw himself on it. He groaned because it wasn't too comfortable with all the papers and books. He got up and cleared the bed, desk and floor. He went back to his bed, he lay on his back looking back up at the ceiling he had been in here all afternoon. He turned to look at the clock and saw it was 6:49. 

He closed his eyes breathing in deeply, he was so tired he could just fall asleep. A smile formed on his face. He wanted to see Dean. 

He hadn't forgotten about him, he just tried not thinking about him this whole time because he didn't want to get distracted. He knew he could, he thought about him a bit more than he'd like too. 

When he was at work sometimes or when he drove from and to home, all he did was think of him. He smiled wider at the thought of _Dean's_ smile. He wanted to see him so bad he practically jumped off the bed.

When he was halfway down the stairs he smelled food. His stomach growled almost immediately. He walked through the living room into the kitchen. He saw Dean at the kitchen counter, his back was turned. Cas had a wonderful idea, he was gonna stay as quiet as he could until Dean turned around.

He only realized how weird it was when he was staring at him for a while. Because of _what_ he was staring at. He was looking at his broad shoulders, and back. He was in a trance watching how they worked. They moved together so smoothly, he wondered what Dean was doing so carefully. His back was strong, Cas moved his eyes lower. Dean's body became smaller as he got to his waist, and then there was his ass. Cas felt warmth rise from his chest to his cheeks. He looked away, he was so ashamed of checking him out. 

He looked back with a smile on his face, and Dean turned around. Cas saw he jumped, he smiled even wider, forgetting about his feeling of shame.

Dean's face settled and then formed a smile. Cas missed that smile, he felt bad for spending so much time up in his room. He walked closer to Dean and saw he had made dinner. He helped him set the food on the counter top.

As soon as he took his first bite of the burger Dean had made he melted. His shoulders relaxed and his breath slowed. It tasted _so_ good, he hadn't ever had anything like it. He had a huge smile on his face the whole time they ate. 

Cas thought they were going to watch a movie after they were done, what he got instead was 'way' better. Dean asked him if he wanted to drive around town for a while.

It was Friday he had nothing to do now so he figured why not. Secretly he wanted to spend more time with Dean, in all his time alone he had no idea how good it would feel to spend time with someone. It didn't even have to be romantically, just being friends with Dean was the best thing he could think of. 

Dean showed him a lot of the town. Cas saw his favorite places. He was curious of the bar Dean had showed him. It looked kind of old but something about it drew his attention. It seemed like it held the greatest stories, like it had been there for ages become better and better. 

He had a great time with Dean. He loved the feeling of the cool breeze through his hair. The feeling he got when Dean told him a joke and pointed out things in the streets. He thought the lights lit up the town beautifully. He was lost in every aspect of it. 

He turned to look at Dean, he loved the way from the street light shined on his face every time they passed them. His eyes sparkled in the light, they would go from green to brown and then green again. The shadow that appeared under his plump bottom lip, was his favorite. That night when he lay in bed ready to sleep he was thinking about him. He didn't like to, but he couldn't help it, he liked him and he was afraid of it.

Instead of thinking about him endlessly he grabbed his phone and texted Meg. He wanted to see if she was awake, he needed her to take his mind off of the negative part of his thoughts. 

Thankfully she was, they texted for a full hour before she said she had to go to bed. She had to work over the weekend and they wouldn't be able to hangout, Cas felt bad but then his mind drifted to Dean. Maybe they could do something over the weekend. 

He liked to sleep in during the weekend. He usually woke up around 8:30, he got up early every other day and he wanted to treat himself when he didn't have work.

He was surprised when he woke up and walked to the kitchen to start breakfast and saw Dean. He smiled at him halfway awake, Dean smiled back widely, he placed a plate with a stack of pancakes on them in front of him. He walked to the breakfast bar and sat on one of the stools. He took a sip from the coffee Dean had given him. He was surprised that it tasted just the way he liked it. With not too little and too much sugar.

They had a slow morning eating and talking. The pancakes were the fluffiest he ever had. They were perfectly cooked and golden on both sides. 

After breakfast they went to target. Dean wanted to fix up the backyard since one of his bestfriends was coming over. Cas was excited to meet her, he had heard of Charlie. Dean would bring her up all the time, he knew she was truly special. 

They got outdoor decorations and made sure everything looked nice for when she came over. The backyard looked so beautiful when it was fully decorated. Everything together gave the patio a peaceful aspect. He had always wanted wind chimes. It would look nice in between all the dangling plantthey had gotten and the fairylights. He had gotten fake plants that resembled real ones closely. There were different types of ferns, pearl ones and ones that felt furry. He wondered if Dean would let him get wind chimes for the patio.

He couldn't wait to plant the seeds he had gotten. Spring had begun after a very cold winter and he knew it wouldn't be long before bees started to come out. Dean came to stand next to him to admire the patio. Dean bumped into him slightly, he smiled and warmth filled his stomach. They stood together for a while before he headed inside to make some lemonaid and Dean finished cleaning. 

Charlie came over with her girlfriend. They were both beautiful, they seemed like the perfect pair. Charlie was dorky, funny and adorable. Her girlfriend was just as beautiful and so kind, and Cas had only known her for about 10 minutes. 

They had a great time talking and getting to know one another. He felt such joy when he saw the way they looked at one another. It was like they were the only two people in the world. It was so overwhelming to him. He wanted what they had.

He did, or so he thought, and it had ended badly. He wanted some to hold hands with and to cuddle with, to look at their eyes and get lost in them, to feel like they were the only ones that mattered. 

He turned to look at Dean, it had gone quiet. He could tell Dean saw what he did, how in love the two women in front of them were. He smiled at him, he was so happy they found love and that they loved one another deeply.

He was so focused on Dean's eyes he didn't realize they were close now. He could hear the slight sound of Dean's breathing, he saw him look down to his lips. Cas's heart sped up and his cheeks began to burn. They were so close now he could feel Deans lips on his, and _God,_ he wanted them to. 

Charlie saved him.

He tried not to look at Dean, he could feel heat on his cheeks and he knew he was red. He was so embarrassed he didn't want to see Dean's face. He was sure he was embarrassed too. 

The rest of the time Charlie and Gilda were there he tried not to make to much eye contact with him, not because he didnt want to look at him but because he didn't wan Dean to see how flustered he was. He promised himself he wouldnt let his feeling get to him, and he was failing.

He was clearing the plates and cups from outside once Charlie and Glinda left. Dean came back from walking them out and he asked him to dinner. He was very flustered by the sudden question but he agreed. He wanted more than anything was for things between them to not be awkward and he was glad they weren't.

They ate burgers from the burger joint Dean showed him. He said their best burger was the cheeseburger. He ordered one and there was no _way_ he could lie. They were the best.

They drove to a park after dinner. He felt like sitting outside and admiring the night. He was glad when Dean agreed to take him to one. They sat at a bench overlooking a pond. There were a few ducks swimming still. The stars were visible and the moon looked beautiful. He felt Dean staring at him. He turned to look at him after he felt Dean's gaze leave his face.

His face was illuminated by the reflection of the moonlight on the water. Making Dean's freckles glow and his eyes shine. He wanted to lean on him for some reason, he couldn't quite explain why. He loved being able to hang around him like this. It was peaceful and quiet and his mind was empty except for the constant thought of Dean. He loved it. And he was afraid of it.

Sunday morning was again a surprise Dean made him breakfast and asked him to go out _again_. Cas thought he might die, when he saw Dean step closer to him after they had gone to get changed. Dean looked _hot,_ he thought his legs would give out. As he got closer to him, he got a strong sense of his cologne.

He was wearing pretty normal clothes, and he looked great. The black t, he was wearing was tight around his chest and fell loose around his waist. His jeans hugged him in all the right places. Dean's hair spiked a bit and parted to the right. His cool leather jacket completed his look, making his green eyes pop. He also saw he was wearing a necklace. It looked like an amulet, it had a face and horns. It looked so good on him. He felt so bad for the way he had dressed, he went for a pretty casual look. 

They headed to the movies.

They were going to watch a horror movie that had come out a few days ago. Dean paid for their tickets so he paid for their snacks. After grabbing their stuff they went into the theater room. They had been sitting for about 5 minutes until Cas noticed they were in the wrong one.

He turned to the side because he kept hearing noises, he later realized it was a couple kissing. He looked around the whole theater and saw more people cuddling and kissing. He saw Dean had the same look on his face. He asked whether or not they should move. Dean's said it might be awkward and he had to agree. He didn't really want to get up and ask the couples to move over so they could get out of their row. He also felt it like it was going to be awkward with Dean there but it seemed like he didn't mind.

They ended up watching The Notebook.

He had heard about it but had never actually seen it. It was beautiful. One of the best love stories, he hadn't really seen that many. He didn't really like Allie's bad temper. 

He was a crying mess at the end, the movie really touched him. He wanted someone like that too.

Dean didn't seem affected by the movie but then went the light hit his eyes just right he could tell he had cried too. He didn't say anything he just smiled at himself for figuring it out. 

Dean managed to cheer him up by buying him ice cream. They went into a Basket robin's. It had been a long time since he had rocky road ice cream and since Dean ordered that he did too.

They walked back to the car slowly enjoying their ice cream. Dean had parked about a block down since there was no open parking space in front. They were crossing the street when Cas heard laughter. He turned to see a few balloons. He looked closer and saw a small street fair. Dean turned to look too and they walked down the street to see. 

They ended up playing several games, trying to see who was better. Cas beat Dean at a few of them. His favorite was the first one they played together. He had shown Dean that even if he distracted him he could still win. He was slowly coming out of his comfort zone. He was having the best time ever. 

He was in bed hugging a pillow.

He was so happy, Dean was winning him over without Cas even knowing it. Everyday, everytime he spent time with him made him so _freaking_ happy. He tried going to sleep but his smiling wouldn't let him. Finally he managed to turn that part of his brain off and fall asleep. 

This morning he woke up early and made himself and Dean breakfast before work like he had the week before. It seemed like it was just another part of his routine now. Dean made him smile like crazy, every time he made a joke or complemented him. 

He heard the door slam and he snapped out of his daydream.

He realized class had started and he got up, ready to begin his lesson. Class went by in the blink of an eye. He stopped by Anael's class to say goodbye before heading home. 

"You staying late?" Cas asked. 

"Uh yeah just for a bit though" 

"Do you need any help?" 

"No it's alright, go home while you can" she smiled. 

"Wish you the best of luck grading work" 

"Mmmh, goodbye Castiel" 

"See you" 

He texted Meg on his way out of school. He was suddenly in a good mood. He also texted Dean. He sent him a picture of a fat raccoon with the caption _t_ _o start your Monday of right._ It was the middle of the afternoon but it was still Monday. It was a funny picture of a raccoon stuck in between the arm and seat of a chair. When he stepped outside he felt a strong breeze of hot air.

It was so hot just standing there made him sweat. He sat in his car a while, he waited for the car to cool down. He heard his phone buzz, Dean had answered his text with a gif of a fat cat getting scared by a sock.

He laughed and replied with an emoticon, before driving home. As soon as he got home he got in the shower. 

It was cool and refreshing. He used this time to think about Dean, _again_. It was like he was the only thing his brain wanted to think about. 

He started to think about Dean making him breakfast. And then about him sitting beside him watching movies after dinner. It was going so well, and he started to feel something more than friendship towards him. He was afraid he was going to mess everything up. He didn't want to make Dean feel weird and he _didn't_ want to stop being friends with him. He had to learn to control his emotions around him. He really liked Dean, and because of that he had to stop thinking about him like this. 

He got out of the shower feeling sad. He combed his hair a bit and wiped the upper part of his body. He grabbed his dirty clothes off the floor and walked outside. 

His heart dropped when he saw Dean standing at his door, looking at him with wide eyes. His heart pounded and his face felt like it went up in flames. He could see Dean's eyes working their way up and down his body. He squeezed his clothes tighter around his body and tried breathing. 

"Uh, sorry if I scared you, didn't mean too" 

Cas felt like passing out, he didn't understand why he was feeling so nervous about Dean seeing him naked except for a towel around his waist. 

"Its alright" he said. 

"I just came to grab something" 

Cas nodded, he wanted to turn around and walk back into the restroom. 

Dean smiled and turned around he opened the door and walked inside.

Cas bolted for his room. He closed the door and laughed at himself quietly. He was so red, his face burning hot. He sat on his bed, just thinking about the look on Dean's face made him burn up again. He got dressed and stayed in his room for a little while longer before walking outside. 

He walked downstairs and sat in the corner of the couch closest to the window. He heard Dean come downstairs. He walked past him and into the kitchen.

Cas kept typing. An ad popped up on the website he was on, he smiled as he read it. He felt weird not saying anything. It suddenly felt so awkward. So he got an idea.

"Dean?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Uh I was wondering if you wanted to go eat pie?"

"Where?" Dean popped his head out from the kitchen. 

Cas laughed, he had the cutest face ever, "There's one of those pie fairs not to far from here, I just read something about it" 

"Well what are we waiting for?" 

Cas got up and walked to the hall to put on his shoes. 

They drove to a quiet part of town. But as they got closer to the closed off roads, it was anything but quiet. The laughter of kids filled the air. And there was music coming from everywhere. It was mid afternoon and the sun was still out shining brightly on the colorful stands. 

They got out of the car and walked a block back.

They met Sam and Jess at the entrance. 

"Hey, Cas" Sam said. 

"Hello Sam, Jess"

"Come here dude" she pulled him close for a halfway hug.

He smiled, he got a powerful smell of her shampoo it smelled like baked cookies. 

All four of them walked towards the noise after greeting each other. Cas was walking beside Sam in between Dean and Jess. 

Sam looked at him, "I'm really here to make sure Dean doesn't eat everything, if he could he would" 

"I heard that" Dean said. 

"Wasn't like I lied" 

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah" 

"Boys" Jess tugged on Sam's shoulder. 

"What?" they said at the same time. 

Cas and Jess chuckled, Cas thought it was the best thing. 

They walked down every stand on the left first. They tried every pie they could. Cas was amazed at how much Dean could eat. Sam and Jess shared and he did with Dean. He thought Dean wasn't going to want to but he did, he even let him eat first. Cas only took one bite and let Dean eat the rest. He wanted to save some room for more. 

"I say you eat it all" Sam teased. 

"Yeah, and have him murder me no thanks" Cas teased back. 

Sam laughed. 

"Is he bothering you?" Jessed asked.

She had raspberry filling all over her cheeks. 

"Of course not" Sam said he smiled and cleaned her cheek with his thumb. 

Jess raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Come one" Dean shouted.

He was a few feet in front of them.

"He walks fast" Cas said. 

"Only for food" Jess answered. 

They continued eating their way through the day. It was around 7:45, when they turned on the lights. They were small bulbs hanging all over the place. They were almost back at the entrance again, once they finished the left side they walked back up on the right. They were at the last stand on the right side when Cas remembered he had to do something. 

"I'll be right back" he said. 

He turned around and walked to the fifth stand on the left. The nice old lady on that stand made the best cherry pies in his opinion. Throughout the day he had tried a lot but hers was the one that stood out from the rest. He bought two pies from her and headed back to his friends. 

"Thank you" Jess said. 

"Of course" He took the other one from behind his back. 

"And this one's for you" he said with a big smile on his face. He handed it to Dean. 

"Awsome, thanks Cas" Dean had the hugest smile on his face, he looked so cute. 

Cas nodded. 

They drove to Jess and Sam's house and had dinner with them. Jess made baby ribs and rice. It was delicious. 

"So Cas has Dean been bothering you?" Jess asked. 

"Not really" 

"Good" she smiled. 

"How's work been" Sam asked. 

"It's been good, stressful at times but good over all" 

Dean's mouth was stuffed with food, he asked "Have people stopped staring at you" 

"Kind of it's not as much as last week" 

"Mmm" Dean nodded. 

"Hey, what's been going on with Meg?" Jess asked. 

"Oh she's been busy working, she's applying for three colleges for next semester, and to some programs" 

"That's great! I was going to tell you that they're looking for interns at the hospital I work in, if she's interested this could look good on her resume" 

Cas nodded, "I'll tell her" 

They continued catching up with one another. He told Sam and Jess about Anael. He was having the best time ever with all of them. He felt like he belonged with them, like he was a part of their family. 

He told them a bit out when he was growing up because it seemed like something they were talking about a the moment. 

He told them how he grew up without his mother and his father left him and his brother all alone. They had been living with their aunt Amara, she wasn't the closest. She was a very busy woman who was always traveling for work. They lived with her until Gabriel was old enough and had the money for them to move out. He had always been working too, which is why he's kind of used to it. He actually hadn't heard from her in about 4 years. He knew she was probably too busy to talk with them, or maybe she had wanted to, but couldn't reach them. 

After dinner and a sort of heavy conversation they sat in the living room for a while. Jess walked into a small closet and came out with a board game. They sat in a circle on the floor. You had to roll the dice to move however many spaces. The places you could land on had little images. Some would send you right back to the beginning, others made you stay where you were for two rounds. The goal was to be the first at the center. 

They played a couple of times and Cas won both times. They headed home around 9. Cas was tired but happy, he got changed, got ready for bed and joined Dean downstairs for the weather report. Dean said one of the reasons he liked to watch the report was for the reporter. 

"I used to think he was cute" 

Cas laughed, he realized what Dean had said seconds later. 

Dean thought the weather reporter was _cute_ , cute? That isn't something you would normally say unless you were joking around or were attracted to someone. Cas's face started to burn up, Dean was attracted to a _guy_ , his heart was racing now and he breathed in calming himself. _So he likes guys, big deal,_ Cas thought.

But it _was_ a big deal. Cas didn't want to admit it to himself but maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something. If he let himself there could be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR READING! I apologize for posting sort of late, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.  
> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to ask Cas if he's gay or not but he has no clue how. It's getting pretty painful to look at him without being able to touch him in the way he wants, he has to grow a pair and ask so he can make his move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys have a great day, and enjoy chapter 13🥰

Dean was under a car, he was checking on the engine making sure everything was in order. He had been working on this car for a while now. He was so focused on not getting the oil all over himself again, he was startled with Sam's question. 

"So, what's been going on with you and Cas?" 

Dean rolled out from underneath the car and sat up. He turned off the small flashlight in his hand. 

"Nothing" he wiped some of the sweat off his forehead, "Why?"

"You guys just seem very close now" Sam said, he was working on something in the hood of a car. He turned the wrench, tightening a bolt. 

"Well, he have been living together" 

"I know but it seems different" Sam turned to look at him now.

"We've had time to get to know one another" Dean said simply.

"You're not catching feelings for him are you?" 

Dean stiffened, "Why not?" He didn't understand what Sam meant by that, there was nothing wrong with having a crush. 

"There's nothing wrong, I just don't want you to get hurt" Sam looked down for a second, he looked like he was trying to choose his words wisely. Dean figured Sam didn't want to upset him, he was trying to talk to him in the most calm way possible. 

"I won't" 

"I hope so Dean, one year sometimes isn't enough to forget about a person like that, and those feelings" Sam said quietly. 

"I'm not using him as rebound" 

"I didn't say that- I just- just meant maybe you didn't have enough time to move on" Dean looked down, he didn't like bringing him up.

It was a touchy subject. He was 100 percent sure, he wasn't using Cas as a rebound. That was the last thing he could ever do. He was completely over Lee. He hated his guts and didn't want him anywhere near him. He could feel anger begin to form in his stomach. 

Just thinking about him made him angry. He hated it, he knew exactly how he felt when he was around Cas it was completely different than what he felt with Lee. They had only dated for about a year, but he was lost with Cas and they had only known each other for a week and they weren't even dating. 

The thought of him and Cas dating made his stomach churn with joy, he could feel the brief anger in his stomach die down. Sam looked up at him, he continued, "but maybe I was wrong about worrying, you seem better now, Cas seems to be helping"

"Yeah, he's been great" he said, a faint smile growing on his face.

"I can tell, have you asked him out?" Sam asked suddenly. 

"I don't even know if he's into guys" 

Sam's eyes widened, "I thought you might have asked him already, you're _way_ to slow dude"

"Shut up"

Sam chuckled, "When are you going to ask?" 

"I dunno" he shrugged. He honestly didn't know, he was afraid of being rejected. But he was more afraid of not saying anything and losing him. He didn't want to miss his chance to be with him and for someone else to take him away. Jealousy, a slight bit of it was creeping into him. 

"If you're to chicken I'll ask him for you, who knows, maybe he'll take me on" he grinned.

"Yeah right, Jess would kill you" 

He shrugged, "It'll be your loss, I'm sure she'll be okay with it" 

Dean chuckled. He loved being able to talk with his brother about his problems. He somehow always found a way to make things better. 

"But seriously man, if you want I'll ask him" 

Dean nodded, "I'll see" 

There was silence. He should tell Cas how he felt, but he just didn't know how or when.

They each turned back to continue what they were doing. Except now Dean was lost in thought of how he'd ask Cas if he was into guys. He could show him pictures and ask him if they were cute, maybe ask him who's hotter. He could ask him his opinion on gay people. He didn't want to be awkward about it, but he didn't know what to do. 

During their lunch break Bobby was telling them about hiring someone to help him with delivering parts so he could open it up to other businesses. Dean kept spacing out, he could stop thinking about Cas. What if he wasn't into guys? He'd have to hold onto his impossible crush forever. He didn't think he could. Just barely spending one week, constantly thinking about kissing him almost every time he saw him was killing him.

The rest of the day was slow. He and Sam pulled spare parts from the old trashed cars and pilled the pieces of scrap metal. They rolled wheels into the shed. And helped clean out the crushed cars for more space. He took a small break and headed inside the house to get something to drink. 

He turned his phone on and saw a text from Jo. He replied and she answered almost immediately. He got sucked into a conversation which he had no idea how long it had lasted. What he did know was he had spent half of it talking about Cas. He went back and realized he sounded obviously interested in him. He tried not to make it even more obvious, but she caught on anyway.

JO: you know you can tell me if you two are going out

DEAN: never said that

JO: sure seems like it 

DEAN: not the case

JO: you plan asking him out?

He wondered whether or not to tell her but she was his friend and maybe she could help him out. 

DEAN: yeah 

DEAN: I'm just worried 

JO: what? why?

DEAN: what if he's not into me, into men? 

JO: I'm sure you can turn a straight guy gay

DEAN: Hahahaha

JO: seriously, what's there not to like about you? You're awesome Dean you care about people _a lot_ sometimes you can be clingy but in a good way :) JO: and it doesn't hurt that you can make a mean burger 

DEAN: don't be going all soft on me now

JO: whatever dude -_-

JO: don't stress too much I'm sure it'll all go well and if it doesn't I'm here for you :D

DEAN: thanks :) DEAN: You're coming home this weekend right? 

JO: Hell yeah! Can't wait to see you guys again. JO: Tell me has Sam's hair grown since I've been gone?

DEAN: Like you wouldn't believe 

JO: hahaha JO: still remember you promised me a party? 

DEAN: how could I forget, I can't wait to show you the house 

JO: from what I've heard it's beautiful 

DEAN: I have so many people to thank for ruining the surprise 

JO: Still hope you'll show me around, and... JO: introduce me to Cas

DEAN: of course 

JO: great! I've heard soooooo much about him and he seems like a pretty great guy. JO: you wouldn't shut up about him

DEAN: whatever JO: :>

Dean looked up from his phone, Sam was calling him and he knew his break was over. 

DEAN: he is great :D. DEAN: hurry up and come home already. DEAN: Sam's calling so I'll text you later 

JO: alright see ya

DEAN: bye 

Dean walked back outside with two water bottles one for Sam and one for Bobby. All three of them continued clearing out the back of the junkyard. Sam left before Dean he was going to take Jess some food because she was going to be working late. He and Bobby finished closing up. 

"How have things been going?" Bobby asked.

"Good" Dean said. 

Bobby finished sweeping up some broken glass. He smiled and nodded, "I'm glad everything's working out for you Dean" 

"Yeah me too." He thought back on everything that had been going on, and it _truly_ was going great. Dean helped him pick up the glass and then they headed inside his house. He changed out of his suit and washed up. He came downstairs and said goodbye, before driving home. 

He was admiring the scenery while driving when he remembered about a small incident that had happened the day before. His brain had magically remembered the moment. He had seen Cas naked, with only a towel covering the bottom part of his body. He closed his eyes for a second, he could see Castiel's flustered face. Cas wasn't ripped or anything but he had a nice body. His biceps were more noticeable and his chest had a bit of muscle. He remembered how awkward it had seemed, especially since the part of him between his legs had become alive. 

After walking into his room and closing the door, he leaned on it trying to calm himself down. He was blushing for the very first time in a long time. He told himself it was no big deal, when in reality it was, he didn't want Cas to see he was turned on by him. He didn't want to creep him out. He had seen all the skin under his shirt for the first time. He was covered in tiny beads of water, that only made it hotter. His skin looked so smooth and soft, he wanted to run his fingers down his side over his ribs and then wrap his hands onto his waist. 

He opened his eyes, he felt his cheeks rise with heat, he cleared his throat. He turned in his seat. He knew if he thought about it too much his downstairs brain would start to do the thinking. He smiled as he thought about him, and how _he_ had asked _him_ out afterward. 

Sure it wasn't an actual date but he did ask him to go somewhere and even though it wasn't just the two of them, it was like a date. A double date, the thought of having more of these " _dates_ " filled him with joy. He loved spending time with Sam and Jess, but only now he wouldn't have to be the third wheel, he'd have someone to bring along too. 

When he pulled up to the driveway he saw another car besides Cas's he wondered who's it was, maybe Cas had a friend over? He shut off Baby and walked up the porch. As soon as he stepped into the house waves of smells crashed onto him. It smelled like he had just walked into a bakery, with fresh bread out of the oven. It also smelled like pizza. He hung his keys and jacket and walked to the kitchen. Cas was standing at the kitchen sink with his back turned. He was looking out the window. 

"Hey, Cas" Dean said, looking around the kitchen trying to find the source of the smell. 

Cas turned and smiled nervously, "Hello, Dean" He looked back out the window and then at him. He walked closer. "I hope you don't mind, my uh, brother came over" 

"Gabriel?" Dean asked. 

"Yeah, that's the one, he sort of showed up unexpectedly" 

"Where's he at?" 

"Outside he wanted to check out the backyard" 

Dean walked over to the glass doors and saw the back of a man with brown hair, it was long almost like Sam's but slightly shorter. He had a blue purple leather jacket, and worn out jeans. 

"Reminds me of someone" Dean said turning to face Cas. 

Cas cracked a grin "Yeah, except he's not very tall" 

Dean laughed, "Mind if I go say hi?" 

"Not at all" Dean grinned and walked outside. Cas was right he wasn't all that tall. Must have been around 5'8, Cas was a few inches taller. 

"Hey" Dean said standing beside him. 

He turned to greet Dean. 

"So, you're Dean huh?" 

"Uh- yeah" Dean felt intimidated. The way he had said his name made him feel studied. He was suddenly nervous under Gabriel's gaze. 

"Well I've only got one thing to say, you better-"

"Gabriel" 

Dean turned, he saw Cas standing at the glass doorway. He had a sideways smile and his arms were crossed. He let them fall to his sides as he walked closer. "Don't let him scare you, he's only playing around" Cas said with a warm smile. 

Dean let out a huff. _Yeah right, I feel like he's trying to decide if I'm worthy._ He turned to look at Gabriel, he was smiling now. 

"Like Cassie said I'm only playing" he stuck his hand out, "Gabriel" 

Dean nodded and took his hand. Gabriel had a mischievous aura, but he seemed alright now. 

"You got a real nice house" 

"Yeah, I think I made the right choice" 

"Cas hasn't been annoying you has he?" 

Cas scoffed. 

"Nope, best roommate ever" Dean said truthfully. 

"Good, I hope you don't mind me dropping by, just wanted to check on Cas and see how he was doing." 

"Not at all, if there's something I understand is an older brother worrying about his little brother." 

"Yep, especially with a little brother like Cas" 

Cas's eyebrows furrowed. 

"What? Anyone could take you away, with those baby blues" 

Cas sighed, "I'm going to go check on dinner" 

Dean grinned, Gabriel wasn't wrong, _anyone_ could be swept away by Cas and his beautiful eyes. But the thought of Cas with _anyone_ bothered him, it made him stiffen. He didn't want Cas going around and being with some random person who could take him away, away from _him._

He and Gabriel talked, but he would turn around and glance at the kitchen window, as if to make sure Cas was still there. He didn't understand why he was doing it, it was like a newfound habit. He kept spacing out during half the conversation, he kept thinking, what if someone took him from him? What would he do then? Everything, he would do everything he could to make sure that didn't happen.

Cas had made spaghetti stuffed garlic bread. It was the reason why the house had smelled so good when he came home. They looked so good too, the top was covered in melted mozzarella cheese. His mouth was watering. He looked at Cas and he chuckled. Cas had clearly seen the small drool at the corner of his mouth. 

He helped Cas set up the food and plates on the breakfast bar for them to eat dinner once Gabriel came back from the restroom. 

"I could have helped you make dinner" Dean said, taking out three beers from the refrigerator. 

"I know" Cas said, kindly. 

"Does he drink?" Dean asked, realizing he didn't have anything else but beer to drink. 

"Yeah, although I won't let him too much" 

Dean felt bad, he had to get other stuff to drink, and a dinner table. "He's pretty cool" Dean said. 

"Yeah, he thinks so" Cas grinned. 

"How was work?"

"A bit stressful at the start but throughout the day it got better" 

"That's good" 

"How was yours?"

"A bit slow, but good over all, had a lot of fun moving around broken cars" 

"Hmm, sounds interesting" 

"I guess, I get a lot of muscle moving all those heavy cars" Dean said flexing his bicep. 

Cas laughed, his cheeks got a bit red too. 

"Of course, Mr. Muscles, could you take this to the sink" 

Dean took the dirty spoon and plate to the sink, he was smiling at Cas for teasing him. 

"Anything else, sunshine?" 

Cas blushed hard, and when he spoke he sounded way too embarrassed. It was adorable. "Yes, actually, care to take out the garlic bread from the oven?" 

Dean walked to the oven, he felt the heat radiate and hit him in the face like a football. He groaned, and bent down and took the plate out with a piece of cloth. He placed it on the counter, Cas walked over and begun serving each plate. 

"Don't be a baby, it not _that_ hot" he said smiling. 

Dean chuckled and bumped into him, making him chuckle.

Gabriel was actually fun to have around. Dean thought he'd be intimidated by him like before but that wasn't the case. Dean thought he might as well have been a comedian.

They got along well the more he got to know him the more he realized he could relate. They had both lost their parents, and had grown very close with their younger siblings. Gabriel and Castiel seemed so different yet alike. Cas was quieter and more reserved, Gabriel was more outgoing and definitely loud. Gabriel's eyes were a deep green while Cas's were a bright blue. They both shared the cocky grin and good looks. Castiel was caring and so helpful, Dean got the feeling Gabriel was too, he just needed a little time to come around.

He smiled as he saw the two brothers argue over something small. He couldn't imagine anything better than Cas being defensive and pouty. 

Cas's spaghetti stuffed garlic bread was _awesome_. It tasted so good, and he wasn't short in complementing him and his food. If Cas cooked dinner for him every day he wouldn't mind at all, it would be the best thing in the world. 

They finished dinner and moved their conversation to the living room. 

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" Cas said. 

"At least it's not peanut butter and bananas" Dean said. 

"Who eats that?" Gabriel asked. 

"My brother" Dean laughed. 

"Wow, mine would be any type of candy bar" 

"That's not even a snack" Cas argued. 

"Uhhh, I think it is" Gabriel said rolling his eyes. 

Dean chuckled, "I'm going with jerky" 

Cas smiled and nodded.

Gabriel leaned back on the armchair, "Alright, how about favorite music genre?" 

"Rock" Dean answered almost immediately. 

"Gonna go with Dean" Cas said. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and then wiggled his eyebrows at Cas. Dean looked at Cas, he was shooting Gabriel a glance of death. 

Gabriel let out a snicker and said, "Whatever, you guys are lame" 

Dean drank from his beer, he wondered what they were saying to each other. They talked for a while longer before Gabriel left. He and Cas walked him out. Gabriel gave him a pat on the back before hugging Cas and saying his goodbye. 

After he had driven off the driveway they turned to walk to the patio. They quietly sat outside across from each other, enjoying the peaceful wind and color of the sky. It was dark out but not so dark that you couldn't see anything. 

He had turned on the lights outside. He could hear the faint sound of crickets and the wind blowing through the trees from the neighboring houses. He looked at Cas, at that same moment Cas turned to look at him. His loving smile filled him with warmth. He felt his heart fill with joy looking at him, it was blissful. That smile Cas always gave him seemed to be reserved for only him. When others were around Cas would smile at them warmly, but it was different. 

He wanted more than anything to hold him. Dean was longing to hold him by the waist. To feel Cas pressed against him, in a tight hug. It was all he wanted at that moment, to hold him tightly and breath him in. For it to be just the two of them for as long as possible. He could deny it all he wanted but the truth was he was falling in love with Cas. 

Cas made him smile, he made him laugh, he made him _happy_. He felt like happy wasn't even the right word to describe all the joy he felt around him. Cas had come into his life and turned it around. He made his day brighter no matter what he did. Dean had even forgotten what it felt like to be lonely. He was spending so much time with him that his mind stopped thinking the sad lonely thoughts he was always thinking. They were replaced with joyful ones. He thought about him all the time now. He didn't miss coming home to his sad apartment, sitting down in the two person table, heating up whatever leftovers he had sitting in the fridge. He was so happy to have someone to share dinner with, to share his couch and his jokes. To share a laugh and smile, which he had been doing more so than usual. 

He smiled lovingly at Cas.

He looked so good, he was illuminated by the bright fairy lights above their heads. Dean was right, they did look like fireflies. He inhaled deeply, Cas was way too good to be a real thing, and for it to happened to him, of all people. He decided now was his chance to ask Cas what he had been wondering for a long time.

"Hey Cas?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I'm sorry if this weird, but- uh- how do you feel about gay people? 

"What do you mean?" 

"I don't know, um what's your opinion on them?" 

"Oh, well, I'm gay so...I dont mind at all" 

Dean's heart jumped with joy. _Fuck yeah,_ Cas was into guys that meant nothing could stop him from telling him how he felt. He just had to figure out how to say it. He had the biggest smile on his face, and he knew Cas could see it. 

"What is it?" he asked him. 

"Nothing, I'm gay too, well bi but I'm still into dudes so..." Dean shrugged Cas smiled and his face reddened.

"You wanna go have a few drinks tomorrow?" Dean asked. 

"Tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, I mean unless you don't want to or you're busy" 

"No, tomorrow sounds good, just don't expect me to drink too much" 

Dean laughed, "I won't either then, I just kinda want to introduce you to someone" 

"Oh, okay" Cas said shyly. 

Dean smiled, he was so happy things were moving along so well. He was going to tell Cas soon, maybe even tomorrow after he met Ellen. He was going to have everyone over this weekend and he wanted them all to meet before hand to make it less strange. 

"I'm gonna have a few people over on Sunday, Jo a friend of mine is coming home and I promised I'd throw her a welcome home party" Dean said.

"That's cool, she's the one that left on the exchange program?" 

"Yeah, I didn't think I'd mentioned her?" 

"You did, a few times, when we first met you told me a bit about your friends" 

"Wow, I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday" 

Cas laughed, the one that made Dean join him. 

"Well, it helps to have a good memory with a job like mine" 

"Yeah, I guess so" 

"So, this person I'm gonna meet, do I need to be prepared" 

"What do you mean" 

"I've got a suit? Should I wear that?" He had a grin on his face. 

"Nah, I'm sure if you did she'd think you were some kind of weirdo who accidentally stepped into her bar" 

"I guess wearing a suit to a bar isn't the best idea, is she the one who owns the bar you showed me, the Roadhouse?" 

"Yup, she's like a mother to me and Sam" 

"That's great, you must be really close" 

"Yeah, our dad knew her, so does Bobby, we sort of got to know her through him" 

"Well, I can't wait to meet her" he smiled. So did Dean. 

"You want to go inside?" Dean asked. A strong breeze of wind blew on his back. Cas's nose was red, and his lips were red, with a tiny bit of saliva. He swallowed and got up. 

"Yeah" Cas answered.

He got up and together they walked inside. They sat together on the couch watching the weather report. He wasn't really paying a lot of attention, he was more interested in how close he and Cas were sitting. Their knees and thighs were touching. They were sitting closely in the middle surrounded by empty space. He didn't want to get up after the report had finished but they had to get to work tomorrow and he wouldn't want to get up if he went to sleep late. 

He let Cas lead them upstairs after shutting off the lights. He walked Cas to the restroom before walking to his room. He turned and saw Cas staring at him, waiting for him to go into his room. He smiled one last time before closing the door behind him. 

He went into the bathroom slipped into his sweats, brushed his teeth, washed his face and headed to bed. He rolled around for a bit, he was thinking about the confirmation Cas had given him, he really could win him over. He was so freaking happy he fell asleep thinking about them finally together, he would get to kiss him. It was what he wanted to do for so long, he imagined how it would feel.

He wondered how Cas would taste, if his lips were as good as they looked. He wanted to kiss every inch of his skin. And run his fingers through his hair. He imagined the feeling of holding him by the hair as he pulled his head back exposing the skin on his neck, placing short kisses and sucking on his skin so hard it would leave a mark. 

He squeezed his legs tight, he didn't want his growing erection because then he'd have to jerk off. And of course it would be to Cas because who else drove him so crazy he thought about him all the time. So crazy he dreamt about him. He lay on his stomach and pressed his face on his pillow. He sighed and closed his eyes. 

He dreamt about Cas that night. And of course it was a dirty dream. He was holding Cas's waist pressing their bodies together as he came. It was so _hot,_ he kept thinking. And after they were done, they lay in bed holding each other. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest. His warm soft hand on his chest, moving his finger in circles. Dean placed kisses along his temple, and inhaled the sweet smell of his hair.

This was just what he wanted and he was gonna do everything he could to get it, and _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 😊


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is the happiest he's ever been, Dean takes him out and it's all going great. He's gotta make up his mind, does he want to keep whatever's going on between them to keep going? One thing is for sure he's fallen for his roomate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep/Soft chapter I dont go into too much detail about a past abusive relationship in this chapter but it might be a trigger for some.

"Are you gonna tell me or not?" 

"About what?" 

Meg raised an eyebrow, "Come on Cas, you didn't just come over because of what Jess said" 

"What do you mean it's important" 

"Yeah, it is but you could have told me over the phone, so tell me" 

Cas sighed, he leaned back on Meg's small couch. He really hadn't come over just to tell her that Jess had saved her a spot for the internship. He wanted to talk to someone about how he was feeling. About everything that was going on between he and Dean, or what _wasn't_ going on. And who better than his best friend. 

This morning while they were having breakfast Dean said something that affected him greatly, he was sure Dean hadn't meant to say it, at least not outloud. He didn't know how to respond, he just sat there like and idiot too stunned to speak. He felt so dumb, he was tripping over his words and his face was burning. He couldn't wipe away the blushing smile from his face afterwards. He practically ran out the front door after grabbing the rest of his things, shouting back a goodbye to Dean who was sitting in the kitchen probably laughing at him. 

It was when he was in his car that he realized how girly he was acting, like a high school girl after her crush flashed her a smile. He took his phone out and saw a text from Dean. He had forgotten his keys inside and instead of going back in to get them Dean came out. He walked toward his car, a grin on his face. Cas rolled down the window and he took the keys from him. 

Dean said something to him and Cas was completely sure Dean was flirting with him now. He hadn't been flirted with in a long time, at least not in a way that made him react like he was to Dean. His stupid stutter came back and Dean just grinned even wider. He winked at him before walking back into the house. 

He wanted to slam his head on the wheel. _Why_ _was_ _he so flustered_? Instead of driving to work like he always did he drove to Meg's first. He knew she had the morning free today. He wanted to see her and tell her about everything. Maybe she knew what to do. 

"Clarence?" 

"Right, so- uh- I think I like Dean" 

Meg's expression shifted she smiled, "Well that's a surprise" she was grinning now.

Cas felt his blush begin to rise, "Shut up" 

Meg chuckled, "It's alright Cas, you were eventually going to have a crush on him" 

He nodded. He knew it too, and he had tried not to but it was useless to deny it now. 

"Think he likes me?" Cas asked. 

"Oh, for sure" 

Cas raised his eyebrow. 

"Who wouldn't, your like a baby, everyone loves babies, besides you're cute and funny, and a nerd, dorky sometimes but it's honestly adorable and let's not forget about those blue eyes of yours" 

"He said something about my eyes too" 

Meg laughed, "Of course he did" 

Cas smiled, "I think he's flirting with me, he asked if I knew how beautiful my eyes were and then he said _I_ was so beautiful. And of course I was caught off guard and stuttered like a teenager." 

Meg laughed even harder, "I think you should flirt back, see how he likes it, and yeah I'm _completely_ sure he likes you" 

Cas smiled and nodded. 

"Don't think about it too much okay? You like him that's okay, he likes you that's okay, I'm sure you'll both figure it out" she gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't let that brain of yours lose control, that's what I'm here for" 

"Thanks Meg, you know? Your not to bad at giving advice" 

"Damn right, I'm the best" 

She gave him a tight hug, before he walked out of her apartment, down the hall and into his car. She was right, the best thing was to let things head where they were going. He promised himself to try the hardest he's ever tried to not think too much about everything. He had done it way too many times and it didn't end well. 

He drove to work with half a brain. He kept thinking of the possibility of him telling Dean how he felt. Meg told him Dean liked him and he believed it too, but what if it wasn't what it seemed. Maybe he was just teasing him the way friends sometimes do. Although he knew friends rarely complemented each other that way, and besides it hadn't felt like friendly tease. 

He grabbed his book back and slipped his laptop inside. He grabbed his coffee and got out of his car. He walked across the campus to his classroom and drank his coffee to keep warm. It was a cold morning he wished he would have packed a bigger sweater. Something he had to get used to in Lawrence was that it would be cold in the mornings and then it would get warmer in the afternoon, but he didn't complain as much because it was typical weather for spring. And he loved spring.

He walked into his class and set up his stuff for the day. He was impressed by his first class. Usually class would get off to a slow start due to kids coming in every minute, distracting everyone. They would talk and argue and throw things around. He actually got a pretty good discussion going on with his students. He was smiling more than he usually did with this class. 

"Can anyone tell me what this phrase translates to in English?" 

" _Mors tua, vita mea,_ Your death? My life?" 

"Very good, now, we're going to be reading short stories that include phrases like these, many are about life and death, and who knows maybe we'll read some poems" 

Half of the class groaned, it was quiet but he heard it clear as day. 

"Yeah, yeah, now can all of you turn to page 54 on your Latin textbook, and take out your sheets with the Latin prefixes" 

The rest of the class went by smoothly. He didn't have any problems getting through his lesson. He was in a reasonably good mood. He headed out and walked to Anael's room when class finished.

"Hello, Anael" he said walking over to her desk. 

"Cas! I was about to head over to your class, you seem to be in a good mood" 

"Yeah, today just seems to be a good day" he smiled widely. 

"I'm glad, you wanna get lunch together?" 

"Yes, of course" 

She smiled grabbed her small wallet and they walked to Cas's car. 

"We can take my car if you want?" She said pointing at her car a few parking spots away. 

"It's alright, we can take mine" 

She walked over to the other side of the car, Cas started his car, and they headed over to a Taco bell near the campus. They both ordered fiesta taco salads, along with two cold sodas. They sat at a table after they had gotten their order. 

"Have things between you and your roommate been good?" Anael asked as she chewed on the crunchy tortilla. 

"Uh- yeah" he drank from his soda. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, he's been very nice" _too nice._

"If you say so" She raised an eyebrow and took another bite of the tortilla. 

"Everything's been good between us, It's just me and my insecurity"

"About what? If you don't mind me asking?" 

Cas thought about it, he didn't have a problem talking about it as long as they didn't go too deep, then he was sure he'd cry. 

"Just feel like there might be something going on between us if I'm not imagining it and I'm not sure if it's okay to keep it going"

"Oh, I get it" Anael said quietly. 

Castiel wasn't sure if he wanted to keep talking with Anael about this, she seemed to get sad, she probably _did_ know what it felt like to get heartbroken.

"I went through something like that too, well maybe not exactly the same but it was painful." 

Cas nodded encouragingly.

"I uh- had a boyfriend a few years back and he wasn't bad at first, but as time went by he showed me who he truly was. He would say a lot of messed up things to me and then he thought with a simple apology everything would be fixed" Anaels voice went from quiet to firm, it wasn't anger it was strength. "I ended things with him as soon as I started noticing he followed me everywhere, I didn't want it to get worse and right after we broke up, he insulted me, he- he almost _hit_ me, but before he could I punched him in the face and ran out of his apartment, after that I decided to move because I didn't want something horrible to happen to me like I'd seen happen to others. I came here and started over agian. It was a few years ago, but I still think about it sometimes and what would have happened if I didn't stop things when I did."

Cas gave Anael a comforting smile. He felt so bad for what happened to her but he also felt a sense of pride for her. She had stood up to him and defended herself. In his opinion she was one of the toughest people ever. She did what others may have been too afraid to do.

"You're incredibly strong AnaeI, guess I wasn't as strong as you, it always gets to me" 

"It got to me for a long time too, but with a little help and company I allowed myself to try again and I did, I met someone and we went on a few dates, I realized I still wasn't ready for that kind of interaction, I remained friends with him though and it's been great" She smiled really wide and it made Castiel's heart warm. 

"That's great Anael, I'm happy for you" 

She smiled, "Yeah, and I understand how _you_ might feel right now, the most important thing is that you don't feel pressured, and if he's worth it he'll wait" 

He smiled and nodded, he didn't feel pressured when he was Dean. It felt almost normal, he just got flustered easily. And if he was, he was sure Dean would wait until he was ready. He just seemed like the type, sure he liked to tease and flirt but Cas could tell he was really sweet. And that made Castiel even happier. 

They were rather quiet while they ate the rest of the food. Making small talk seemed just a bit harder, he didn't know what to talk about after what Anael has said. They finished eating before heading to the car and driving back to campus. 

The rest of the day was just as great as the beginning. His second and third classes went by quickly. He would space out in between speaking. Some of his students asked him if he was okay, a few times. He was, he was just busy thinking. 

He wanted to tell Dean how he felt but he was so worried. He didn't know why he was like this. It helped to think about how things would be if he told him, of course the positive things. Dean would be able to hold him and tell him such sweet things. He craved more than anything his touch. He didn't like thinking about that because it had only made his emotions harder to hold back. But with them together, Cas would be able to be closer, more intimate. 

Thinking about a step further, intimacy in the bed made his stomach flutter, he wasn't sure he was ready, do to what happened before. He had wondered before how it would feel to kiss Dean. To hold his face and inhale him deeply, melting onto him, to be able to get the best sense of Dean's smell. He wanted to hold his perfectly shaped face, running his fingers down his jaw, and through his hair. Especially his bed hair, Cas had a soft spot for it, it made every morning better, watching as Dean woke up and got ready to start the day. He was adorable in the mornings barely being able to open his eyes, and sipping his coffee at first before fully drinking it. 

He was so excited when he started his drive home. He had almost forgotten Dean asked him out. Well, maybe not like that, but he asked him to go for a few drinks. He did want to introduce him to someone who was like his mother. It felt a little to real, but he didn't mind at all as long as he spent time with Dean. As soon as he got home he got in the shower, he sang again. And it didn't feel strange anymore, seeing as he did it a lot more now than before.

Before getting out of the restroom, he opened the door just a crack. He wanted to make sure Dean wasn't home yet, he didn't want the incident that happened a few days ago to repeat itself. 

He was combing his hair, when he remembered about yesterday. When Dean had come out to him and he had to Dean. When Dean had first asked him, he was sure it was because of what he had said the day before of thinking that the reporter was cute.

That thought made him flinch, he laughed at himself, he knew what it was, _jealously_. He had no right to be jealous after all they weren't together, _yet._ He starred at himself through the mirror, why was he thinking like that? He was getting ahead of himself, but then again would it really be that bad to let Dean in. He did want to be with him like that, he had realized that not a minute ago. But what if he got hurt again? _No_ he told himself, I said I wouldn't he smiled at himself. 'It's okay to have feelings for s

"Are you gonna tell me or not?" 

"About what?" 

Meg raised an eyebrow, "Come on Cas, you didn't just come over because of what Jess said" 

"What do you mean it's important" 

"Yeah, it is but you could have told me over the phone, so tell me" 

Cas sighed, he leaned back on Meg's small couch. He really hadn't come over just to tell her that Jess had saved her a spot for the internship. He wanted to talk to someone about how he was feeling. About everything that was going on between he and Dean, or what 'wasn't' going on. 

And who better than his best friend. 

This morning while they were having breakfast Dean said something that affected him greatly, he was sure Dean hadn't meant to say it, at least not outloud. He didn't know how to respond, he just sat there like and idiot too stunned to speak.

He felt so dumb, he was tripping over his words and his face was burning. He couldn't wipe away the blushing smile from his face afterwards. He practically ran out the front door after grabbing the rest of his things, shouting back a goodbye to Dean who was sitting in the kitchen probably laughing at him. 

It was when he was in his car that he realized how girly he was acting, like a high school girl after her crush flashed her a smile. He took his phone out and saw a text from Dean. He had forgotten his keys inside and instead of going back in to get them Dean came out. He walked toward his car, a grin on his face. Cas rolled down the window and he took the keys from him. 

Dean said something to him and Cas was completely sure Dean was flirting with him now. He hadn't been flirted with in a long time, at least not in a way that made him react like he was to Dean. 

His stupid stutter came back and Dean just grinned even wider. He winked at him before walking back into the house. 

He wanted to slam his head on the wheel. 

'Why was he so flustered?'

Instead of driving to work like he always did he drove to Meg's first. He knew she had the morning free today. He wanted to see her and tell her about everything. Maybe she knew what to do. 

"Clarence?" 

"Right, so- uh- I think I like Dean" 

Meg smiled, "Well that's a surprise" she was grinning now.

Cas felt his blush begin to rise, "Shut up" 

Meg chuckled, "It's alright Cas, you were eventually going to have a crush on him" 

He nodded. He knew it too, and he had tried not to but it was useless to deny it now. 

"Think he likes me?" Cas asked. 

"Oh, for sure" 

Cas raised his eyebrow. 

"Who wouldn't, your like a baby, everyone loves babies, you're cute and funny, and a nerd, dorky sometimes but it's honestly adorable and let's not forget about those blue eyes of yours" 

"He said something about my eyes too" 

Meg laughed, "Of course he did" 

Cas smiled, "I think he's flirting with me, he asked if I knew how beautiful my eyes were and then he said 'I' was so beautiful. And of course I was caught off guard and stuttered like a teenager." 

Meg laughed even harder, "I think you should flirt back, see how he likes it, and yeah I'm 'completely' sure he likes you" 

Cas smiled and nodded. 

"Don't think about it too much okay? You like him that's okay, he likes you that's okay, I'm sure you'll both figure it out" she gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't let that brain of yours lose control, that's what I'm here for" 

"Thanks Meg, you know? Your not to bad at giving advice" 

"Damn right, I'm the best" 

She gave him a tight hug, before he walked out of her apartment, down the hall and into his car. 

She was right, the best thing was to let things head where they were going. He promised himself to try the hardest he's ever tried to not think too much about everything. He had done it way too many times and it didn't end well. 

He drove to work with half a brain. He kept thinking of the possibility of him telling Dean how he felt. Meg told him Dean liked him and he believed it too, but what if it wasn't what it seemed. Maybe he was just teasing him the way friends sometimes do. Although he knew friends rarely complemented each other that way, and besides it hadn't felt like friendly tease. 

He grabbed his book back and slipped his laptop inside. He grabbed his coffee and got out of his car. He walked across the campus to his classroom and drank his coffee to keep warm. 

It was a cold morning he wished he would have packed a bigger sweater. Something he had to get used to in Lawrence was that it would be cold in the mornings and then it would get warmer in the afternoon, but he didn't complain as much because it was typical weather for spring. 

He walked into his class and set up his stuff for the day. He was impressed by his first class. Usually class would get off to a slow start due to kids coming in every minute, distracting everyone. They would talk and argue and throw things around. 

He actually got a pretty good discussion going on with his students. He was smiling more than he usually did with this class. 

"Can anyone tell me what this phrase translates to in English?" 

" 'Mors tua, vita mea' Your death? My life?" 

"Very good, now, we're going to be reading short stories that include phrases like these, many are about life and death, and who knows maybe we'll read some poems" 

Half of the class groaned, it was quiet but he heard it clear as day. 

"Yeah, yeah, now can all of you turn to page 54 on your Latin textbook, and take out your sheets with the Latin prefixes" 

The rest of the class went by smoothly. He didn't have any problems getting through his lesson. He was in a reasonably good mood. 

He headed out and walked to Anael's room when class finished.

"Hello, Anael" he said walking over to her desk. 

"Cas!, I was about to head over to your class, you seem to be in a good mood" 

"Yeah, today just seems to be a good day" he smiled widely. 

"I'm glad, you wanna get lunch together?" 

"Yes, of course" 

She smiled grabbed her small wallet and they walked to Cas's car. 

"We can take my car if you want?" She said pointing at her car a few parking spots away. 

"It alright, we can take mine" 

She walked over to the other side of the car, Cas started his car, and they headed over to a Taco bell near the campus.

They both ordered fiesta taco salads, along with two cold sodas. They sat at a table after they had gotten their order. 

"Have things between you and your roommate been good?" Anael asked as she chewed on the crunchy tortilla. 

"Uh- yeah" he drank from his soda. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, he's been very nice" 'too nice' 

"If you say so" She raised an eyebrow and took another bite of the tortilla. 

"Everything's been good between us, It's just me and my insecurity"

"About what? If you don't mind me asking?" 

Cas thought about it, he didn't have a problem talking about it as long as they didn't go too deep, then he was sure he'd cry. 

"Just feel like there might be something going on between us if I'm not imagining it and I'm not sure if Its okay to keep it going"

"Oh, I get it" Anael said quietly. 

Castiel wasn't sure if he wanted to keep talking with Anael about this, she seemed to get sad, she probably 'did' know what it felt like to get heartbroken.

"I went through something like that too, well maybe not exactly the same but it was painful." 

Cas nodded. 

"I uh- had a boyfriend a few years back and he wasn't bad at first, but as time went by he showed me who he truly was. He would say a lot of messed up things to me and then he thought with a simple apology everything would be fixed" Anaels voice went from quiet to firm, it wasn't anger it was strength. 

"I ended things with him as soon as I started noticing he followed me everywhere, I didn't want it to get worse and right after we broke up, he insulted me, he- he almost 'hit' me, but before he could I punched him in the face and ran out of his apartment, after that I decided to move because I didn't want something horrible to happen to me like I'd seen happen to others. I came here and started over agian. It was a few years ago, but I still think about it sometimes and what would have happened if I didn't stop things when I did."

Cas gave Anael a comforting smile. He felt so bad for what happened to her but he also felt a sense of pride for her. She had stood up to him and defended herself. In his opinion she was one of the toughest people ever. She did what others may have been too afraid to do.

"You're incredibly strong AnaeI, guess I wasn't as strong as you, it always gets to me" 

"It got to me for a long time too, but with a little help and company I allowed myself to try again and I did, I met someone and we went on a few dates, I realized I still wasn't ready for that kind of interaction, I remained friends with him though and it's been great" She smiled really wide and it made Castiel's heart warm. 

"That's great Anael, I'm happy for you" 

She smiled, "Yeah, and I understand how you might feel right now, the most important thing is that you don't feel pressured, and if he's worth it he'll wait" 

He smiled and nodded, he didn't feel pressured when he was Dean. It felt almost normal, he just got flustered easily. And if he was, he was sure Dean would wait until he was ready. He just seemed like the type, sure he liked to tease and flirt but Cas could tell he was really sweet. And that made Cas even happier. 

They were rather quiet while they ate the rest of the food. Making small talk seemed just a bit harder. They finished eating before heading to the car and driving back to campus. 

The rest of the day was just as great as the beginning. His second and third classes went by quickly. He would space out in between speaking. Some of his students asked him if he was okay, a few times. He was, he was just busy thinking. 

He wanted to tell Dean how he felt but he was so worried. He didn't know why he was like this. It helped to think about how things would be if he told him, of course the positive things. Dean would be able to hold him and tell him such sweet things. He craved more than anything his touch. He didn't like thinking about that because it had only made his emotions harder to hold back. But with them together, Cas would be able to be closer, more intimate. 

Thinking about a step further made his stomach flutter, he wasn't sure he was ready, but he had wondered before how it would feel to kiss Dean. To hold his face and inhale him deeply, melting onto him, to be able to get the best sense of Dean's smell. He wanted to hold his perfectly shaped face, running his fingers down his jaw, and through his hair. Especially his bed hair, Cas had a soft spot for it, it made every morning better, watching as Dean woke up and got ready to start the day. He was adorable in the mornings barely being able to open his eyes, and sipping his coffee at first before fully drinking it. 

He was so excited when he started his drive home. He had almost forgotten Dean asked him out. Well, maybe not like that, but he asked him to go for a few drinks. He did want to introduce him to someone who was like his mother. It felt a little to real, but he didn't mind at all as long as he spent time with Dean. As soon as he got home he got in the shower, he sang again. And it didn't feel strange anymore, seeing as he did it a lot more now than before. Before getting out of the shower, he opened the door just a crack. He wanted to make sure Dean wasn't home yet, he didn't want the incident that happened a few days ago to repeat itself. 

We was combing his hair, when he remembered about yesterday. When Dean had come out to him and he had to Dean. When Dean had first asked him, he was sure it was because of what he had said the day before of thinking that the reporter was cute. That thought made him flinch, he laughed at himself, he knew what it was, 'jealously'. He had no right to be jealous after all they weren't together, 'yet'. He started at himself through the mirror, why was he thinking like that? He was getting ahead of himself, but then again would it really be that bad to let Dean in. 

He did want to be with him like that, he had realized that not a minute ago. But what if he got hurt again? _No_ he told himself, _I said I wouldn't_ he smiled at himself. _It's okay to have feelings for someone again, and Dean's not like that, he can't be_ he sighed, everything was going to fine, and he was sure of it. He added some deodorant and walked downstairs to work on the lesson plan until Dean came home. 

  
"Cas?" 

He looked up, Dean walked down the hall and turned to walk into the living room. He smiled and Cas smiled too. 

"Hello, Dean" he said. 

"Hey, Cas" 

They were silent for a while, just staring at one another. He could feel Dean's eyes work their way through his whole body. He blushed, but he also tried not to show he kind of liked the attention. 

After a while of the intense staring Dean broke the silence, "you're all ready to go?" 

"Yup, didn't want to head out all smelly" 

"You know what? Your right, mind waiting for me while a take a quick shower?" 

"Yeah, I can work on a few things while I wait" 

"Alright, I won't take long" he began walking up the stairs "wouldn't want to keep my date waiting" he yelled back from up the stairs. 

Cas laughed, he had to find a way to get back at Dean he was getting too many lucky breaks from him. He continued typing up until the minute Dean stood in the entrance of the livingroom. Cas felt like all the life had been sucked out of him, he was _way_ too good to be true.

Dean was wearing the same leather jacket from before and his necklace. He had on a very tight V neck, and even though the V neck wasn't too big he got a glimpse of his skin from the collar, showing just a bit of the chest muscle he clearly had. His chest muscles bulged and his abdomen ripped, even though he was wearing a shirt Cas could still make out every muscle on the upper part of his body. He was wearing faded jeans and his work boots. All in all making him the hottest guy Castiel had ever seen. He felt heat rise all over. He was sure his face was as red as the blood moon, and he might try to hide it but it was useless. His heart pounded against his chest. He tried erasing the dumb smile on his face but he couldn't. 

"How do I look?" Dean asked with a grin.

He was sure Dean planned on making him blush even more than he already was. He got up and closed his laptop, he played it off as not being impressed even though he clearly was. 

"I've seen better" Cas said with a shrug. 

Dean laughed. 

He smiled at himself as he walked past Dean to put on his shoes. He was gonna get the hang of flirting. Dean drove them through town. He pulled up to a restaurant that Cas was sure wasn't the Roadhouse. 

"I thought we were going out for drinks?" Cas asked. 

"We are but, I don't expect you to _not_ eat" 

Cas smiled, "I certainly don't expect _you_ to _not_ eat" 

Dean laughed, "Come on"

They stepped out of the car and walked to the entrance. It wasn't anything too fancy, there was a valet out front and nice candle lights by the entrance, and tall potted plants. One step through the door way and Cas got a powerful wave of sweet smelling food. It smelled of grilled meat and baked potatoes, wine and cheese. They walked over to the hostess. 

"I got a reservation for Winchester" 

She looked down and smiled, "follow me" 

She led them through rows of tables, it was packed with people enjoying their food. 

"I think this place is a little too fancy for me" Cas whispered to Dean.

Dean grinned, "I thought I was the only one who felt that way, don't worry it's just a stakehouse" 

The hostess placed two menus on a table. It was a table for two at the far corner of the entrance, there were a pair of lanterns above them. 

"Your orders will be taken shortly" she smiled one last time before walking away. 

Dean walked, over to Cas's side of the table and pulled out his chair. Cas smiled, he took a seat, "Thank you" 

Dean walked over to his side of the table and sat down, smiling. 

"Are you going to order the steak?" 

"Am I that obvious" 

Cas laughed, "Sort of" 

"I uh- hope you don't mind me taking out to dinner" Dean said. 

"Not at all" he smiled, "saved me from having to cook" 

"I thought you liked to" 

"Yeah, you're right, but this is nice, thank you" 

Dean smiled, "Anytime Cas" 

Cas felt so happy, his heart just might jump out of his chest and land flat on the table in front if them. He blushed, he was glad for the low lighting in the room at least Dean wouldn't be able to see him turning red. 

"You gonna order anything for a side?" He asked. 

"Not sure I usually don't order anything but the steak" 

"Huh, well I'm gonna get the small potatoes and asparagus" 

Dean groaned playfully, "you sound just like Sam" 

"What? I can't help it if I like baked potatoes, and besides the asparagus is roasted so it's crunchier and it's got a smokey taste, it's actually quite good" 

"Dude, you're such a nerd" he smiled. 

Cas shrugged, "It's been said" 

They placed their order when the waiter came over to their table. They talked and ate the garlic bread he had brought as an appetizer. By the time they had brought over their food they had finished the bread. Cas cut a small part of his steak and ate it. His mouth exploded with flavor, he let out a small moan. He grinned shyly at Dean, Dean just nodded in agreement. 

Cas gave Dean half of his baked potatoes because as soon as Dean got the taste of one for the first time, he'd ask for another. Cas smiled the whole time, it was so cute of him to stuff his mouth and then try to talk. He actually laughed a lot and almost choked on his food a lot too. 

When they were done with dinner they walked out full and ready for some drinks. They had ordered wine because the waiter had suggested it, but neither of them drank too much. They wanted to leave some room for the beer and whiskey they were going to have at the Roadhouse. 

It was really something.

When they walked inside, the sound of voices and pool balls rang in his ears. It smelled of old wood and whiskey. To the right there was a bar and to the left a small juke box. The bar would wrapped around in a square shape. There was a pool table at the back. Small two or three people tables spread around the room, although most of them had around 5 people all sitting laughing and drinking. There were tattered curtains and dusty wood blinds covering the windows. The lighting wasn't too bright or too dark it was perfect. He loved it. 

"Dean!" 

He turned and saw a woman standing behind the counter. She had a huge smile on her face followed by smiling crinkles. Her brown hair falling to her sides. She had a towel over her shoulder and a button down opened to reveal a black tank top. She seemed as young as ever. Dean walked forward and pointed with his head at Cas to follow. 

"Hey, Ellen" 

"Been too long Dean, you don't have time for a drink or what? And what about me? Didn't think to stop by and say hi at least" 

"Sorry, I was busy trying to save up for something" 

"Well, you're forgiven, who's your friend?" 

Cas smiled, he walked out from behind Dean.

"Hey, I'm Ellen" 

"Castiel" 

"Castiel, never heard a name better than that" she smiled kindly. 

"Cas is fine too" 

"Well then Cas what can I get for you?" 

"A beer will do" 

"Alright, Dean?" 

"Beer" 

She nodded and walked to the back of the bar. 

"So what do you think?" Dean asked. 

"It's great, I like it" 

Dean smiled, "Me and Sam have been coming here for years, didn't have to go around looking for anything better than this" 

"I completely understand" 

Ellen came back with two cold beers in her hands. She winked at him, and then walked to attend someone else. 

"Wanna go sit over there" 

"Yes" 

Dean lead him through the crowd to a table at the far side of the bar, it had two chairs waiting patiently for them. He sat down beside Dean. They both opened their beers with their bare hands, and touched the tips before drinking from them. 

The beer was sweet and bitter, at the end it had a taste of lemon. He hadn't ever tasted anything like it, he looked at the bottle and the read the name, _'El Sol'_ he grinned. 

"What do you think?" Dean asked with a smile. 

"It's good" 

Dean nodded, "Yeah, one of my favorites" he lifted the bottle to his lips and drank. 

Cas took another drink of the cold beer longing for the taste. He shot a look at Dean, he saw the way his lips moved around the bottle's mouth. Hugging it tightly and then loosening up. A small drop of beer escaped from the small space between his mouth and the bottle. It rolled down his chin, leaving a wet trail behind. Cas put his bottle down, _I need to stop_. 

Dean continued drinking until the beer was empty. He finally put it down and wiped the side of his face. "Man that was good".

Cas laughed, he was adorable. He lifted the beer and drank from it until there wasn't even a drop left. 

Dean's jaw practically hit the table. 

"What it is?" 

"I didn't know you could drink like that" 

"I've had time to practice, besides I didn't want to be left behind" 

Dean nodded. 

"So what now?" 

"Now we get a round of shots" 

Dean lifted his finger, Ellen looked at him and nodded. 

"Hey Cas?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You ever Uh- have someone" 

He nodded. 

"Why'd they let you go?" 

"Because he was stupid" 

"Yeah, mine too" 

Cas looked up at Dean, he had a small smile on his face. Cas smiled back, that beer had certainly helped his nerves. He felt like if Dean asked him _anything_ he would answer with the utmost honesty. 

He knew if he was ever going to get close to Dean, he'd have to talk about it at some point, if they did do it now they'd probably forget by tomorrow and then he'd have to go through it again. But if he talked about now, it might make it easier the second time. He sighed deeply. 

"I guess I wasn't good enough" he said, still looking at Dean. 

Dean's eyes softened, his smile began to turn into a frown. And then he shook his head, "Not true" 

Cas smiled. 

Of course he'd say that to make him feel better. He believed it anyway. He heard footsteps and saw Ellen walking over with a tray of shots lined up. She placed them on the small table and leaned over towards him. 

"Watch over him with these" 

She placed a hand on his shoulder with a smile before walking back to the bar. 

Castiel reached toward one of the shots and emptied it out in less than 3 seconds. He grabbed another and downed it just as fast. 

Dean just watched him, he felt like Dean would have to watch over him instead. 

"Cas?" 

He flipped the small shot cup over and then turned to look at him. 

"I meant it, and I didn't just say it to make you feel better" 

How did he know? Maybe he had said it out loud with out realizing it. 

"You _are_ enough, God, you're more than enough, you even make _me_ feel better about myself" 

Cas's lips quivered, he felt like crying all of a sudden and he didn't know why. 

"I- I- know, what it feels like to think people are just feeding you a bunch of crap, saying things just to make you feel better" he leaned closer and took one of the shots in his hand "or because they know you" he emptied it and held another in his hand "but what I'm telling you is what I believe completely" 

Cas smiled, his heart was getting heavy. 

Dean drank his second shot and turned it upside down, "Can't say the same about myself, I guess it's why he left me for some else, _I_ wasn't good enough" 

Cas wanted to tell Dean he was enough, for him he was. He loved everything about him, he loved him for exactly who he was. He was perfect to him, and he didn't care what anyone else thought. He felt horrible, to find out that some left Dean. _Dean_? He was the kindest, most caring person ever. He was a dork too, he got all cute and smiley whenever he started to talk about his favorite superhero and his favorite TV shows. You couldn't even get him started on horror movies because he'd never stop talking about them. 

His heart hurt, to think that someone hurt him like that was painful. He looked at him lovingly and gave him one of his warm smiles that cheered everyone up."Yes you are" he said. 

Dean grinned and drank another shot. "Hmm, maybe you think so right now but you'll change your mind sooner or later" 

Cas shook his head, "No I wont" 

"He did" 

Cas flinched, his did too, his thought the same. A tiny bit of anger formed in his stomach. He wasn't like Dean's ex, and he didn't like that Dean assumed he was. He would never stop loving him. 

_Loving_

That was something so powerful, and he was sure it was the perfect word for his attraction to Dean. He was already beginning to love him, and the more time they spent together the more he'd fall for him. 

"I'm not like him" he said finally.

Dean looked up from the table, he smiled, "Yeah, you aren't" he sighed "you're _so_ much better" 

Dean leaned in closer to him and he didn't move, at first. 

Dean smelled like whiskey now, it was combined with his own smell. The smell of his shampoo and cologne. He inhaled deeply, letting it soothe him, and calm him. His freckles were so close to his face, they were mesmerizing. He loved them, all perfectly spread out through his face. And then there were those eyes that looked a him longingly. He could hardly keep himself from looking at Dean's lips, and how beautifully lit they were, with the dampness left behind from the whiskey. 

He would've kissed Dean but he knew better. He knew this would be a drunk kiss and if it was their first would it really mean anything? Dean might forget it completely, of course he wouldn't, it would be etched to his brain forever. He was sure Dean was on his way to be really drunk, it wasn't the best idea. So he looked away, and took one of the shots. He flipped it upside down, _great,_ he thought to himself. His heart had broken a little, here was his chance to finally kiss him and those plump lips, and he turned it down. He leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling, it suddenly seemed so interesting.

Dean was still looking at him though, and he didn't seem to be moving his eyes anytime soon. 

"What?" he asked soflty, still not looking down.

"You're just so beautiful" 

He chuckled and of course blushed. But he was tipsy, so it didn't affect him as much this time, at least not enough to have him trip over his words trying to speak. 

"I know, you've said it already" 

"And I'll say it a million times more" 

Cas blushed more, Dean had a huge grin on his incredibly hot face. 

"Sure" he mumbled.

"I will, it's the truth and I love it when you blush, it's very cute" 

He couldn't wipe away the huge smile on his face and his cheeks started to hurt. "Why do you insist on tormenting me?" he joked.

"Because I like you" he grabbed the last shot on the tray, he drank it before he spoke again "so damn much" he smiled. 

_I like you too,_ _so freaking much._ His head and heart were going hundreds of miles per hour. He wanted to explode with happiness, he didn't know how close he actually got. 

_"God,_ Cas, you drive me crazy, everytime I see you it takes everything I got to keep myself from kissing you, I love everything about you. Even now I could lean in a steal a kiss from those pink lips" he finally looked away from him for a second before looking back up, but this time his gaze was softer, sadder "it tears me up inside that you might not feel the same and it hurts, and- and I understand if you don't like me the same way I do, I just felt like I had to tell you before I acted in a way that might surprise you. And it sure as hell would hurt but if I had to choose between being friends and not talking to each other I'd choose friends every time. You've become one of the good parts in my life and I don't want to lose you"

It pained him to see Dean hurt, he had no idea how badly Dean felt after he acted like he wasn't interested, because he was, so so much. He leaned closer to him and took his lonely hand on the table. He held it and gave it a small squeeze, he loved the feel of Dean's hand in his, it was like it was made for him. 

Dean squeeze back tightly, "I do like you, more than you think actually and I'm sorry I hurt you, I never _ever_ want to do that. I'm still trying to get over the pain that was left behind, but I promise you that I do like you, so so much and maybe when your not drunk anymore we can talk about it?" 

Dean smiled but his eyes were drowsy, Cas knew it was time to go. He didn't want Dean to knock out in the middle of the bar. He looked around for Ellen and when he spotted her he called for her. She came over and helped him get Dean out the door, clearing a path for them. The wait of Dean on him would have been more than arousing if they were in a different scenario, but right now he was afraid of dropping him. 

He slid him into the passenger side of Baby, and took his keys out from his jacket's pocket. Dean moved his hand to Cas's face and said something, Cas couldn't understand a thing. 

"Don't worry well get home soon" he said. He leaned into it slightly and smiled at him, he would have liked to stay like that for a lot longer but Ellen was staring and he didn't want to weird her out. He moved Dean's hand off of his face and closed the door, staring at a sad looking Dean through the window. 

"I shouldn't have brought you guys so many shots at a time" 

"Don't worry, I'll watch over him" 

She smiled and leaned in for a hug, "Well, it was nice to meet you" 

He hugged her back, "you too" 

"Okay then, watch out for yourselves" She stood outside watching as he drove away, until they were out of sight. 

  
Driving a sleepy, drunk Dean home was great, well not him being drunk but the experience was unforgettable. Dean kept looking at him lovingly, he would reach out to touch his hand and lean on his shoulder. He would say a lot of things, well more like slur, but he tried. It would mostly be about him, because the only thing he could make out was his name, being said over and over again. He thought it couldn't get any better, but he was wrong. 

He stepped inside Dean's room for the very first time. It was beautiful in there. He had a nightstand by his bed with a small lamp, there was a tiny chest that was opened, inside were pictures of what he assumed to be his mother and father along with a very chubby baby and Dean.

He had a drawer that had the top decorated with tiny replicas of guns. He also had a beautiful view of the backyard at his window seat. 

He lay Dean down on his bed and removed his boots. Dean groaned and Cas helped him take off his leather jacket too. He smiled, Dean looked so good while he slept. He helped him under the sheets and covered him. He saw the closet door was opened just a crack with the lights on. He walked towards it and opened it to turn off the lights.

Cas laughed quietly as he saw what was in there. A couple shelves were decorated with tiny action figures and small posters of old western movies. He closed the door and walked downstairs. He grabbed a cup of water a bag and some painkillers. He found Dean still asleep when he walked back into his room to leave everything at his nightstand. 

He quietly arranged the things in a way that Dean could access them easily. He knew Dean had a bathroom in his room, but what if he didn't make it in time, it was better to be prepared. 

He looked down at Dean, and smiled his fingers suddenly itched to move a strand of hair on his face. He moved it aside. He had no idea why he had done it but he leaned down and gave him a small kiss on his forehead. He smiled, and Dean hummed, he got one last look at Dean's sleeping face and turned around. 

He felt warmth wrap around his wrist. Dean was holding onto him. 

"Cas?" 

"Yes, Dean?" 

"Can you stay" he mumbled. 

Cas huffed out a chuckle, he nodded. 

He lay down on the opposite side of the bed next to Dean. He was laying on his side staring at the back of Dean's back before he turned and they faced each other. It was dark but the moonlight coming through the window was enough to let him see Dean's sleepy green eyes staring at him. He moved his hand closer to Cas. He moved his hand closer to Dean's and let the sides of their pink's touch. He smiled and closed his eyes, the bed smelled like Dean and it was enough to put him to sleep. He thought about how great things were between them, and how they could work things out eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter (for some reason I keep wanting to call them episodes?) thank you for sticking with me up until now I appreciate it! 😊😊 💕


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean learns the answer to what he's been wondering all day, since last night. Having Cas all to himself is what he's been wanting for a long time and he might finally get him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15!!! I'm so excited, hope you guys like this chapter 😊

Dean groaned. 

The light from the window hurt his eyes as soon as he opened them. He could taste the bitterness of the beer and whiskey that was left behind at the back of his tongue. And there was a pounding in his head.

 _That's weird_ he thought to himself, he lifted his head from the soft pillow. He felt the ghost of a presence on his bed, but why would he? He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Once he could open them without getting the sudden need to close them he looked at his clock. He saw a cup and two pills laid out on the nightstand.

 _Cas,_ he thought with a smile, he took the cup and the pills and after downing it completely he felt better. He finally saw the clock that read 7:40, _shoot._ He got up and walked into the bathroom, he washed his face and his teeth, he felt relief when he finally got the taste of the liquor off his mouth. He stared at himself through the mirror, he was trying to remember everything that had happened last night. 

And when he did his cheeks turned red. He had told Cas he liked him, what's worse he kept going on about how great he was. He was glad he didn't leap on him every chance he got, with all the staring he was doing. Clearly nothing had happened since we woke up in yesterday's close and in a lonely bed. 

He could hardly keep his eyes off of Cas yesterday with how hot he was looking. He was dressed pretty casually, he had a white button down shirt and a few of the buttons at the top were undone, giving Dean the chance to see the smooth tan skin underneath again. His dark blue jeans hugged his ass in ways Dean couldn't even have imagined. And his hair, _god_ did it look good. He had been wanting more than ever to kiss Cas last night. He had even sneaked in a dinner reservation, hoping Cas didn't mind.

He said he'd do his best to win him over and he was going to do just that, a sort of romantic dinner along with drinks wasn't too bad, he hoped. He was trying to remember if Cas had even responded him after he told him he liked him. Not knowing was killing him. Had Cas rejected him? Had he just stayed quiet?

One thing he did remember clear as day was the feeling of his stomach turning because of how close he had gotten to kiss him. He could faintly make out Cas's smell. And he remembered the heat going all through his body the closer they got, up until the point were he could feel Cas's breathing on his face. He could see the softness in Cas's eyes and that small glow that made him so beautiful. 

He gripped the sides of the sink. He had to find out if he had made things worse. He cleared his throat and walked to his drawer to pull out a fresh change of clothes. He remembered something while changing, it was probably a dream but he remembered the feeling of soft lips on his forehead. And then the warm feeling of someone lying next to him in bed. He was in disbelief of how real it had felt but he blocked it out, because it seemed like something sad to dream about. 

After getting dressed he cautiously walked downstairs. His heart broke a little when the usual sight of Cas standing in the kitchen was nowhere to be seen. He saw a small paper on the breakfast bar and he walked over to pick it up. In Cas's writing was his name. He flipped the paper over and smiled, as he read it. 

**Good morning Dean. I made you breakfast and left it I'm the microwave. Sorry for not being there when you woke up, something came up at work. I made you a greasy platter for your hangover, shouldn't have drank so much. Anyways I hope you have a good day. And thank you for last night. P.S you drooled when you slept** 😊

Dean scoffed, his cheeks felt a little warm. It was true, everytime he drank he'd drool. He was embarrassed by the fact Cas had seen him like that, it was probably when he came in to leave him the water and pills. 

He folded up the note and slipped it in his back pocket. He heated up his breakfast and walked over to the coffee machine. The hot coffee filled him with a rush of energy. He pulled out his steaming food once the timer had gone off. Cas had made him a huge stack of bacon along with some eggs. There were a few pieces of toast out beside the microwave. 

The thought of Cas cooking him this much bacon for his hangover made him feel so warm inside. He ate quickly, he didn't want to be late to work. Once he was done with his breakfast he finished getting ready and headed out the door with a huge smile on his face. It wasn't until he was driving to work that he began to wonder why Cas hadn't stuck around in the morning. 

What if he had done something Cas didn't want? Maybe Cas didn't want to see him? _No, he would have made me breakfast if that were the case,_ but then he thought what if he just wanted to help him with his hangover. _No, because he left him a note along with a smiley face and a side note_. It wouldn't help to think negatively, he figured he'd ask him later when he came home, and maybe take him somewhere to apologize if he did. 

He tried his best to not think too much about it along with showing it. But Sam figured it out anyway. He didn't want to tell his brother how much he probably fucked up. He was busy keeping his mind occupied with filling the transmission fluid of a couple cars. He had to concentrate on not spilling it because the hole was small and the funnel he was using wasn't the right size. He didn't want to spill it all over, so he had to focus on only that. 

Sam came up behind him as soon as he finished inserting the dipstick back into place. 

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing" he said simply, he knew if Sam kept asking he was bound to tell him. 

"Is it about Cas?" 

_Damn you Sam_ he thought, he turned to look at his brother, he had those big puppy eyes he always gave him when he wanted something from him. 

"No" 

Sam's eyes pleaded with him even more and he found himself bitting his bottom lip to keep himself from talking, but of course like always he couldn't resist. "Yeah, it is" 

Sam sighed, "What happened?" 

He took a deep breath, "I told him I liked him?" 

Sam looked confused, "Is that a bad thing?" 

"I don't know I can't remember" 

"You can't- were you drunk?" 

"Yes" 

"Jesus Dean" he shook his head "I guess, that was the only way you were gonna tell him sooner" 

"I know, it would have taken a lot longer, I knew what I was getting myself into, I just wish I could remember how he responded" 

"Have you asked him?" 

"No, he wasn't there this morning, said he had to leave early for work" 

Sam looked down, Dean knew Sam was thinking Cas might be avoiding him, but even then Sam remained positive. 

"Maybe he did have something to do" he gave Dean a comforting smile,"I think you should ask him" 

Dean thought so too, "Yeah, I will" 

Sam stared at him. He was confused, what did he want?

"Are you gonna ask in a few years or what?" 

"What?" 

"I meant now Dean, text him will you? Maybe he's busy but he'll see it sooner or later" 

"Oh right" he took his phone out and opened the app. The keyboard stared back at him, he didn't want to be upfront about it so he asked, _was everything okay at work?_

He watched as the message said sent and then looked back through their conversations. He smiled as he read all the back and forth texts they had sent each other. He hadn't ever used that many emojis in his life while texting someone. He was feeling better reading through what they sent each other. When he looked up at Sam he was smiling, "what?" he asked him. 

"Nothing, just like that he can cheer you up that fast" he had a grin on his face, "Everything's gonna be alright Dean, you'll see" 

He smiled and nodded with his heart because he truly believed it. He felt like he'd been waiting for a long time for Cas to answer his text and when he finally did Dean heart beat so fast he thought he'd die. 

CAS: Yeah everything's fine, just had a small meeting to attend to

DEAN: well that must have sucked Dean felt so glad he wasn't being avoided. He felt his worries melt away. 

CAS: yeah it did I almost died of boredom 

DEAN: wouldn't want that

CAS: Oh I 'know' believe me

Dean wondered what that meant, and then he got his answer.

CAS: you've got quite a grip even when you're asleep, I practically had to pry your arm off me

Dean's heart pounded, so it wasn't a dream after all, Cas _was_ really sleeping beside him last night. That meant Cas had also kissed him. It started to get to his head pretty quickly, he hadn't fucked up at all. And he could wipe the huge smile off his face as he realized _Cas_ had kissed him, even if it wasn't were he had been wanting it he had gotten a kiss from the guy he was totally crushing on. 

DEAN: is that a complain? Sunshine

CAS: and if it is

DEAN: nothing, I've got nothing to complain about except for another one of those kisses 

Cas took a bit longer to answer to that one. 

CAS: sorry, I didn't think you'd remember 

DEAN: Don't be DEAN: I could never forget a kiss from a hot guy like you, I'm hoping for more just like that one

CAS: In your dreams

DEAN: don't be so sure

CAS: Haha I'd like to see that

DEAN: How much do you want to bet?

CAS: how much have you got

DEAN: everything 

CAS: good I'm gonna need everything I can get

DEAN: alright, for starters would you like to go out later today? 

CAS: Yes, but only to prove you wrong 

DEAN: Sure

CAS: I always keep my word

DEAN: So do I 

CAS: Well then I can't wait to see you try

DEAN: neither can I, I'll see you later sunshine

CAS: bye Dean

He walked over to his brother to tell him the good news. 

"Told you everything would be alright" Sam said, he gave him a slight punch to the side of his arm. 

"Yeah, Now hurry up would you I wanna go eat" 

Sam and Dean walked towards the house after they finished cleaning up their tools. They had lunch and talked to Bobby about himself and Cas and of course Bobby was more than happy to share some advice. 

Dean's day went from a troubled morning to a bright afternoon. He worked non stop using all the energy he had gotten from his conversation to finish work just a few minutes earlier. He still had no idea where to take Cas. He was thinking about it all through the afternoon as he wiped the inside of a car down with oil to make the leather shine. 

He thought about everything Cas had told him he liked. And then he had an idea, Sam had once taken Jess to a botanic garden on the other side of town. She talked non stop about it and how beautiful it was. Cas liked plants and everything to do with nature, so maybe he'd like to go there. Jess had also said there was a room where there were butterflies flying all around and people were allowed to go in. 

There was also an animal museum a few miles away from the house. It had life size replicas of all sorts of animals even the ones that had gone extinct ages ago. He always wondered how they new the exact size of those small fat birds with the long beaks. That was honestly the only museum he liked apart from the one with all the old gun replicas. And it had an outside area that was a garden filled with dinosaurs statues and trees. They could sit outside for a while under one of the big trees looking up at the sky or something.

A petting zoo would be nice, the last time he'd been to one was years ago with Jess and Sam on one of their dates. They invited him because he had been alone on Valentine's too many times. It was great and everything but he didn't really want the constant reminder that he was all alone because everyone he dated only wanted him for his looks. And there were a million couples in that place, all of them kissing, hugging, and posing for those cringey couple pictures. But this time would be different, he'd have some to bring along with him and it would be awesome. He smiled as he thought of him and Cas holding hands as they walked side by side through all these and more places.

He wiped down the last seat and went inside. He was washing his hands, when his phone vibrated. He hadn't turned it off since he texted Cas. He saw it was a message from his group chat with Jo and Charlie. He opened it and saw a picture of Jo she was lying in her bed doing homework. Her hair was all messy, but she had a huge smile on her face. 

DEAN: is homework really that fun

JO: no 

DEAN: then what's the smiling all about

JO: finishing up a few things before I have the rest of the week to do whatever I want

DEAN: well don't do anything to crazy

JO: -_- can't I have some fun I've been working way to hard 

DEAN: just saying a lot of things happened in LA

JO: I guess. JO: wait what are you even doing on your phone you never have it on during work

DEAN: I forgot to turn it off earlier 

JO: what were doing earlier 

DEAN: texting someone 

JO: who….Cas

DEAN: why do you always say his name first 

DEAN: I could have been texting Charlie 

CHARLIE: hey bitches what about me?

JO: oh nothing just Dean being Dean

CHARLIE: he wasn't texting me 

DEAN: okay it was Cas but it could've been anyone else

CHARLIE: I DOUBT it

JO: same here

DEAN: whatever 

JO: so what were you texting him about? If you want to share with the class

DEAN: just stuff

CHARLIE: wow 

DEAN: okay so I told him I liked him last night since I was drunk it was easier to say it out loud

JO: Ohhhh

CHARLIE: did it go well

DEAN: I don't know I can't remember 

JO: dude 

CHARLIE: should have known something would happen

DEAN: yeah I mean you guys know what happens when you mix me, feelings and alcohol, a mess

JO: yeah no kidding 

CHARLIE: we suuuuuure dooo

DEAN: alright well thanks for the support DEAN: anyway I asked him out and he said yes so I think that means he doesn't mind DEAN: AND he stayed with me last night cause I asked him too

CHARLIE: AWWWW 

JO: That's great Dean 

DEAN: yeah well I still don't know where to take him

CHARLIE: Some place nice 

JO: yeah you've got to sweep him off his feet man

DEAN: I was thinking the botanic garden, museum or petting zoo

JO: why these

CHARLIE: because Cas likes nature 

JO: ah

DEAN: yeah so which one

JO: botanic garden 

CHARLIE: yup

DEAN: thanks guys 

CHARLIE: you know us always happy to help

JO: yeah tell us how it goes

DEAN: alright, I gotta get back to work or Bobby'll kill me for slacking off

JO: XD forgot he does that

CHARLIE: XD bye 

Dean walked outside and helped out a couple customers take their cars. He changed a few batteries and wheels. And by the end of the day he was exhausted. He made a mental note to go pick up his grill from storage tomorrow. He also had to go pick up a few things from the store for Sunday. 

He drove home blasting Led Zeppelin on the radio. He was extremely happy and he couldn't wait for his first official date with Cas. Sure they'd gone out before but as friends now it was different. He also felt at ease that Cas knew how he felt about him. And it felt even better that Cas hadn't rejected him, he was going to try to ask him later today about last night. 

He pulled up to his drive way and smiled when he saw Cas's car. He walked up the porch ready to be greeted by those blue eyes of his. He loved coming home to someone, to talk about their days even if nothing exciting happened. 

Cas was sitting in his usual spot on the couch, with his laptop open and a few text books beside him. He looked up as soon as Dean walked into the living room. He smiled so wide Dean's heart melted. He smiled too. 

"Hey, Cas" 

"Hello Dean" 

He loved the way Cas said his name with such care, and love. Every time they stared at each other in silence, Dean would think about them together. How he would walk up to him and swoop him up by the waist and kiss his perfectly pink lips. He would fantasize about pulling him by the blue tie he always wore to work and placing the softest kiss on his lips and then adding pressure leaving Cas breathless everyday before he left. 

He was gonna have to stop thinking about that right this second because if not this dick would stand right up. But then he saw what Cas wearing and that, was gonna be a tough thing to do. 

He was wearing a v-neck. The collar wasn't too wide or too small, but it showed Dean enough skin to turn him on. He was staring way too much at the tan skin and collar bones. He started to think about leaving marks on it, then the whole world would know he was his. His shoulders fit nicely in the cloth, and it hugged his biceps nicely. His small waist fit so well into his navy jeans, and of course his thighs looked good enough to eat. 

Dean cleared his throat and told him he'd be right back. He walked into his bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom. He closed the door and tried breathing. _God damn it Dean,_ he turned on the cold water in the shower and stuck his head under it. But not even cold water got rid of his erection. He groaned and got undressed. He got into the shower and minutes later painted the shower floor in white. 

He got dressed and tried not thinking about Castiel's collar bones, for even just a second. When he went back downstairs Cas was in the kitchen he had made himself a sandwich. 

"Made you one too" he said with a full mouth. 

Dean smiled _of course you did_. He walked over to stand next to him, he grabbed his sandwich and bit into it. 

"May I ask where we're going?"

"Hmmm, some place nice" 

"Well _at_ least it's nice" Cas said grinning. 

"I'm sure you'll like it" 

"I like almost everything" 

They finished their sandwiches and talked about their day. Things like these are what he enjoys the most about doing with Cas. He loved the way his eyes would sparkle when he talked about teaching and his friend Anael. He only got a slight bit jealous because he knew Cas wasn't into chicks so it wasn't like he had to worry about competition. 

He drove them to the botanic garden. On the way there he was playing AC/DC on the radio and Cas had asked him to put up the volume. Of course they sang along, he was impressed that Cas knew all the lyrics, he thought he was the only one who could sing along all the way through. 

He was doing a lot of singing, so his throat started to hurt. But it was worth it, Cas kept going even after he stopped to take a break. Cas's smile was so wide and beautiful it made everything even better. 

The closer they got the more Cas would look out trying to figure out where they were going. It was cute to watch him pout and furrow his eyebrows trying so hard to figure it out. 

Dean wished there were any words to describe the look on Cas's face as he pulled up to the parking lot. Dean was sure Cas was smiling ear to ear. 

"Here we are" Dean said after parking Baby and shutting her off. 

"This is incredible, thank you Dean" 

"We haven't even been inside yet" 

"Even just looking at it from outside is enough" 

Dean smiled, Cas seemed genuinely excited. 

It _was_ pretty cool looking from outside. It was a huge dome made out of glass. There was a long tunnel that seemed to stretch for miles until you finally stepped inside. Different plants decorated the outside. And there was a fountain a few feet away from the archway entrance, with a giant flower that shot out water. You couldn't see it but there was a smaller dome behind the big one with another tunnel, connecting to the bigger one. It was where the butterflies were at, he remembered it from the last time he was there. 

They stepped out of the car and walked toward the entrance. Every now and then Dean would hear Cas gasp with excitement and awe the closer they got. Dean wondered if it had changed since he had last been here.

They walked through the archway down the long tunnel. Purple flowers and green vines fell from the top. It filled the air around them with a sweet scent. The sun reflected inward through the windows making rainbows all over the floor. 

"This is beautiful" Cas said

"Not as much as you" 

"Shut up" 

"Are you sure that's what you want" 

"Completely" Cas walked backwards towards the inside of the dome, looking up at the plants that hung above their heads. He looked so cute with the small pinkness of his cheeks and the golden light from outside. 

"Come on" he said with a huge smile. 

They walked through the end of the tunnel and were greeted with a small, white, wooden bridge. He had forgotten the small stream inside that wrapped around the dome. Cas chuckled as he crossed it, Dean followed closely behind him. 

Light posts with a white ball on the top lined up different paths. Cas chose one and they walked through it. 

"Its so peaceful in here" 

"Yeah, look at that" Dean laughed. 

It was a small statue of a fat naked little man he was spitting out water at another fat little man. Cas laughed too and that only made Dean laugh harder. 

"Guess it's not so peaceful" Dean said walking up next to him. 

"Guess not" 

They continued walking and pointing out the small statues that were put in places where you had to look for them to find them. There were palm trees and other types of trees. Pink and yellow flowers lined the walkway. The sounds of the statues with water really did make everything peaceful. 

They took a different path this time. The one Dean had chosen was made up to look like they were going through a jungle. There were tall trees covering them. Light shined through the branches and any small spaces. Vines hung form the trees and long leaves blocked the path. Cas laughed every time he hit himself with the leaf he tried to move out of the way. 

By the third path they were walking side by side, so much they'd bump into each other every five seconds. But neither of them moved away. This path they were in had a sort of warm feeling to it. The flowers were red, orange and yellow. It made him feel nice standing so close to Cas. He felt Cas lean into him and then he felt his head on his shoulder. He smiled and his heart grew, he leaned into his head. Cas sighed, so did he, he liked the feeling of Cas next to him. It made so much sense to him it was crazy. 

"Cas?"

"Yeah" he said lifting his head from Dean's shoulder. 

Dean's heart actually sank a little, he already missed the weight of his head on him. He tried not to hold onto that feeling and focus on what he was going to ask. 

"So Uh- I know I told you I liked you at the bar and I might sound like a dick but I don't remember what you said" 

Cas's eyes widened and them his cheeks turned pink, he smiled and said "I said that _I_ like, you, too" 

Dean's heart began to race, he was so freaking happy he wanted to grab Cas's face and kiss him until their lips turned purple. He moved closer to him and just started at him deeply, straight into those blue eyes of his. _He is so damn beautiful._ He could finally hold him and kiss him for as long as he wanted. He was the luckiest man in the world to have Cas for himself.

He put his hand on the side of his face, he felt his slight stubble on his skin. Cas was staring at him so softly his heart melted into a puddle. Cas stepped much closer in his space. He pulled his face up and pressed his lips on his. 

His lips were soft. He pulled just a little on Cas's upper lip. He angled Cas's face for more. Cas hummed against Dean's lips. He could feel the smile on Cas being to form. Their lips slotted onto one another's and _damn_ did he taste good. A lot like cherry now that he thought about it. Dean added pressure to their kiss breathing in deeply. Kissing Cas was a dream come true, man had he fantasized about it for a long time and finally being able to do it was incredible. He sucked on Cas's lip once more. He didn't want to pull away but he wanted to look at Cas again. A tiny string of saliva stretched from both their lips as they parted. 

Cas's eyes were full of love. He had on one of the biggest smiles ever and of course there was a hint of pink in his cheeks. Dean grinned he moved his thumb across his cheek. 

"Cherry?" was the only thing he could say.

"I put some chapstick on" he said with a smile. 

Dean grinned. And he pulled him in for another kiss, feeling his lips again only made his crave it more. This time Cas's hands traveled up his chest and around his neck. Dean put one hand on Cas's waist and the other he used to hold his face. It was perfect and he didn't want to move at all. He could stand here all day kissing the guy. His lips were a perfect fit on his, they were soft and small and he loved them. He pulled on his lips with his, hearing Cas hum made him kiss him harder.

He flinched when he heard some clear their throat. He pulled away from Cas just as fast as him. 

There was a couple both of them were blushing and staring at them in awe. 

"Sorry" said the woman she smiled shyly and pulled her boyfriend who was holding back a laugh. They walked back the path whispering. 

Cas buried his face on Dean chest, he was shaking with laughter. He looked up and Dean couldn't help but laugh. 

"Guess we should kiss out here" Dean said. 

Cas face was red, he nodded "Yeah I think so" 

They kissed one more time and then held hands as they continued their path. Dean felt like he was walking on air, everything was great and he couldn't have it any other way. 

They got a couple hot dogs each and sat by the fountain to eat them. 

"Sorry we couldn't go see the butterflies" 

"Its okay, I got something way better" 

Dean smiled, and did he feel his cheeks heat up? "What could be better than flying bugs?" 

"Your lips" 

_Okay,_ Cas was definitely making him blush. He was impressed, "Cas? Are you _f_ _lirting_ with me?" 

"Maybe" 

Dean leaned in real close and whispered in his ear, "I don't mind" 

Cas leaned in closer too, Dean was sure he was going to kiss him but then he turned to the side of Dean's face and whispered "Good" 

And _holy fuck_ had Dean wished he closed his legs sooner. The ruffness of Cas's voice and his breath on Dean's skin made a chill run down his spine and not only his hairs stand. He cleared his throat and bit into his hotdog, he had to clear his mind or it was going to be way harder to hide it. Cas laughed clearly amused. 

"You're awfully quiet?" He said, a hit of sarcasm in his voice. 

_What a dick,_ Dean thought with a grin on his face. He hummed a small reply, he wasn't sure if Cas had ment for him to get turned on or not. 

"Thank you Dean, today was amazing, especially you blushing" 

Dean chuckled, "I bet" he sighed, with a soft smile he said "you're welcome Cas" 

They ate their food and watched as the sun finished setting. The sky was dark by the time they started driving back home. He held Cas hand while he drove home. Cas scooted in real close and rested his head on Dean's shoulder. Every now and then Dean would rest his head on Cas's too, he'd only lift his head because he knew he could fall asleep on Cas's head. He turned the radio on and played music softly in the background while they talked.

When they got home each of them went into their rooms to change and then came back downstairs to watch a movie before bed. Cas made some popcorn while he looked for a movie. He decided not to watch a cowboy movie, he was sure Cas was tired of watching a cowboy movie almost every night. 

"Thank you" Dean said taking the bowl from him.

Cas sat down beside him and curled up real tight next to him. Dean helped him cover himself with the sheet they had. 

"What are we watching?" he asked taking some popcorn from the bowl. 

"We are watching _Nacho Libre_ " 

Cas laughed. 

"Have you seen it?" 

"Oh yeah, it's hilarious" 

"Good I kinda want to laugh" 

Cas was right it was hilarious.

He laughed so hard when Ignacio was in the alley and the skinny guys hopped out and stole his food. He wiped away a few of the tears he had because he was laughing so hard when they were fighting in the ring. Especially when one of them got his hair pulled out. Cas was laughing right alongside him under his arm the whole time. He nearly choked on the popcorn with all the laughing he was doing. By the time the movie ended his stomach hurt and so did his face. The movie had a nice ending, it was sweet and happy. 

When they walked up the stairs inside of walking one behind the other he held Cas by the waist. He held him nice and close and placed so many kisses on his temple. And they didn't walk to separate ends of the hall when they reached the top. 

He held onto Cas closely, walking him into his room and the kissing him when they got to his bed. Their kiss was salty and sweet. He would never get enough of his lips and their softness. He loved the way both of their lips worked well together. He held Cas close and tilted his head so many times aiming for a different feeling. He wanted to kiss every inch of his mouth.

He slid his tongue in his mouth for the first time. Cas's mouth parted inviting him eagerly. He moaned against Dean's mouth. Dean sucked on his lips and licked the back of his teeth. Cas held on tightly to the back of his neck and sucked on Dean's lip. He could begin to feel his breathing to deepen and his blood begin to race. He started to kiss along the insides of Cas's jaw. Leaving hot wet kisses all along his neck. He rubbed his nose on the sides of his face and kissed and sucked lightly on his skin. He found a sweet spot on Cas, it was at the end of his jawline underneath his earlobe.

He sucked on it slightly before kissing it. Cas moaned and gripped onto his neck. His erection was growing by the second. Cas moved nonstop in his hold. 

He slowly pushed Cas onto the bed. He kissed him harder and finally got to bite his lip. It wasn't too hard just enough to hold onto it and pull it. Cas moaned again and he pulled Dean down for another passionate kiss. Cas sucked on Dean's tongue, and it only made him harder. They kissed until they were both breathless. Dean stuck his hand in Cas's hair and pulled his head back. He kissed Cas's Adam's apple. Then sucked lightly down his neck. Dean could feel the goosebumps on Cas's neck. He could feel Cas's wandering hands working up and down his back. And the wrap around his shoulders.

Cas gripped onto his hair while Dean worked on his neck. He licked and sucked on it, making so many sounds escape Cas. He looked back up and kissed him again. He bit Cas's wet lip then sucked on it. Dean groaned his growing erection rubbed on Cas's thigh. He moved down again and finally kissed his collarbone. He rubbed his nose and breathed on them. He licked slightly and then scratched them with his teeth. Kissing and sucking on them passionately. He was almost completely hard when Cas's hands dropped from his hair. Dean looked up at him breathless. Cas looked scared now. He pulled him up and they sat at the foot of the bed. 

Cas was looking down, he was trying to catch his breath. 

"Cas?" Dean asked, he was worried. 

"I'm sorry Dean, I just can't" 

"Can't what?" 

"I can't be that intimate yet, I'm- I'm just too scared" 

Dean felt his heart break, did Cas think he was going to hurt him? "Why?" 

Cas took a deep breath, "I um- the last time I was that close with someone it was painful, I guess I just haven't gotten over it, well more like prepared myself completely" 

"I won't ever hurt you Cas" 

"I know- you're the best guy in the world Dean, and it's not you who's the problem it's me and I guess I'm just not ready yet" 

Dean nodded it sure hurt, but if Cas wasn't ready he wasn't going to push. He wanted to ask but he felt like Cas might not want to tell him just yet. And he was okay with it for now, because as much as he'd like to know he knew a little something about talking about past relationships. 

He was sure Cas would tell him when he was ready, and for now he was going to help Cas forget about anything painful in his life. He was mad that it even happened at all that someone made Cas feel hurt when all he deserved was to be treated good. Instead of making him feel good he made Cas feel horrible and he _hated_ it. It was more than enough to make him want to kill the guy who dared to hurt Cas. And that anger was enough to cool him down for a second.

He scooted closer to Cas and wrapped him in a hug. He squeezed him tightly and kissed his head, he was going to make sure Cas felt better. He didn't want Cas to think he was made for not having sex with him, he'd wait for Cas forever if he had too. Because there was nobody else in the world he'd rather be than with him. He loved Cas so much. 

Yeah he _l_ _oved_ him, and he wasn't going to let him go for anything. 

"Thank you" he heard Cas say. 

"For what" 

"For not hating me" 

"I could never hate you" 

He felt Cas smile against his chest. 

After hugging each other for a very long time (and not that Dean was complaining) they tucked each other into bed and fell asleep embracing each other once more.

Cas was lying on his chest and he had his arm around him. He stroked Cas hair and ran his hand up and down his back. He put his face into Cas's hair and fell asleep to his sweet smelling shampoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're together now!! Sort of (they have a bit more to go through together before they can completely be comfortable with each other.) Writing the next chapter might kill me, see you Sunday 😊


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can't describe the feeling of joy he gets when Cas tells him about his past. The fact that Cas was comfortable with him enough to tell him fills his heart with joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've broken down this chapter into two parts, and it kinda ends in a cliffhanger. 😊

Waking up to Cas was something he didn't imagine could be so great. His smell filled his breath and the feeling of having him lay beside him was more than amazing. He loved that the first thing he saw were those bright blue eyes he loved so much. And even though his eyes wanted to close, he wanted them wide open staring at the beautiful man he was sharing a pillow with.

He realized this was the first time he had ever seen Cas's bed hair and it was the cutest thing in the world. His hair was all over, pointing in every direction. He ran his fingers through it soothing the sudden itch he'd had. Cas had a sleepy smile on his face, he blinked a few times adjusting his eyes to the morning light from the windows. Dean's grin grew to a big fat smile. 

"Morning, sunshine" 

Cas smiled wider he burrowed his face in the crook of Dean's neck. 

Dean felt him take a deep breath before answering with, "Morning Dean" 

He wrapped his arm around him and squeezed him tightly. He stuck his face in Cas's bed hair and sighed. He loved this and he knew he'd never get enough of it. The fact that Cas was his now was still a little unbelievable to him. 

He kissed Cas's forehead, he would have gone for a full kiss to the mouth but he didn't want Cas to taste his morning breath. He didn't want to get up and move but he did want to kiss him so getting up to brush his teeth was the least he could do. 

Cas sat up and got out of bed, "Come on grumpy" he said, sticking his hand out. 

Dean scoffed and took his hand, he let him help him up even though he could perfectly do it himself. Cas led him to the bathroom and then walked out of the bedroom. Dean didn't want him to go but he knew Cas had to get ready for work and so did he. He began by splashing water on his face. Then he brushed his teeth, added a bit of water to his hair and combed it. 

Dean had never in his life jogged out of his room and into the kitchen as fast as he had now. Not even for food. He wanted to help Cas make breakfast and he wanted to get that kiss he didn't get earlier. Cas had on his usual work pants and white button down long sleeve. He was standing over the stove, Dean walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

Cas leaned into him and Dean rested his chin on his shoulder. Cas was making breakfast sandwiches. He was cooking sausages and eggs. He had the bread out so Dean figured he'd help out by heating them up. 

"Mind if I help?" 

"Not at all" 

He kissed the side of Cas's face before letting go and grabbing the bag. He walked towards the toaster and opened the bread. He slid two pieces in and pulled the lever down. He turned to look at Cas, he was taking the sausages out of the pan. 

He walked towards him and turned him around, placing a long sweet kiss on his lips. He tightened his grip on Cas waist pulling him close and angling his face. Cas was holding a spatula in one hand, the other was on the side of his face holding onto him like it was for dear life. 

Cas pulled on his bottom lip and he pulled on his upper lip. He slid his tongue into Cas's mouth, he could taste the minty toothpaste. Cas opened his mouth willingly and sucked on his tongue, it drove Dean crazy.

He pulled on the side of Cas shirt and pulled him closer although they were pretty much standing against each other with no more space in between them. He took a deep breath getting a good taste of Cas and then finally let go. _God,_ was he lucky. 

"The eggs are going to get burnt" Cas said with a smile. 

"Let them" he swooped in for another kiss, letting go with a nip to Cas's lip. 

"What are you going to have for breakfast if they do?" 

"You" 

Cas laughed and kissed _him_ this time. 

"Will you let me take them out or not?" 

"You're the one who kissed me" 

"Are you complaining?" 

"Of course not" He kissed him in the jaw and let him finish cooking the eggs.

He used this time to make them each a cup of coffee. He realized he didn't even have to drink coffee to wake up completely this morning. He took Cas's mug and smiled as he added the sugar to his coffee. Then he took his mug and added the butload of sugar he always did. 

He had forgotten about the bread, luckily it was set to low so the bread didn't get burnt, he added two more slices and waited for them to heat up. He heated four more before placing it on the breakfast bar. 

"Add as much as you want" Cas said. 

He smiled widely before taking some eggs and the sauce. He let out one of the biggest sighs after taking a giant bite from it. 

Cas chuckled, he made himself his own and said something like _oh wow, this is really good,_ with his mouth full. They drank their coffee quietly, _well,_ as quiet as they could be. 

Cas laughed every time Dean winked at him, grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. He was beginning to like kissing and flirting with him while making breakfast. After Cas was done eating he got up and washed a few dishes. He went back upstairs and finished getting ready. When he came back down he had on his blue tie and Dean did what he had been fantasizing about for a long time. 

He grabbed Cas by the tie and pulled him in real close. He pressed a soft but loaded kiss on his lips, when they pulled away his lips ached and Cas was breathless. 

"Been wanting to do that since I saw you with your tie" 

Cas grinned and grabbed onto Dean's face running his fingers through Dean's hair while he kissed him so passionately he couldn't even breath. 

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time" he said pulling away with a huge smile on his face. 

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and held him in place, taking in the sight of the guy he'd fallen for so hard, he still couldn't believe he was kissing him. He leaned his face close and pressed their foreheads together, Cas smelled so nice it made his heart flutter, he kissed him one last time before letting go. 

"If you don't go now, I might never let you leave." 

Cas laughed, "I might not want to leave either"

He placed one last lingering kiss on Dean's forehead, "I'll see you later Dean" 

"Later sunshine" He sat on the stool watching as Cas disappeared down the living room. 

"Wait, Cas" Dean got up from his stool and walked towards him, "Can I walk you to your car?" 

"Of course" Cas smiled. 

Dean took his hand and together they walked to Cas's car. He closed the door for him after he had gotten in. He leaned down and kissed him through the open window. Cas smiled and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Bye" 

"Bye" 

Dean didn't want to let him go anymore but he stepped back. He smiled and waved goodbye at him as pulled out of the driveway. He got a honk in response and a big fat smile. 

His heart was heavy and his smile was huge. He wished neither of them had to go to work, that they could stay home and cuddle on the couch and of course make out. 

Then he remembered it was Friday, and that completely turned his gloomy mood around. He walked back inside and got dressed. He couldn't wait until work was over when it hadn't even begun yet. On his way to work the radio played a bunch of love songs and Dean didn't change the station, in fact he sang along to a few of them. He poured his heart out into each word, for the first time he really felt the lyrics.

He hummed ' _Can't fight this feeling'_ the whole time he was working on the hood of a car, the engine and rims.

Sam came over and helped him change the wheel of a car. He stared at him in confusion. 

"Dude" 

Dean looked over at Sam, _what_ he asked with a single stare. 

"If you don't stop I'm going to have that song stuck in my head forever"

"My bad" he wiped the rims with a shining oil, and again he hummed,

_And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight_

_your a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night_

_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

"DUDE" Sam shook his head, he wiped his hands on his suit and got up. 

"Sorry man, I just can't get it out of my head"

"What are you doing listening to love songs anyway?" 

"Nothing, it was just on"

"Hmmm" Sam stared at him intensely, "You seem different" 

"Same old me" 

"No, I picked up on it earlier when you got here, you didn't complain about having to move the sheet metal on your own, And when Bobby told you to clear out the trash you didn't say anything, hell you even did it with a smile" 

Dean grinned, he was impressed, but then again he rarely smiled when it came to trash duty. 

"You're smarter than you look Sammy" 

Sam scoffed. 

"Okay, so I might be in a good mood and it maybe be because of Cas" 

"I knew it! There's no way you'd act so lovey dovey on your own, so what's happened?" 

Dean smiled, Sam seemed way too excited.

"Cas might've said he likes me too, and we might have slept in the same bed" 

"Don't give me any details" 

"Not like _that_ , Anyway I woke up the in the best way possible and it started off my good mood" 

"That's great Dean, I'm happy for you" 

Dean smiled, so was he and he didn't think things could get any better. He had been wanting Cas for a long time and finally being able to be with him was the greatest thing he could imagine. 

Everything about today seemed to be going great. They finished changing all four wheels and then headed inside for their lunch. He asked Bobby if he could use his truck to get his grill from storage. He let him under the condition that they brought it back by Saturday. He asked Sam to help him drive the truck to his house. 

He pulled his phone out and texted Cas for a while. He missed him already, he was dying to see him. There were a lot of hearts being sent back and forth. They also sent each other pictures of cute fat animals. 

He also texted Jo and Charlie. He told them all about them, and how great everything was. They kept fangirling over them, he didn't mind all the attention. They also kept asking for pictures of them together and as weird as it was he said he'd send them any if he took some. 

After lunch he and Sam continued with their work. He helped a few customers and stored a few things. He also helped Bobby prepare for the deliveries he was going to go do. 

They closed up and then headed to the storage building he kept his stuff in when he couldn't fit it in his tiny apartment. Sam drove the truck over, they both loaded up the grill and a few other things like a foldable table and chairs. He had forgotten he had so much furniture and he loaded whatever he could fit. Sam helped him unload the truck before he left home.

Dean was a little sad when he got home and saw Cas wasn't there. He must have still been at work so he texted him. 

When Cas didn't answer he decided to drive over to the store to buy a few things for Sunday. He also drove to a small furniture store that custom made furniture. He finally bought a dining table and a nightstand that he ordered to have tiny bees engraved on it. He was thinking about Cas moving into his room already. The thought made him happier than it should have. His stuff would be delivered by Sunday. 

He drove home with such a big smile his cheeks ached. When he realized Cas wasnt home yet he texted him again and like last time he didn't respond. He didn't want to read too much into it.

Half an hour went by and then an hour. Dean was getting more and more worried by the minute. He called Jess and asked her if she had heard from Cas. She told him she hadn't, and gave him Meg's number. He spammed her until she replied. 

MEG: what's going on? 

DEAN: I can't get a hold of Cas have you talked to him

MEG: No not since this morning 

DEAN: I've been texting him for the past hour non stop and he wont answer

MEG: okay dont worry I'm sure hes fine 

MEG: I'll ask gabriel maybe he's heard something 

Dean waited patiently until Meg texted him. His head started to think about the worst case scenarios. His heart hurt and so did his head. What if Cas had been in an accident? He could be in the hospital right now for all he knew. His phone vibrated and he jumped so quickly open it. 

MEG: Gabe hasn't heard anything. 

MEG: if something would have happened to him they would have already called Gabriel 

MEG: Maybe he's just stuck at work and has his phone off 

DEAN: I hope so

MEG: I'll let you know if I hear anything from him

DEAN: thanks Meg and I'll do the same

He sat on the couch trying to calm down, maybe he 'was' just running late to get home. But why was he so late? It was almost 4:30, two hours since he came out of work. His fingers tapped vigorously on his knee and his feet on the floor. 

His heart jumped when a spam of texts blew up his phone. He saw they were from an unknown number. :Hello

:is this Dean

:I'm a friend of Castiel's 

:My names Anael 

ANAEL: I work with him

ANAEL:I was wondering if he's at home

DEAN: yeah I'm Dean

DEAN: he's not home. 

ANAEL: oh I've been trying to reach him but he won't answer

DEAN: Same here

ANAEL: I wanted to make sure he was okay

DEAN: why was everything okay at work

ANAEL: yeah, usually we left together but I had to stay behind and finish a few things. 

ANAEL: I was driving home when I saw him parked on the side of the road and he was crying in his car

ANAEL: I turned around but when I got to the spot where he was parked he was gone 

ANAEL: I got worried and since he did answer me I tried to remembered your phone number from a note I saw on him

Dean felt worry spread throughout his body. Why the hell was Cas crying on the side of the road? it didn't make any sense. He tried not to imagine what could have happened to him to make him cry. 

DEAN: Thanks for telling me 

DEAN: I'll try him again and I'll let you know if I get a hold of him

ANAEL: alright thank you

He texted Meg about what he had learned. She told him Cas didn't seem sad this morning when she saw him. He was actually very happy and smiley. Dean knew he had something to do with that. But his heart broke when he thought of Cas crying. And his heart made a full on leap when he got the notification that Cas had sent him a text. He said he was okay and he just needed some time to think. 

Dean kept asking him if he was sure he was okay but Cas wouldn't answer anymore. He texted Meg and she said he had told her the same thing. After a while of texting her she told him he probably went somewhere to think and then she told him about a park he used to go to with Gabriel when they were kids. 

It was in one of the towns over where Cas used to live. He grabbed his keys and drove all the way there. Meg told him as soon as she had the chance to get out of work she'd meet him there. Gabriel was away on a business trip so he couldn't go check on him. Dean felt like it was up to him to make sure Cas was truly okay. He was uneasy the whole way there. 

As soon as he got to the park he practically jumped out of the car. The sky was golden, it was around 5 in the afternoon. The park was big and he didn't know if he'd even find him. The good thing was that it was kind of lonely and he wouldn't have to worry about all the people walking around.

He followed the dirt path that wrapped around the whole park. Looking every which way trying to find him. And then he saw him. 

He was sitting in front of a small pond on an old wooden bench. He sighed so loudly with relief, finally seeing him for the first time since this morning felt like it had been forever ago. He jogged to the back of the bench and held on to it. 

"Cas?" he walked up beside him and stood watching him. His heart sank, Cas looked so broken. He had streams of dried tears running down his face and his nose was red. But he managed a smile as soon as he saw Dean. He felt like his heart had been stabbed a hundred times, his smile was happy to see him but his eyes said something different. 

"Hello Dean" His voice was broken, Dean sat down beside him itching to hug him. He wanted to wrap his arms around Cas and hug him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath. But he didn't know if Cas wanted that. He had told Dean he wanted time to think and that mostly means _alone_. Of course he didn't hear him and came anyway because sometimes it's better to not be alone. He knew that all too well. 

"What's wrong?" 

He didn't know if Cas would answer him, but he wanted him to know he was there to help him through anything. Dean really did care about him and he didn't want him to go through whatever he was going through alone. 

"I saw him" 

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. _Him_ who the hell was _h_ _im_? And why did he make Cas so sad. He was confused and he could feel a pit of anger growing at the bottom of his stomach. Knowing that someone out there made Cas cry, made him so sad, angered him. Cas deserved nothing but good and kindness. He thought about it and then he realized he knew. 

"Where?" 

He could begin to hear the anger in his voice. Cas bit his bottom lip before answering. 

"I- uh- I was going to get something from a cafe, and he was there" Cas's voice broke. 

Dean scooted closer. His heart hurt so much, it was heavy. "Did he do anything to you?"

"I mean maybe I overreacted but he said I looked good" he sniffled, " _why_ would he say that?" 

Cas blinked and two tears streamed down his face. 

"What did he do to you? Cas" 

He looked at Dean, he bit his lip again as if trying to decide whether to tell him or not. 

He sighed "He used me" 

Dean could begin to feel his blood boiling, he didn't want to think what he was thinking. 

"He um- used me for my money, for my home and- and for pleasure, and maybe it was my fault. I was so distant. I was always so busy with work and I kind of drifted apart from him. I wish I would have done better or done something differently. I used to blame myself for not pleasing him enough. I would get busy and he'd want to do it and I would tell him no, he wanted to do it when I was tired. He would- he would come home at random points in night and he'd want to have sex. I would let him because I thought it might fix things. Then he started to tell me how it didn't feel the same anymore, I was always stressed with work and with all the debts that suddenly pilled up. I wasn't as relaxed. He would sleep right next to me but he wouldn't see how bad he was hurting me, I used to cry myself to sleep. He was the reason why we had so many debts, I didn't figure that out till later. All the money I had saved up had been used on things I didn't even know about."

Tears were streaming down Cas's face. Dean hated seeing him hurt like this, it was painful not only to Cas but to him too. 

Dean got even closer, he took a deep breath. His insides were boiling but he had to calm down. If he wanted to help he had to be calm, being angry wasn't going to solve anything and he knew that. He understood now why Cas wasn't ready to have sex with him. And he couldn't blame him after being used like that, it was bound to make anyone insecure and scar them forever. He didn't want him to hurt like that anymore. 

"Cas, listen to me, it wasn't your fault, how could it be. You, are nothing but good. He was wrong to hurt like that. And I hate that he's still hurting you. I wish to God he didnt exist" Dean was up real close to Cas's face now. "Some people are just assholes and they don't deserve good things. He didn't deserve you and you deserved better. What he did to you was wrong and there was nothing you could have done, to change that."

He hoped Cas didn't blame himself anymore. After everything hed been through he didn't deserve to bring himself more pain. It was going to kill him. 

"But I always got mad at him, for the smallest things, and I shouldn't have. The first year was good, by the half of the second year was when we started to have issues. I tried to do everything I could to make things right, maybe I should have tried harder. I should have spent more time with him. He would always come home late, and I'd get so mad. Later I found out it was because he was sleeping with someone else. For half of the time we were together he was with someone else. I know I wasn't enough for him, and that hurts so much too. I think about it constantly, I wasn't good enough in bed and I wasn't good enough out of it. It's become one of my fears what if I'm still not good enough?" 

Dean could feel a sting in his eyes and he knew he was going to cry. Cas had been used 'and' cheated on. He knew exactly what that felt like. All the anger that kept growing inside him, was getting harder to control. He wanted nothing more than to go out and hunt the asshole who hurt Cas like this. And of course Cas was good enough, it was that idiot's fault for not seeing it, and for losing him. He realized Cas was talking about them, what if he was enough for him. He had to tell him he was. 

"You couldn't have done anything to stop him from cheating. He would have always done it, even if you guys had made up. There is nothing wrong with you, I want you to know that. And I'm so sorry this happened to you it shouldn't happen to anyone, especially you. _You_ are good enough, so much more than enough. If he couldn't see it that was his fault, but you are enough" 

_Enough for me_

Dean didn't know if it would be too soon to pop a love confession. What with all the emotions he was going through, and he was going to wait until Cas looked calmer. He felt a tear roll down his cheek. He moved his hand up and onto Cas's face. Cas's eyes were so red from crying and a tear hidden in the corner of his eyes rolled down his cheek onto Dean's hand. Cas leaned into his hand and closed his eyes, a small smile grew from his frown. His lips quivered and his breathing was shaky. 

"I'm sorry" 

"Why are you sorry?" 

"Because you had to listen to me and see me cry like a baby"

"That's nothing to be sorry for, I'm glad you told me, and I think you're a cute baby" 

Cas laughed and _God,_ was it good to hear him laugh. He was going to do everything he could to keep him that way. 

"I guess seeing him again brought back everything I had been trying to avoid. And then when he said those words to me it hurt more than anything I had ever felt. And the worst part was, he was with someone else." 

Dean was trying to figure out if Cas still felt some sort of attraction for him. 

"Do you still love him?" 

Cas's eyebrows furrowed, and then his face turned the most serious he'd ever seen, "No, what I feel for him are many things but love isn't one of them. I guess it sounds like I'm jealous but that's not it. I wish I would have said something to the other person, I just want to save them from all the pain I went through, or I'm still going through. It's part of the reason why it affected me so much. I don't want him to be with someone else just so that he can hurt them like he hurt me. And I feel guilty that I didn't do anything to stop them." 

_Could you be any better?_ Dean thought. He felt like an idiot, here he was thinking that Cas might be jealous, when in reality he just wanted to help. Like always Cas was thinking about others. And whatever control he had over his arms was gone. He wrapped his arms around Cas's back and pulled him into one of the tightest hugs he's ever given anyone. 

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and hugged him just as tight. He heard a muffled _thank you,_ from Cas who had his face buried in his chest. 

"For what" 

"For understanding me, I know I'm a mess and I'm glad you're here with me. I've never really told anyone this specifically about me and him, I talked about it with Meg but I kind of avoided going deep into the topic, so thank you" 

Dean's heart was so heavy he was sure it would break a scale. Cas was being so vulnerable with him more than his closest friend and it made him so happy. 

"I'm glad you told me, and for the record we can be messes together." 

"Do you want to tell me about it? Cause I'm here for you" 

He was sure his smile was stretched from ear to ear. Hearing Cas say that filled him with joy, and any anger that was in him slowly died down. He kissed the side of Cas temple and took a deep breath of his hair. 

"Yeah" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did cry when I wrote don't know if it brought you tears or not, maybe its cause I'm very emotional. Thank you for reading (sorry) 😊🖖💕


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has so much to think about, past experiences and new ones. And about Dean, who's turn it is to be vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2! ☺ Sorry about the long wait but I think it'll be worth it.

Castiel missed the feeling of having someone lay beside him the way they were. He ended up on the same pillow as Dean, with his arm over his side. He woke up a minute before him laying in silence taking in the sight of Dean's sleeping face. His bed hair was just as good as ever, and the air around them was sweet. His smile was the biggest he'd ever woken up with. 

The weight of Dean on him was more than enough to pull him back into slumber. He knew that if he closed his eyes he'd fall asleep and wake up way later. He didn't want to risk closing his eyes for just a second, lucky Dean's green eyes saved him. Dean looked so sleepy and his eyes closed as soon as they opened. How could he fall asleep now, when all he wanted was to stare at the green eyes, that glistened in the sunlight. Dean's smile was so sweet it made his cheeks warm. Dean ran his fingers through his hair, 

"Morning Sunshine" 

That got him, he didn't know why but for some reason saying it now felt different. His face got red and to keep Dean from seeing how red his face was he hid himself in Dean's neck. 

A muffled "Morning Dean" was all he could say, he was feeling slightly overwhelmed. And it wasn't negatively.

Last night Dean had showed him how incredibly sweet and good he was to him. He could tell Dean wanted more than anything to have intercourse but when he told him he couldn't he stopped. 

He stopped and listened to what he said. He didn't get angry at him and he didn't push him away. He felt so welcomed in his arms at night when they fell asleep embracing each other. It felt right and he felt at peace. The rush of arousal slowly left and it was followed by bliss.

He wanted to be intimate with Dean so so much but he knew he wasn't ready yet and he didn't want to push himself. He remembered what Anael had told him about making sure he didn't feel pressured. And he wanted to be completely ready before he and Dean did anything. He wanted to make sure their first time was amazing for Dean and for himself most importantly. 

And he fell even more for Dean, who was compassionate and understanding and didn't force him to keep going when he didn't want to. He was right, Dean was worth it. 

The pressure of Dean's squeeze made him feel so happy. He loved the way Dean held him close and tight. He loved the feeling he got when they were together, just the two of them. 

Dean placed a kiss to his forehead and it sent a rush of happiness all the way to his toes. He smiled widely, and they lay there for just a little while longer before he got up. He helped Dean off the bed and walked him to the bathroom before walking to his room. 

They had only been together for a day but he felt like it had been forever. He didn't like separating himself from him and leaving him, but he had to get over it. He needed to go to work and so did he. He got dressed and brushed his teeth faster than he ever had. He could hear the water still running in Dean's room so he walked downstairs to get breakfast started. 

He was so freaking happy he couldn't explain it. Waking up with Dean was definitely his favorite way to start the morning already. He cracked a few eggs and got some sausages out the freezer. 

He had gotten a different brand than what he used to get. The other one reminded him of his past too much. And it was time to start new, he wanted to give it another try and of course he wanted to do it with Dean. He was going to do better this time and he only hoped Dean would accept what he gave him, and didn't ask him for more than he was comfortable giving, for now.

He was busy flipping the sausages and the eggs, so much he didn't notice Dean had come downstairs until he felt his arms wrap around his waist. He greeted the feeling with joy and a huge smile, it was so inviting he couldn't help but lean into him. The weight of Dean's chin on his shoulders felt so right, like it was meant to be there all along. He really was happy here with Dean and he didn't think there could be a better feeling.

He was wrong, not only because of the small kiss Dean placed at the side of his face that sent sparks to the rest of skin that surrounded it, but of what he did after. 

Dean started heating up the bread he had laid out and then came back for a kiss. And man did it send him. 

He had almost forgotten the feeling of Dean's lips on his. He loved the plump and softness of his lips. And how perfectly they fit with his. The hand he had placed on the side of Dean's face only gripped onto him tighter. He followed Dean's lead after he pulled on his upper lip by pulling on his bottom lip. He was so lost in the movement of their lips working together to satisfy one another he sucked on Dean's tongue. It sent goosebumps down his back all the way down to his legs. He thought maybe he had gotten a little out of hand, but then Dean tightened the grip on his shirt and skin pulling him closer. 

They moved their mouths together, angling their faces in different directions to get the most out of their kiss. It was more than perfect and he really didn't know how he had gotten so lucky. Dean licked the back of his teeth only sending more chills down his body. When they pulled away he was more than satisfied, and he knew Dean was too. 

"The eggs are going to get burnt" 

_Smooth_ he thought, but what could he say after that. The kiss was more than perfect and he was at a loss for words. He threw in a smile to let Dean know he didn't hate it. 

"Let them" he said, with a big fat grin before stealing another kiss from him. 

"What are you going to have for breakfast if they do?" 

"You" 

Boy, did he have to learn not to blush every time he said something unexpected like that. He knew Dean did it because he thought his blush was cute. And he hated that he couldn't make Dean blush as much as he made him. But maybe he could surprise him. So when he was finished laughing he pulled Dean in for another kiss. It seemed to stun him for a second and he took it. 

After Dean let him finish cooking but not without a kiss to the jaw, they sat and made themselves their own breakfast sandwiches. Dean kept flirting with him and he had to be very careful not to choke on his coffee. He loved _this_ already and he could only hope to get closer the more they were together. He wanted to keep it going with Dean because he brought him so much joy, it was insane.

He finished his breakfast, washed a few dishes and then went upstairs to grab his bookbag laptop and tie. He came back down stairs to say goodbye to Dean. And of course he caught him by surprise, and he thought he'd be prepared for anything. 

Dean took him below the knot of his tie and pulled him in for a kiss, that left him both breathless and in a daze. Dean applied just the right pressure on his lips that only made him want more. He knew he wouldn't want to leave anymore if Dean kissed him again. 

So he calmed down with his help, while resting their foreheads together. Before Dean dropped his hands from his waist Cas placed a kiss on his forehead. They said goodbye, but then Dean came over to walk him to his car. He secretly wanted Dean to walk him out of the house but walking to the car was even better.

He got to hold his hand and got butterflies in his stomach. They kissed one last time before he pulled out of the driveway. He honked and smiled at the waving Dean standing at the end of the driveway. His beating heart was in his ears and his face was so hot, if this was how he'd feel doing this every morning he didn't mind at all.

He drove to his best friends apartment before work. He had to tell her all about his morning he needed someone to freak out with and there wasn't anybody better than her. 

They both squealed and laughed at everything he said. She gave him pointers on the best way to flirt with him. Cas had no idea how'd he survive without her. 

She told him about the internship she was going to hopefully start in a few weeks, once he had gotten all his emotions out of his system. Which turned out to not have actually left because everytime he thought of Dean and his devilish handsome grin his heart would flutter like crazy. And to return the favor he helped her by telling her the best ways to make an impression on her interview. 

Work had gone extremely well and his students could tell he was in way too good a mood, a few of them even told him it was a bit creepy how much smiling he was doing. He laughed it off and told them it wasn't a big deal he was just in a real happy mood. He and Anael went out for lunch and he got a chance to text Dean. He had on a smile the whole time and Anael kept teasing him about it. 

"And who might that be?" 

"Just Dean" 

"Oh, _just_ Dean" 

"Yeah" 

"What's he saying that's got you smiling so wide" 

"Nothing"

"Oh God, its not something inappropriate" 

"What, no!" 

"I'm just playing, but judging from your reaction I bet it is" 

"I wouldn't do that to you while you're eating and while you're here" 

" _Oh,_ so you do send each other inappropriate stuff" 

"Oh my god" 

She laughed like crazy making him laugh just as much. 

He missed Dean and they had only been part for a few hours, but how could he not miss him. Dean meant the world to him now and he wanted to be with him every second of the day. He kept forgetting it was Friday and that in a few short hours they'd both be at home hanging out together, maybe even cuddle on the couch? 

His good mood continued throughout his lunch and class. He hadn't necessarily said anything about it but when his third class kept bugging him he let it slip. It was one of those weird days where his schedule was switched so he had his third class instead of his second. 

They all told him he looked like he was in love, (they were of course just joking around) the expression on his face gave it away. He hadn't expected to come out to his class on that day but it happened when they kept asking who the lucky person was. They took it well and only made sounds to prove how immature they really were. 

He had to stay after class grading a small assignment he had left and once he was done he walked to Anael's classroom. She was grading an exam and she was going to stay a bit longer to finish the last handful. She told him to leave and enjoy his weekend. 

He was sitting in his car waiting for the cars to clear out of the parking lot when he remembered Anael told him about a cafe that sold fresh pie. It was on her way to work and she used to stop by all the time. It was on the other side of campus but he decided he would go check it out, because he had suddenly started thinking about Dean. 

He drove to the Cafe and parked a few parking spaces behind the it. He walked inside and was immediately greeted by the smell of baked bread and coffee beans. He walked behind the last person in line admiring the theme. 

It was old and vintage, with pink and blue pastel colored walls. The chairs were also pastel pink and yellow, along with the tables. There were potted plants along the bottom of the wall. 

He was lost in the smell and the growling of his stomach he nearly missed the faint sound of a laugh. From the back of his head he knew he recognized it, and a lump began to form at the back of his throat. He tried to swallow but his throat started to close up, he was as stiff as a board. The voice that was etched to his brain was right behind him. Then he heard the voice of a younger man. He could feel tears begin to form at the corner of his eyes. 

"I ordered it earlier so we wouldn't have to wait" 

"Thank God, I did want to wait in this long ass line" 

"I know, that's why you pre order. I didn't want to be late to the airport. Now come on" 

He felt him brush past him and immediately looked down.

_Please don't look at me, please dont look at me_

His fists were clenched and his blood was hot. He didn't want to look at him, he didn't want to see his face, he didn't want to remember everything all at once and break down crying. 

He tried breathing but it was hard, his lungs refused to let in the air he was desperately trying to take in. He heard them walk to the counter and laugh at something. They took their stuff and he watched their feet walk past them. 

_He didn't see me_

He could finally breathe and a small broken smile grew on his face. But he spoke too soon. He felt a tap on his shoulder and on instinct looked up and turned around. 

His heart dropped to his stomach and his lungs stopped working again. There he was, the man he had hoped he'd never see again, the guy who broke his heart. That broke him. And as if on cue every bad memory of his past replayed in his head. His smile was completely gone, and he was bitting on his bottom lip to hold back a sob. 

The feeling of being alone and heartbroken and used felt all too real. He remembered the nights he'd come home drunk and angry forced him to have sex. He remembered how he would let him, with hopes of helping him feel better and fix their broken relationship. 

He remembered all the times he left him alone at home claiming to be at work when really he was sleeping with some else. He remembered the anger he felt when he found out he was using the money to buy the other person gifts, beer and things he didn't even know about. He remembered all the sadness that was left behind when he finally broke free from him and his manipulation. 

He left him broke and a mess, he left him to fend for himself until he had the courage to tell his family about how shitty he felt after being used and then left behind like trash. He wished for such a long time he were dead and that he'd never have to see him. 

In his head he had played out everything he'd want to tell him _if_ he ever saw him. He'd shout about everything he did to him and how much he messed him up and he'd call him by every insult in the world. His thought were interrupted by the sound of his vile voice.

"I knew it was you, you look good" 

His lips quivered and he could feel the tears swelling in his eyes.

 _I look good? I LOOK GOOD!? What type of bullshit is that!?_

He could've said it out loud and yelled at him even more but he knew if he even tried as much as make a sound he'd start sobbing. So he held it in and stood as stiff as a wooden plank and nodded. 

"Babe are you coming or what?"

His eyes shifted to the entrance of the Cafe. The tears and bright light of outside made it harder to see but he tried to make him out as much as he could. A very young man stood at the door holding a small box. A small whimper escaped his shaking lips, he looked down because he knew the first of many tears had just rolled down his cheek. 

"I gota go but, I'll see you around Cas" 

Tears streamed down his face and chin onto the floor. He hoped he'd never see him again, because he might not be able to take a second encounter. He gasped for the air he desperately needed. 

He was full on sobbing now, and he could feel the eyes of a few people on him that felt like millions. He ran out the front door, tears pouring from his eyes. They burnt against the coolness of the air. He could hardly get in his car because of how badly his hands were shaking. Part of him wanted to die, part of him wanted to murder him and part of him felt guilty.

Once he was in his car he buried his face in his hands and let as many of the tears he had been holding back escape. He wanted to know why he felt guilty, of all things. But he couldn't with all the stares he was getting that felt like daggers to his heart. 

He turned on his car and drove. He had no idea where to, but he wanted to get away from there, he wanted to get as far away as possible. Driving was a lot more difficult than usual with all the tears fogging up his view and his hands that still wouldn't stop shaking. 

He was about a mile away when he remembered he didn't know where he was going. He couldn't go home, he didn't want Dean to see him like this. 

The last thing he needed was to make Dean question him, what would he do if he showed up with a runny nose and red eyes that stung. Shaking with anger and sadness, and doing nothing but crying. 

His lips quivered again, he missed Dean. He wanted Dean to wrap his arms around him and hold him close to his chest like he did when they slept. He wanted to hug Dean and breath into his shirt and feel his fingers through his hair. All he wanted was to be comforted, and taken care of. 

He hadn't gotten that from a boyfriend in a _l_ _ong_ time. That word stuck with him, _boyfriend_ that's what Dean was, his _boyfriend._ Boyfriend's help each other out, they provide comfort and love. But what if Dean thought he was too much work? 

To be fair he was pretty messed up, and he didn't expect Dean to help him through everything, anytime he felt bad. He couldn't demand all his attention and love anytime he needed it. The last thing he wanted was to wear Dean out, he didn't want Dean to feel like he was asking for too much and make him work and stress him out. 

He was afraid that all his problems would lead them to fall out, he didn't want Dean to leave him, he didn't want Dean to stop treating him with love and care. He hadn't had any of it in so long that when Dean gave him some he wanted more and more. He had to think, would it be the right thing to be with Dean. Would Dean be okay with him, all messed up. He sniffled and felt more tears leave his eyes. 

He didn't want to think about it while driving, it might not end well. He took the next left and used the freeway to get to the one place he knew he could think at. The one place he felt at peace and it cleared his head, a park. But not just any park, the one that was so special to him he'd want to be buried at. 

When he got there, as soon as he stepped into the dirt parking lot he felt a rush of energy rush through him. It was a very special place that he had a very strong sentimental attachment to. It was a park that he used to go to every week with his older brother Gabriel. 

It had become a sort of tradition between the two of them to come to this park. At least twice a week they walked from their house to the seven eleven a few blocks away from the park. They would grab a couple snacks, slurpees most of the time and head to an old wooden bench in front of a pond. They'd spend all day staring at the pond drinking their slurpees, watching the ducks. 

He walked down the dirt path admiring the flowers and trees. He loved this park, so many things had happened in this place. While drinking his cherry slurpee and Gabriel his blueberry one, they had seen many things. He remembered a few proposals and break ups, a few races, prank wars and parties and celebrations. He had seen all of that from the bench where he and his brother came to sit, to escape their drunk father who would come home and yell, about work and the people he worked with. 

He reached the bench and smiled when he saw the old, dirty stickers he and his brother had placed in the back of the bench. He still couldn't believe they were there, he was glad the packaging didn't lie about them being really sticky. 

He sat on his usual side of the bench and leaned back. He looked up at the sky and smiled. This was always going to be his special place. When he still lived in this town he came to this park a lot to clear his head or to think. 

_Right._

His face felt tight and he remembered the dry streams of tears he hadn't wiped away. He had actually forgotten about everything as soon as he stepped foot in the park. What he wanted right now was to figure out why he felt guilty. And as it turns out it wasn't too hard to figure out. 

He realized he felt guilty when he went back and thought about the young man who was at the entrance. 

He had the chance to say something, to tell him to find someone different, someone who could treat him a hell of a lot better than him. Castiel didn't want him to end up like himself, he didn't want him to be forced into doing something he didn't want. He didn't want him to turn out an emotional mess like himself. He feels horrible over the fact he let them go and didn't stop them. 

He could feel that his tears were back, he laughed at himself in disbelief of what an idiot he was. How could he just stand there when a new potential victim of _his_ existed. Who knew how many people he slept with and then left behind like worthless junk? He leaned into his knees and held his head with his hands. He looked down at the dirt floor.

He knew his phone must have been blowing up with worried texts. He wanted to let them know he was okay to at least ease them but he knew they'd keep asking so he didn't think he should. 

In the end he turned on his phone and texted Dean, Meg, Gabriel and Anael first, he saw Jess had texted him too. He smiled and said he was okay. He turned his phone off again and watched the ducks in the pond. 

_What about Dean?_

His brain didn't want to leave him alone, not even for a second. One thing was clear, he wanted to be with him. Dean made him happy, happier than he'd ever been in a long time. He even made him pick up on an old habit of humming when he was happy. But would it be the right thing for Dean? 

He didn't want him to carry him around, he only wanted to help and comfort Dean, not make him work more than he had too. He was aware of how emotionally unstable he was. He was aware of how much work he'd be if things didn't go right. But he loved Dean already and he didn't want to let him go. His fear began creeping up behind him. Was he good enough for Dean? Would he be enough?

He was afraid of boring him, and doing something that made him mad that would jeopardize their relationship. What if he was never ready to be intimate with him? He didn't want to chicken out every time they made out and were in the mood only to stop. He didn't want Dean to feel like he was just stringing him along.

He could only hope Dean could wait for him forever if that were the case. And if he got tired of waiting he would leave him, he would find someone better, someone who could give him everything. 

Now that hurt to think about, the tears that were busy forming in his eyes began rolling down his cheeks. He didn't want Dean to find someone else, he didn't want him with anyone else who wasn't him. He wanted him all to himself, he didn't want him to look at someone else the way he looked at him. 

He wished he would have brought some tissues or paper because his nose was definitely runny. He sighed and took a deep breath. Why did he have to fall in love with a cruel man? Why did he continue to live with him even though he knew their relationship was beyond fixing? Because he was selfish, he wanted to keep all his love and affection to himself. He wanted to stay together because he knew he might never find someone who was like him at the beginning. 

But here Dean was, the greatest man in the world and he was with him. He had found someone way better and he didn't want to ruin it. He really did miss him, and he wanted him here, sitting next to him. His smile alone could heal his broken heart.

He didn't want to cry over _him_ anymore. He only wished he didn't exist and that everyone he hurt was okay now. 

The rest of the afternoon he spent crying over Dean, his eyes were heavy and so was his heart he just wanted to lay in bed beside him, embraced in his arms. 

His heart raced and he could hardly hear over how loudly his heart was beating. He didn't turn because he though it might have been a trick of his head. But it wasn't, Dean had really driven all the way to this park to look for him.

He wondered how he knew but he didn't even have time to ask before Dean asked him if he was okay. He thought he was dried out and wouldn't be able to cry any longer but like always he was wrong. As soon as Dean asked him if he was okay, the tears began to form in the corners. 

He wasn't sure if telling Dean was the right thing, but he wanted to try it differently so he told him. He told him about some of the painful parts of his past. And in the end after all the crying he had done he _finally_ got the hug he had been wanting. 

He squeezed him tighter and tighter the last bit of his tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the softness of Dean's shirt. He even found out he might not be the only one with a broken heart. 

"Can I keep hugging you while I tell you?"

"Of course" 

"Okay, here goes" 

He was silent though. Cas didn't know if he really wanted to tell him or not. Even if he didn't, Cas didn't want to pressure him into telling him. He wanted Dean to tell him when he was truly ready.

"You don't have to tell me" 

"I- uh- I want too" 

Cas smiled on to Dean's chest, he gave him another squeeze to reassure him. 

"I guess what happened to me wasn't as bad as what happened to you. I can't even imagine what you had to go through. Yeah, I suffered a heartbreak who doesn't? But it was worse for you and I'm sorry you got hurt so much. I was cheated on and the only reason it lasted so long was because I was _hot_ and I was great at sex. There wasn't _anyone_ out there who remotely even cared about me. None of the people I slept with stuck around for more than just sex. It was all they wanted and at first I was okay with it. I didn't care much about why people were with me, as long as they were. But it got tiring, and I was getting sick of everyone looking at me like a worm on a fish hook. When I met Lee I finally felt happy. And at first I couldn't complain, everything was perfect and it really seemed like he didn't just care about my physical appearance. I _thought_ he actually cared and for a long time it seemed like it. But he ended up breaking my hopes of ever finding true love. I believed that there was no one out there who actually cared for me, apart from my family. He told me himself that I wasn't worth it, that what he had heard stopped being true. And so he left me for someone else, someone younger and who gave him a better fill. I didn't find out about it until half way through our relationship. I was going to surprise him one day after work, we had gotten into an argument the day before and I wanted to make up. He ended up surprising _me_ , making out in the alley behind his apartment with the younger guy he'd been sleeping with for some time. I remember the boiling of my blood, and my heartbeat ringing in my ears. I was going to beat the crap out of the guy but I didn't. I realized he wasn't worth fighting over. He tried calling me for days after I had caught him, and he tried to play it off as being innocent and not knowing what I was talking about. I got him to admit it a few days after the first 100 calls. It's when he told me _You're not worth any of my time, I can't believe I actually slept with you,_ and all the meanwhile I was holding back the urge to break his nose. I was lost and I thankfully had people all around me helping me through it." he smiled "Even though they sometimes annoyed the crap out of me." 

Cas was aware of how deep in his stomach his heart was. He couldn't believe that no one wanted Dean. He had no idea why anyone would be so cruel to him. He'd only known Dean for a few weeks and he was crazy about him.

They'd been together for a day and he couldn't get enough of him, he could stop thinking about him. He tightened his grip around the back of Dean's neck. He wanted to cry just hearing about the way Dean was treated. 

"I'm sorry too. You don't deserve to be hurt. Maybe you only got cheated on but it's still horrible. I'm so sorry he hurt you. You are worth it, completely. You might not want to believe it because from what I hear he broke you pretty bad. I hate that he did that to you. And I wish I could do whatever it took to help you. And I'll prove to you that you're worth the time." 

Cas could hear Dean taking a deep breath. He felt his arms around his waist tighten their grip. And then he felt Dean's soft warm lips on his temple. He looked up at him and Dean's eyes were wet. 

He smiled, "You may not realize it but you're already helping. By just sticking with me and caring, is enough for me. You don't even have to give me more than you want and it would be enough. I was angry for a long time but I don't want to be angry anymore. Talking about it with you helps, kind of like therapy." 

Dean gave him another one of his soft smiles and Cas's heart was able to get the boost it needed. He could feel the tears in the back of his eyes. 

"I'm glad. And I'm going to keep it that way. I also don't want to be sad about it anymore. I want to stop crying over him and even though it's painful to talk about you're right it helps. I already feel so much better about it now that I told you. I want to do things differently with you, because I'm scared a shit that I'll mess up as soon as we start. And I want you to know that I think you are worth it to me. Being with you has been the best thing to happen to me and we've only been together for a day" 

Dean laughed and he couldn't help but laugh too. 

"You give me so much love that it's scary. Not because I don't like it or anything but because I'm afraid I'll mess up and it'll go away. You're more than your looks. I love that you can be a dork sometimes. I love that you geek out about horror movies and star trek, among all your cowboy movies. I love that you have a sense of humor, that I'd go crazy without now. And not to mention the adoration you have towards my food. Everything about you is incredible and I wish you'd see it too. I don't want you to keep thinking what he said was true. You're worth it to your family and you're worth it to me. So thank you for making things better for me. I'd be lost without you actually." 

Dean looked down as a few tears rolled down his cheek, he looked back up with a shaky smile. Cas pressed the sides of their faces together and they sat in silence embracing each other. 

Seeing Dean cry only made him cry, he wasn't sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness he hoped for the ladder. After a while of sniffling from both of them Dean spoke. 

"I love you, you know"

Cas looked at him. There was shock all over his face, was Dean just joking? Or did he really mean it. His nose itched and he knew he wanted to cry again. He didn't think he'd ever hear those words referring to him again. If it was a joke it was a cruel one. He didn't know Dean felt love for him already and it surprised him, but it wasn't like he wasn't in the same department.

He hugged him even tighter and buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck. If he really meant it, that it wasn't a joke, it was real than he was the happiest person in the whole world. He loved him too, after thinking he'd never be able to love again he loved him. And he couldn't wait for the love he felt for him to get stronger. He inhaled deeply enjoying the breath of Dean he'd just gotten. 

"I love you too" 

Dean's shoulders sank and he could feel him breathing against him, again. He smiled into Dean's warm skin, and rubbed his nose against him. Dean looked down at him and smiled before pulling his face into a kiss. He missed his lips, but Dean in general. He missed the feeling of them against his. The softness and warmth that they emitted. The soothing feeling that spread throughout him. 

He kissed back with every little emotion he had, anger, sadness, loneliness, making it one of the most passive kisses he'd ever given anyone. He held the side of Dean's face, burying the tips of his fingers in his hair. He missed the feeling of Dean's hand resting on his waist and back. His insides felt warm and gooey. The comfort and company of Dean was unreal he always felt like it would go away the minute he opened his eyes. 

Their second kiss was happier and more fast paced than the first. But it was just as good. Dean sucked on his tongue and it made chills run down his whole back. Their lips worked together to satisfy each other. He angled Dean's face for the perfect amount of contact. Dean's plump lips kissed him with more force. He parted his mouth waiting for Dean to stick his tongue in his mouth, he longed to feel it against his own. He felt it lick the back of his teeth making him melt into the feeling. He pulled down on Dean's lip making Dean pull his. 

They pulled away with huge smiles on their faces. They sat staring at each other, Cas had been trying so hard to not do that, he had given up. He was scared of catching feelings for him but it was way too late. Now he loved when they did that it was the best thing in the world. 

"God you're beautiful" Dean said. 

"You're not so bad yourself. Thank you for coming to get me" 

"Anytime Cas and I guess I got some thanking to do too, for listening to my sob story" 

Cas ran his fingers through his hair and held his face, he smiled and kissed him one more time. 

"Of course" 

They sat on the bench for a while longer. He told Dean all about the bench and the park after he asked him why he chose to come here. They watched whatever was left of the sunset. They did some people watching and caught a proposal happening across the pond. Cas leaned on Dean's shoulder and Dean wrapped his arms around him. 

He found out Anael went through all the trouble of remembering Dean's phone number she saw once on a piece of paper he had. After letting her know he was okay and apologizing for taking so long, he sent Meg a text too. She said she was there and she was walking towards them.

They all sat, huddled together on the bench talking for the rest of the afternoon. Meg scolded him at first saying he couldn't just take off like that and scare the shit out of her. But she eased out of it and then there was only joy left. Hanging out with Meg always made everything better and now he had someone else to make things even better. He held Dean's hand to remind himself Dean was real and he was there with him. 

It was really dark by the time they got home. He had driven all alone in his car back home with Meg and Dean following behind him. He got out of his car to say goodbye to Meg before he and Dean continued to drive home. 

He smiled when he stepped into the house. It was a sight for sore eyes. His new chance at love was great and he couldn't have it any other way. He walked to the couch and sank into the cushions, holding Dean's hand. Dean gave him a kiss on the forehead and let go of his hand, he walked to the kitchen to make him something to eat. 

Castiel was tired emotionally and physically. All the crying he had done today gave him a headache. He didn't want to be away from Dean for a second so he got up and walked to the kitchen. He walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist he pressed his face onto his back and smiled. He was happy like this, Dean's back was strong and full of muscle. 

He could hear a chuckle come from Dean. 

He stood behind him the whole time he was standing there. When Dean turned around he revealed four sandwiches on a plate. They ate their food and drank a beer. He didn't drink too much of it considering his already growing headache. 

When they finished eating they walked upstairs and headed for bed. He took a quick shower and this time he wasn't afraid of Dean seeing him shirtless. Sadly he was in his room when Dean came out of the shower. It wasn't like he wanted to see him but if he just happened too there wouldn't be anything wrong with it. 

They got under the sheets and held each other. Cas had his head on Dean's chest. And Dean had his arm around him. They talked for a while before going to bed. 

Cas was happy he told Dean, he could help him get over his fear now, he was sure of it. He knew that to start a relationship of right it was better if there weren't any secrets. He was glad Dean had told him too, because now he could do whatever it took to help him ease out of the past pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES I CRIED AGAIN 😭😭 (I'm a baby I know) I hope you liked this sad/deep chapter I promise to write happier ones!! 😊 Like always thank you for reading and feel free to comment if you'd like 💕


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Cas needs to feel better about yesterday is to go out and have fun. Dean has the perfect idea and they bring their friends along with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone's been doing great with everything that's been going on. 😊

French toast wasn't something Dean ate very often. He wanted to make something special for Cas so he decided this was a great way to start the morning.

Dean wanted him to have a great day since yesterday hadn't been so great. Seeing Cas so vulnerable and sad hurt him but also made him happy that he trusted him. He had told Cas about his past too. He talked about it with him because he wanted Cas to know he trusted him. That he really did love him even if it was too early to call it that. 

He whisked the eggs, vanilla and cinnamon. Then he turned on the stove, pulled out a small griddle and added oil. He dipped the bread strips into the egg mixture and then placed them on the griddle. Cas walked into the kitchen and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Leaning into his body and holding the sides of his face. It reminded him of their first good morning kiss. 

Of course he had been afraid of Cas tasting his morning breath. But Cas didn't use tongue or anything, he just angled Dean's face and placed a soft kiss that lingered and didn't involve them opening their mouths. They had actually gotten out of bed an hour after they woke up. Neither of them wanted to move. He didn't want to leave the comfortable spot beside Cas. 

He asked him if he wanted to do something that day. Cas said he had no idea what. He suggested going back to the botanic garden to try and see the butterflies this time. 

"I'll break in if I have too" 

"Really?" 

"Of course, anything to make you happy" 

"Anything?" 

"Anything" 

"Would you stop eating pie?" 

"Know your limits" 

It had made Cas crack up and so did he. Dean was keeping his promise, he'd make sure Cas was happy from now on. 

He asked if Jess and Sam could tag along since they had both been blowing up his phone for the last 2 hours. Soon they had made plans, they just had to get out of bed. He let Cas take a shower while he got started on breakfast. He planned on making French toast and feed Cas something other than pancakes. He had everything he needed already.

"What can I do to help?" 

"Another kiss wouldn't hurt" 

Cas chuckled, "Your toast is getting burned" 

"Shit" He flipped over the bread and found it nice and toasty, maybe a little too toasted. 

"I like it a little over cooked" 

"Sure, want some coffee?" 

"Please" 

Cas walked over to the counter and got started with the coffee machine. 

"Have they stopped spamming you?" 

"Thankfully yes, I don't think they sleep" 

"Me neither" 

"I asked them and they said they'd come, you should invite Meg" 

"You're right, I'm sure she could use a distraction she's been working non stop these past few days" 

"Could be a good way to destress" 

Cas nodded and handed Dean his mug. "Need more bread to dip in the eggs?" 

"Yeah" 

Cas walked over beside him, his shirt was damp and his hair was still wet, he had combed it a bit. They stood an inch apart working together to make breakfast. Dean loved to bother him, so every few seconds he'd bump into his side making him smile. He would bump Dean's hip back. He leaned side ways and placed a kiss to his temple. Cas sighed and leaned into his kiss. 

His heart felt heavy with love. He felt at ease like this. Then he remembered the way Cas said _I love you_ and it made sparks shoot out his heart. Cas's eyes were still watery but in them all he could see was love. His small smile was full of affection, and he was sure he'd melt into a puddle if he looked at him any softer. He was gonna keep Cas happy and treat him better than he'd ever felt. 

Cas turned to face him and held his face with his palms, careful not to dirty his face with egg. He pulled him close and kissed him, this time using tongue. 

Dean was surprised he was the first to slide his tongue in his mouth. But he couldn't care at all, because this sent all sorts of feelings down his back. He let go of the tongs and held his waist, invitingly parting his lips. He sucked on Cas warm tongue, and moaned against it. He didn't want to get out of hand but it might be hard. He slid his hand under Cas's shirt and felt the warm skin underneath. He could feel his hip bones under his fingertips. He gripped onto them, he couldn't wait till he got the chance to kiss them. They let go leaving a small trail of saliva on each of their lips. 

Cas still held his face and he still held his hips. Cas ran the back of his fingers along his cheeks and gazed at Dean with adoration in his eyes. 

Dean ran his fingers through Cas's dark damp hair. He pushed the front back and cupped the side of his face, with his left hand. 

Cas smiled, he dropped their gaze and looked at the stove before laughing. 

"Those are getting burned too" 

"Crap, you know, it's your fault" Dean said while taking out the bread. 

"My fault?" 

"Yeah, I don't know why you have to go around looking all beautiful" 

Cas laughed again, "I got lucky" 

"And I won the lottery, with you" 

"So did I, finally got myself someone to make me breakfast" 

"You're lucky I like you enough to cook for you" 

Cas shrugged, "I'm very likable" 

"I know" 

"And you're very cute, so I'd obviously let myself be likable" 

Dean smiled, he placed the French toast on a plate. 

"Not to mention you're blushes, they make you even more adorable" 

Dean's cheeks grew with warmth. 

"Okay, how 'bout you take out the other stuff" 

Cas walked over to the fridge with a grin on his face, clearly happy he made him blush. He brushed past him and then placed a kiss on his right cheek. 

Dean finished making the French toast. Cas got out the syrup, powdered sugar and chocolate chips. They added so much sweet stuff on their food it would give anyone a heart attack. 

"I'm impressed you could even eat that" 

"Well, it's not everyday I get French toast" 

Dean handed Cas another dish. Cas wiped it dry and stacked it. 

"Meg said she would come" 

"Great, well pick her up after we're done" 

They walked up the stairs and Dean went to his room to take a shower. When he was done he and Cas headed to pick up Meg at her apartment. Then they drove over to Sam's.

Jess was still getting ready so he, Cas, Meg and Sam sat in the living room waiting for her. 

"What is she doing in there?" 

"I've already said she's getting ready, you need to be more patient Dean" 

"It's not like were going to some fancy ball or something" 

"You must have a lot of patience Sam" 

"Mmhmm, I don't know how you deal with him Cas" 

"Well for one Cas doesn't take long to get ready, and second I have patience, just very little of it" 

"Some women just like to take longer, I for one don't" 

"We can tell" 

"You'd better watch out Clarence" 

"I think you look good, I like that leather jacket of yours" 

"Thank you Sam, I wish some people were nicer" 

"Yeah Cas, she looks great" Dean said bumping into him.

"I was just playing you always look good" 

"It's not going to be that easy to earn my forgiveness" 

"Not even for free food?" 

"Depends" 

"Burgers" 

"You're forgiven" 

Sam laughed, "You and Dean are a lot more alike than anyone" 

"Come on dude for a burger I'd do anything" 

"Exactly" Meg smiled at him. 

"What did I miss?" 

Jess was walking down the hall. She was wearing a white t-shirt and olive green shorts Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail. She wasn't wearing much makeup, just some mascara and light pink lipstick. 

"You took forever just for that?" Dean said pointing with his hand. 

"Excuse me but unlike you I want to look good" 

"What do you mean, I always look good" he said with a grin. 

Jess rolled her eyes with a smile "Hmm, Sure" 

"I think he looks very hot" Cas said with a grin. 

"Not as hot as my Jess" 

Meg laughed, "I would like to get going before a fight breaks out" 

They all nodded in unison and walked outside to their cars. Dean led the way while Sam and Jess drove behind them.

"Wow, so this is where you had your 'first' date?" 

"Yep, looks cool right?" 

"Yeah" she leaned on the back of the front seat

"Would have won anyone over bringing them here" She smiled at them both before getting off. 

Dean and Cas walked over to the rest who were standing on the grass. Dean took Cas's hand and they all walked inside. He hadn't noticed before but the sky was slightly gray. It was still hot out though so he didn't think much of it. Meg was the first to walk through the long tunnel. 

"Come on grandmas!" she walked faster than any of them. 

"Don't wander off too far" Cas yelled. 

"Alright Dad" she rolled her eyes before grinning and walking across the white bridge. 

"Guess she was really excited to look around" 

"Yeah, she's like a little kid" Cas said with a chuckle. He leaned onto Dean's shoulder and they walked slowly behind Sam and Jess. 

"You guys really are grandmas" Jess said with a smile. 

"You're the one that looks like a grandma" Dean said with a grin. 

"Sam, your brother's bothering me" 

"Guys" he said. 

He took Jess by the hand and pulled her forward. "I'm sorry you have to see these children argue" he told Cas. 

"I don't mind. Besides Dean makes an adorable child" he smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

"I'm not a child" 

Jess turned around and stuck her tongue out at Dean. He blew a raspberry at her. 

Sam rolled his eyes "Sure, now come on Meg left us behind" 

Cas laughed and pulled Dean forward. 

They walked through the garden again taking different paths than they had the first time they had come. Again they kept their eyes open spotting the weird posed statues. When they walked past the path where they had their first kiss Cas was blushing. 

Dean thought back on it and he remembered the feeling of their lips touching for the first time. It was sweet and soft. And he loved it. He stopped Cas from walking and held his waist. He lifted his face and kissed his small pink lips. He smiled when he tasted the cherry again. 

Cas smiled too and they kissed again more passionately than they first time. He remembered when they had gotten interrupted. He smiled even wider pulling Cas closer. His chest was pressed closely to his and it seemed like they were the only two there. He moved his hand under Cas's shirt again and gripped onto those hip bones he wanted. He pulled on his lips and sucked on his tongue, his breathing was deeper and his blood was burning. The blood was beginning to rush to his downstairs brain. He could feel the warmth radiate from Cas's chest, he was breathing heavily too. And the pressure of their kiss was getting stronger. 

"Ahem" 

They both let go with a gasp. Meg was standing a few feet in front of them. Her face was red and she had a smile on her face. 

"Sam and Jess want to go see the butterflies now" She turned around and walked back before turned back around with a grin on her face, "You guys should get a room" she laughed and kept walking. 

"What is it with place?" Cas said with red cheeks

"I've got no idea, can't even kiss my boyfriend in peace" 

Cas smiled. He kissed him once more before wrapping his hand around Dean's waist. Dean wrapped his arm around his shoulder and they walked to catch up to them. 

After finding the entrance to the tunnel that led to the butterfly room they walked down it. This one had pink flowers along with leaves dangling from the top. Sam was tall enough to reach for one of the flowers, he picked it off and put it in Jess's hair. 

Dean smiled. For a long time he had been wanting someone to do that too. Even after being with Lee he didn't feel like he could do a tiny gesture like that and he would like it. He was more into expensive things Dean wouldn't have been able to afford, and then he'd get mad at him for not getting it for him. 

He knew if he picked a flower and offered it to Cas he'd take it, hell he'd probably even blush. He was glad he finally had someone to offer things too. And even if it was something small and he'd love it. He squeezed the side of Cas's shoulder, just to remind himself he was real and a dream come true for him. Cas looked at him with his soft blue eyes and kissed the bottom of his jaw. 

Dean kissed him and they continued walking. They got to the two sets of doors and once they were inside they saw all the butterflies flying around. They were all different colors and sizes. His favorite were the blue ones not only because they reminded him of Cas but because they seemed to be the less afraid of them. 

A few landed on his shoulder and sat there for a while before flying off. He took his phone out and tried taking as many pictures as he could. He took a few of Sam and Jess. They were holding a few butterflies. Meg was holding two in each hand. She followed a few around walking between the rows of potted flowers. He loved when the blue butterflies landed on Cas, they only made his blue eyes pop even more. 

One of his favorite pictures of Cas was the one were a butterfly had landed on his nose. Cas had to stand perfectly still for it not to move so he could take the picture. Cas got a few pictures of Dean with a few butterflies that decided his hair was the perfect home. 

They walked down the rows and tried finding as many different types as they could. 

"Stop it. Sam!" Jess was shouting like a scared little girl. 

Sam was dying of laughter, he chased her down the rows of flowers and plants. He had his hand extended out. She ran behind Meg to shield herself from him. 

"What's in your hand?" 

"A spider" 

"Cool" Meg walked over to him and then laughed. She took what was in Sam's hand and walked towards Jess, "Its alright it's not even that big" 

She screamed when Meg threw it at her. 

Sam and Meg cracked up. 

Jess crossed her arms, "Jerks" 

"Oh come on don't get mad, it was just a small joke" Sam said reaching out to her. 

"You guys better be ready when I get you back" 

Sam hugged her and said "I know you don't mean it" 

"We'll see" 

Dean shook his head and followed Cas who was following a weird looking butterfly around. 

"I think its about to lay its eggs" 

"How do you know?" 

"Look at the way its wings are pressed together and its abdomen is twitching" 

"Wow, _you're_ a nerd" 

Cas shrugged with a smile. 

"A cute one" 

He bumped into Dean, "It's just something I picked up from when I studied bees" 

"Mmhmm definitely a nerd" 

They watched as the butterfly lay egg after egg. He wrapped his arms around Cas's shoulders and they continued walking down the row of flowers. Cas told him about them. 

He was really happy with Cas under his arm. He was happy with him in general. It didn't matter what he did or said Dean loved it all. He could listen to him talk about bees all day, if he wanted. Because every time Cas talked about something he loved he had a spark in his eyes and he'd smile the whole time, and Dean couldn't get enough of it. 

Jess came over and walked with them, she was still a little grumpy about Sam's hilarious prank. She wasn't really that mad anymore she just loved making Sam apologize every five seconds. Meg joined Sam too. 

"I'm hungry" Dean said, patting his stomach. 

"When are you not?" Sam said. 

"Yeah me too" 

"I knew you'd say it next" Cas told Meg. 

She smiled. 

"You guys want to go eat?" Jess asked. 

"Hell yeah!" 

"What should we eat?" 

"Burgers!" Meg yelled. 

Cas nodded, "I did promise" 

"Okay then" Sam said walking out the first pair of doors. 

When they were walking down the tunnel back to the bigger dome, Dean heard slight patters of rain. He looked through the glass windows and saw it was raining, luckily it wasn't too hard. They walked out of the garden and through the first tunnel. It was sprinkling and it smelled like wet grass. 

They stood at the entrance of the tunnel. Cas tugged on his arm, he had a wide smile spread across his face. 

"You afraid of a little water?" 

"Of course not" 

"Then come on" Cas pulled him out into the rain, Meg ran past them and put her arms up letting the water hit her face. 

She spun in the rain. Sam and Jess joined them in the rain shortly after. Her and Sam were stomping on the small puddles on the cement street. Cas ran to catch up to Meg. 

It had been a long time since he had run around in the rain. He jogged up behind them and stuck his arms up, he let the cold water hit his face. 

Cas walked towards him and hugged him, "thank you" 

"Of course, although I'm not sure what I did" 

"For being you" 

Dean smiled into his hair a breathed in his shampoo. He kissed the top of his head before kissing his lips. He held his face. He felt Cas's hand on his face, holding onto him tightly. He could feel the water trickling down their faces melting into their kiss. Cas hummed against Dean's lips. He could feel his smile. He held him close and sucked on his lips before letting go. He ran his hands through his wet hair. Cas radiated love and his soft smile made Dean's insides melt. 

_God_ did he love him. 

He held him in a tight hug. He wanted to cry because of how happy he was. He really believed for a long time he wouldn't find true love. He had given up after his last relationship. He was so happy he could shout it from the top of his lungs. Cas made him hopeful he made him believe. The minute they had seen each other he knew he was different. 

Cas was really too good for him and he felt like he didn't deserve him. He hadn't gotten lucky before and he was afraid of it ending up the same with him. But he knew now it wouldn't. Because Cas needs him just as much as he needs him. 

Cas meant the world to him now and he was going to make sure to not mess up what they had. He wasn't going to ever let him go, and he wasn't going to let anyone hurt him ever again. Cas showed him that love is really out there and sometimes you have to wait a long time for it and have to go through heartbreaking things. 

He gave him one last squeeze before letting go with a kiss to his cold wet forehead. 

"I think it's time to get inside the car" 

"I think so too, the rain got stronger" 

Meg followed them and got inside Baby. They sat in the car letting the heater warm them up. Sam called Dean and told them to follow him, because he knew a nearby burger joint. 

The rain had slowed by the time they were parking. Cas said he'd pay for everyone but Dean couldn't let him pay for his. So they both shared the bill. They all ate burgers, Sam of course was the only one who ordered a salad. 

"Do you always get a salad?" Meg asked, her mouth stuffed with fries. 

"I try to be healthy" 

"You already are" 

"Your right, I think you should try it Dean" 

"No thanks I don't think I'd survive eating that stuff" 

"Suit yourself, I'm sure Cas likes to be healthy too" 

"I try" 

"You want to try some of my salad?" 

"Hey! Woah, don't try to convert him" 

"Why not? I need someone on my side" 

"I think you're perfectly okay by yourself, I don't need anymore vegans" 

"I'm only trying to help him, living with you might kill him" 

"For your information I don't eat junk food every day" 

"That's hard to believe" 

"No its not" 

"I'll believe it when I see it" 

"Oh yeah" 

"Is it always like this?" 

Jess laughed, "Yup, don't worry you'll get used to it Meg" 

"I don't know" she shrugged and bit into her burger smiling. 

Dean focused on his burger rather than Sam. He wanted to enjoy his food, not worry about nutritional facts. When they finished eating they drove back home. He Cas and Meg sang along to what was playing on the radio. And when one of the Taylor swift songs he recognized played he sang along to. Of course he tried hard not to, but the catchy song managed to sneak into his head and soon he was singing along with her. 

He learned something new about Cas too, he really liked Lizzo. He and Meg knew the lyrics to every song of hers that played. They ended the ride to Sam's house with some good old classic rock. 

Jess and Cas went to the kitchen to get started on dinner. The rest of them stayed in the living room talking. Meg suggested they go help make dinner and they walked into Jess's small kitchen. 

Cas and Jess got the chicken ready before baking it. He and Sam mashed potatoes while Meg made some mac and cheese. 

Jess liked to sing while she cooked so it didn't surprise him when she started playing music from her bedroom. She got everyone to sing along while they all made dinner. 

They went into the living room to wait for dinner to be ready. They played a few games and then watched an episode of Longmire. He'd seen the episode before but he didn't mind rewatching it. Sam and Jess sat beside him and Cas on the couch. Meg sat on the armchair beside the couch. He could hear her and Jess whispering. 

He smiled. Then he looked down at Cas, he was tucked under his arm with his head on his shoulder. He kissed his head, Cas looked up at him with a warm smile. 

He couldn't have asked for anything more. Sitting here with his family watching television was one of the best feelings for him. They didnt have to be watching anything he just loved being surrounded by everyone he loved. He loved that they were all close together, squishing each other. He might complain but in reality he could care less. Holding Cas and having his brother and Jess beside them was all he could ask for. 

And he loved that Cas was a part of his family now. Even Meg, who at first he didn't like because of a misunderstanding. When they were playing the board game earlier Meg and Cas were having the best time. They kept laughing and teasing each other. Both of them fit in perfectly with the rest and he couldn't be happier for it. 

Everyone was starving by the time dinner was ready. Maybe it was just him because when was he _not_ hungry? They all sat at the table filling their plates with chicken mac and cheese and mashed potatoes. Especially him. 

Sam washed their dishes when they were done while Jess dried them. Meg helped put away leftovers, he and Cas were left to take out the trash after clearing the table. They watched one more episode of Longmire before leaving. 

Dean and Cas dropped Meg off at her apartment. 

"Hey Meg?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You doing anything tomorrow?" 

"Uh, I've got an interview in the morning but after that nothing. Why?" 

"I'm having a welcome home party for a friend of mine, if you want your invited" 

"Thanks Dean, I'll stop by, it might help to think about something other than if I got the internship or not. And thank you for today too." 

"No problem, see ya tomorrow then" 

"Mmhmm, Bye" she patted Cas on the back of the head before getting of the car "Bye Clerence, you got lucky with this one" She waved goodbye and disappeared into the building. 

Cas took his hand and gave it a squeeze "I really did" 

They drove home in silence, with Cas head on his shoulder and his chin resting on his head. He was more than happy with him and even more in love than he thought possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not posting yesterday, I hadn't finished the chapter and I wasn't feeling well. I'm currently writing chapter 19, but I'm not sure if I will be ready enough to post it, I'm taking some time to rest physically and mentally I'll try my best to post on Thursday. 😊   
> Thank you for understanding and reading 💕


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean host a small party for a friend. All day Cas is in awe over how happy Dean is when everyone he loves surrounds him. And he himself is getting closer to the people who will be in his life very often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 19! It's a cute one, sorry about the super long wait.

The feeling of warmth and comfort, of having Dean sleep beside him with his arm wrapped around his shoulders and his hand on his lower back was something he was definitely getting used too. Curled up beside Dean, with his hand on his chest felt so warm, he was basically a puddle of goo beside him all night and morning. He wished they would have gotten to stay frozen in place like that for a bit longer. 

They were both woken up by the startling noise of knocks on the front door. He was of course the first one to wake up. He wanted to let Dean sleep longer but Dean held on to him tighter as he tried to slip out of his arm. 

"I'll be back" he said and gave him a small kiss on his jaw. Dean still wouldn't ease his grip and wouldn't let him go. He laughed and patted him lightly on the chest. There was another pair of knocks at the door, this time loud enough for Dean to hear them and slightly open his left eye. 

Cas heard a quiet sigh escape his lips with a smile. His eyes were drowsy but he managed to open them. 

"I could get used to this" 

"To what?" 

"You looking down at me" 

Cas blushed. Dean smiled and held his hand up to Cas's face. He ran his fingers upward in his hair, then ruffled it slightly. There was another set of knocks. 

"Who's knocking this early?" 

"I'll go see who it is" 

Dean groaned, "I'll go with you" 

"You don't have to get up if you don't want too" 

"Like I'm going to let you go open the door by yourself" 

Cas smiled. He pulled the sheet off his legs and got out of bed. He waited for Dean to get up and walk towards him. His hair was the biggest mess of bed hair he'd ever seen, he kept rubbing his eyes to keep them open. 

"Guess what?" he asked. 

"What?" "It's not as early as I thought" 

Cas looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It read 10:43. 

"I guess it explains why someone would be knocking on the door" 

"Mmhmm" 

Dean and Cas walked downstairs. I turned out to be two men. They were delivering the table Dean had ordered and a small nightstand. Cas couldn't see the tiny bees engraved on it until Dean told him to open it. He was in the living room busy opening it while Dean helped the two men assemble the seats on the chairs. 

"You like it?" 

Dean walked over to him with a grin on his face, he sat on the couch. 

"Yes. It's beautiful Dean, thank you" 

He smiled, "I uh wanted to get you your own nightstand for your side of the bed" 

Cas's smile grew bigger than Dean's, in all the time he'd been with someone they'd never gotten him something so special. Dean was the first one to get him something simple, not that it was because it had probably been expensive adding the bees. It was meaningful to him as lame as it may seem to others, he loved it. The fact that he was thinking about him enough to think that when he moved into his room he would need his own nightstand, filled him with so much warmth it oozed out his pores. 

He got up from the floor and hugged him, he squeezed him tight because he still couldn't believe he had gotten so lucky to end up with him. Out of everyone in the world he got to be with Dean. He kissed his cheek and kept squeezing. His insecurities would definitely leave him, and it was all going to be thanks to Dean. 

Dean held him and gave him a kiss on the temple, "If I would've known you'd react like this to one nightstand I would have gotten you a hundred more" 

Cas sighed onto Dean's shoulder. 

He took his nightstand up stairs and placed it on the right side of the bed. He remembered about Meg and sent her a good luck text. And he apologized for not sending it earlier, before walking downstairs. 

Dean made some scrambled eggs with bacon for breakfast, and after they had both finished their cups of coffee they cleaned up. 

Dean had to get everything ready for the party and Cas was more than happy to help. He made some guacamole and got out the chips. Dean went outside to dust off his grill. He opened a few of the foldable chairs and two tables. He put them near the outside of the kitchen window.

Cas took out the ground beef from the freezer along with the sausages. He got the buns out. He chopped the tomatoes and onion. Dean came inside and prepared the beef adding seasoning and making them into patties. Cas went outside and finished sweeping. He took the stuff outside and set them on one of the tables. The whole time he was setting everything up he had a huge smile on his face. 

If someone had told him a couple years ago he'd have a great boyfriend, connect with an old friend and make new ones he wouldn't have believed it. He never would've imagined himself getting things ready for a small party, he was usually awkward around other people and wasn't the party type. He could never have believed he'd be part of one. 

Cas went inside to make strawberry lemonade, despite it raining yesterday it was hot and he knew making homemade strawberry lemonade would help with the heat. 

"Are there going to be a lot of people coming over?" 

"Not really, just Sam, Jess, Charlie, Jo, Bobby and Ellen and Meg of course." 

"Okay, cool" 

"I know you're not much of a party person but it's not going to many people only the ones I know" 

"I mean I don't mind getting to know your family more" Dean smiled, he stopped making the patties.

He walked closer to Cas and placed a good, slow, long kiss on his lips. Cas smiled, _man_ was he in love. 

Dean finished making the patties and went outside to start the grill. Cas was about to start squeezing the lemons when the doorbell rang. It was still pretty early so he wondered if maybe it was someone other than the guests. 

Meg was standing on the other side of the door with a huge smile on her face. 

"Maybe I came too early." 

Cas tilted his head and then looked down he was still in his sweats and sleeping shirt. 

"I guess so, but come in" 

Meg walked down the hall into the living room. 

"So how'd it go?" 

"Great! I think I really made an impression, thanks to you. They said they'd call by the end of next week to let us know." 

"I'm sure you'll get the internship. You're a great fit for the job." 

"I hope so, Clarence" She walked into the kitchen, "Where's Dean?" 

"He's outside lighting the grill" 

"Well, do you need any help?" 

"I guess you could squeeze the lemons while I go change" 

"Okay" 

Cas went upstairs and changed into a t-shirt that didn't look too bad and some jeans that weren't too tight and weren't too worn out. He brushed his teeth and hair. His bed hair was a lot harder to tame since he waited too long to brush it. 

When he was done he walked back downstairs to find Meg and Dean talking and laughing. He and Meg finished making the lemonade and went outside with Dean for a while. They helped the fire grow while Dean went inside to change out of his sweats. 

Sam and Jess were the next ones to arrive. Jess had brought over a few games for them to play if they got bored and Sam pleaded with Dean not to watch a cowboy movie after they had eaten. 

"I think I did plenty when I got you your vegan patties" 

"You did?" 

"Yeah, did you think I'd let you watch us eating my famous burgers without getting you your own" 

"Thank you Dean, I uh don't know what to say" he faked tearing up. 

Dean scoffed. 

"Wait I do, don't make us watch cowboy movies" 

"Cas likes them too you know" 

Everyone turned to look at him. 

"Um well I wouldn't mind letting them choose something different" 

"If Cas is fine with it I'm fine with it too" 

Sam mouthed _thanks_ when Dean wasn't looking. Cas flashed him a smile and a small nod. They sat outside enjoying the lemonade Cas had made and talked about their work.

He liked sitting back and relaxing talking about something or nothing with _these_ people. Because these people were becoming his family. For a long time his only family was his brother and Meg. And he was more than happy to expand his family. He had become closer with Sam and Jess and he couldn't wait to make new friends and family. He was very happy like this, he was glad to be with Dean and he was glad he was getting to know more people because of him, he surely wasn't going to do it all on his own. 

Jess's laugh was so contagious anyone around her found themselves laughing, he sure was laughing more than he used to, apart from when he was with Dean. Sam was incredibly smart and he was glad he had someone to share facts and information know one else knew.

And of course he loved Dean. Who made him laugh and got him into his old habits of humming, who made him smile more than he had in a long time. He felt loved and wanted when he was with him and Dean simply made everything better.

Thirty minutes into one, was when everyone had started to arrive. Charlie and Gilda were the next to arrive bringing the liveliness with them. Jo and Ellen arrived shortly after. And after nearly all the air in his lungs left he was greeted by a warm smile. 

"You must be the very famous Castiel" 

"And you must be the equally famous Joana" 

She smiled widely and pulled him into a hug. 

"Jo!" 

They let go and turned to find Dean walking towards them with a huge smile. 

"Dean!" 

The two hugged and laughed. 

"You weren't lying Dean, he's very good looking." Jo wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. 

"Yeah well, he's also mine so back off" 

"Sheesh overprotective much" 

"Around you? I'd better be" 

"Relax dude, I won't steal your boyfriend" 

Cas's heart grew with warmth, hearing other people say it sounded better than he had thought. Dean wrapped his arm over his shoulders and all three of them walked outside. Everyone was enjoying themselves laughing and drinking the lemonade he had made. It was a happy sight. 

Jess led Meg around introducing her to everyone, and she was getting along with everyone pretty well. He and Dean walked over to the grill and flipped the patties that were already on there along with a few sausages. 

"This is nice" Cas said with a smile. Dean looked up and smiled, his face bright and happy. Cas thought his freckles never looked better. Dean leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. 

"It is, and I'm glad you're part of it too" 

Cas bumped into Dean's side making him laugh. Cas was left to man the grill while Dean went inside, when he came back he was followed by Bobby. 

He watched as Dean's face only got brighter and brighter. Dean was lucky to be surrounded by everyone he loved. Cas was happy for him. 

After a while Dean came back to Cas's side to help him with the meat. They both placed each pattie on a bread and began handing them out to everyone. A chorus of compliments followed shortly after everyone had added what they wanted to their burgers. Dean's mouth was full, with a huge smile spread from ear to ear. 

Cas could see why Dean got along so well with everyone, because everyone had a huge appetite just like him. For the rest of the time there was sunlight outside they talked and danced even. It was only because Jess had started blasting music on her phone. 

They had a sing along too. Jo had brought over some beers and they sat outside for a while watching the sunset. The heat from the grill warming everyone around it. 

And of course Dean took Jo and Ellen on a tour of the house. Cas was in the living room sitting on the couch with Charlie while he did. She was telling him all about LARPing. She even suggested he and Dean join her and Gilda. 

Jess had brought out the board game and they were all sitting around watching her beat everyone single one of them. Bobby and Ellen sat in the kitchen talking. It seemed as if they were the parents while the kids played in the living room. 

Gilda had actually fallen asleep. It was a mystery on how she even fell asleep with all the commotion. Jess and Meg had teamed up and they were easily defeating everyone. 

"I think we should watch movie now" Sam said. 

"You're only saying that because you know we'd beat you" Jess teased. 

"No I just think now is a good time" 

"Whatever"

"Hey Cas you want some popcorn?" Dean asked him. 

"Mmhm, I'll help make some" 

Cas and Dean stood at the stove with the popcorn kernels. They watched as the aluminum blew up and the kernels started popping. 

They could hear everyone fighting over where to sit. Bobby and Ellen took two of the chairs and put them in the living room. Leaving Dean and Cas alone in the kitchen. 

Cas could see Dean inching closer and closer from the corner of his eye. He didn't move or say anything he just tried not to laugh. He felt Dean's arm wrap around his waist and rest there. Dean's chin rested on his shoulder and his lips rubbed against his neck. Cas couldn't deny it felt good but he didn't want to make a sound considering there were people in the next room. 

The feeling of Dean's breath on his hair and his soft lips tracing and kissing his ear made his knees wobble. His heart started to race. 

"Dean" 

"Hmm?" Dean hummed on his skin. 

"There are- um- peop-"

"Shhh" He carefully turned him around and held him in place. He kissed his neck slowly. And then slipped his lips on Cas's. Cas smiled and kissed Dean, holding his face and tangling his fingers in his hair. The sweetness of the kiss made insides melt. Dean's plump lips guided his and in sync they kissed. Dean pushed his knee in between Cas's thighs.

He was trying not to but it was useless now trying not to moan. He was trying to not be so loud at least, but Dean made it harder. He deepened the kiss and held onto Cas's hip bone tightly. Cas angled Dean's face and waited as Dean slipped his tongue into his mouth. Dean parted his lips inviting Cas tongue in. The sound of the popping was drowned out by the sound of his beating heart. Dean sucked on his bottom lip with precise pressure and let go with a pop. They were both breathing heavily, and Dean's hair was a cute mess. 

"You guys want _me_ to make the popcorn, cause you'll just let it get burnt" Sam was standing in the kitchen doorway. He had a grin on his smug face. 

"Sure Sammy" Dean smiled and then turned back to face Cas. He held his chin and pulled his face upward to kiss him. 

"Ugh you guys are gross" Sam teased with a smile. He took the two aluminum pans out and placed two more on the stove. 

"You're just mad cause you can't get some" 

"I can actually but I just prefer to not make out infront of my sibling" 

"Whatever" 

Cas smiled, he wrapped his arm around Dean's waist and kissed the bottom of his jaw. 

"Was that less gross?" he asked. 

"Nope, it's like watching old men kiss" 

"Old men my ass" 

Sam laughed.

"What if we take these to the living room already" Cas suggested. 

Dean glared at Sam. Cas quickly poured the popcorn into two bowls, added a bit of salt and they carried it to the living room. The couch was completely taken over Bobby and Ellen were both sitting on chairs. He and Dean pulled two up beside Bobby. 

Sam had chosen a murder mystery movie. When he was all done making the popcorn he came to sit beside Jess. Charlie and Gilda were on one end and he and Jess were on the other. Meg and Jo were both on the armchairs beside the couch. 

Even though he and Dean weren't as comfortable they managed to rest their heads on each other. Half way through the movie he and Dean started guessing who the murderer was. Bobby and Ellen also told them who they thought it was and soon everyone was discussing who the killer was. 

In the end Cas and Jo turned out to be right, it was the man's son. He was angry about his father hiring someone to kill his girlfriend who everyone thought was a gold digger, and was only after their wealth. Before everyone left they opened a bag of marshmallows and roasted them on the grill. 

Cas and Dean walked everyone out to the porch where they said their goodbyes with hugs and pats on the back. 

"Thanks Dean, this was great" 

"Anytime Jo, just glad you're home" 

She walked over to Cas when she let go of Dean. 

"It was nice meeting you Cas, I'm glad you two are together" 

"Thank you and it was nice meeting you two" 

After her hug she walked down to the car where Ellen was waiting for her. Both of them waved as each of their friends pulled out of the driveway. 

"Come on" Dean said with his arm stretched out.

Cas smiled and took his hand. Dean led him to the couch. They sat in silence smiling and staring into each other's eyes like they always did. Cas sighed and scooted closer to Dean.

Cas felt extremely happy. It was a feeling he wasn't used to and something he hadn't felt in a while. But he knew he was going to get used to it again, he knew he was going to feel it more often than he did and he knew he was going to love it. 

Dean really did make him happy and he never wanted it to stop. It hadn't been more than two days since he had that horrible encounter and Dean was already making him feel so much better. He made all the pain slowly ease out from within himself.

Cas leaned closer and kissed his very soft plump lips, slowly and carefully like they were made out of glass and they'd shatter at any moment. He held onto the sides of his face and deepened the kiss with every touch of their lips. 

Dean pressed their lips harder. He slid his hands under Cas's shirt. Dean's cold hands on his skin made chills run along his arms. Both their breathing got louder and their kisses more intense. Dean began pushing Cas down on the couch. 

He kissed him down along his jaw and under his ear. His teeth scratched the surface of his skin, then kissed downward. Kissing his neck and then suckingion his Adam's apple. Cas moaned and tangled his fingers in Dean's hair. Dean worked his way down kissing his collar bones and sucking on them. His knee was between Cas's thighs, pushing into the couch. His hands, that were warmer now, worked their way up touching the bare skin under his shirt. Cas could feel the bulge against his leg. 

Dean was breathing very heavily now and he was close to doing it too. Dean sucked on his neck and then kissed the same spot. He did this so many times Castiel lost count. Dean sucked on his earlobe and pulled on it, Cas arched forward his own bulge growing, but then he felt Dean's hands retreat from under his shirt. He slowly stopped sucking on his skin. 

"Sorry" 

Cas sat up as soon as Dean did. They were quiet, before Cas reached forward and took his hand. He knew why Dean stopped and he loved him even more for why he did. 

"Its okay" 

Dean was putting him first before anything. He stopped before he got carried away. Cas was still coming down from their high, but he managed a smile. In all honesty he wasn't sure if he was ready. Maybe everything would have been okay or maybe he would of backed out like before. But what he did know was that Dean was willing to wait, even if he had an erection and was trying his best not to make it worse. 

Cas's smile grew wider and his eyes began to feel damp. He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and squeezed him tight. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist and held him too. 

"Thank you" 

"Of course Cas" 

"I love you" 

"I love you too" 

Cas closed his eyes. Sitting there, breathing in the smell of Dean in _their_ quiet house was enough for him to feel sleepy even if he was still slightly turned on. He gave Dean a soft kiss on the cheek. 

"Time for bed?" he asked. 

Cas nodded. They walked upstairs and into their bedroom. Brushed their teeth and lay in bed together.

They tangled their legs and held each other closely. He was used to Dean's smell now, he was used to the feeling of their bodies together, his side of the bed and his spot in Dean's arm. He smiled and hugged Dean close. 

"Goodnight Dean" 

"Night Cas" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the delay, I didn't expect to take so long to get myself ready and together. Still feeling a bit sick but I'm way better now! I'll be updating the last chapter on Sunday if everything goes well. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, love you all, and thank you if you're still here with me! 😊💕💕💕


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cute date and dinner what more could Dean and Cas ask for? Cas decides to take his final step with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter is in both of the boys' perspective (I tried to make it as easy to read as possible) hope you enjoy it as much as I did. There was a mistake last, last week it was mesnt to say next Sunday but then I got swamped with home work. I hope you guys can forgive me with this long chapter! :D THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME IN THIS LONG JOURNEY!! 💕 LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Another week spent with Cas and Dean was sure he'd never felt anything close to the way he felt when he was with him. He was completely lost in him, especially those blue eyes of his. 

He thought about him constantly, more than was healthy. He'd get scolded for it a lot at work. He nearly cut one of his fingers off while cutting wire. It wasn't really his fault that his boyfriend was so cute and sweet he was always thinking of him. He was so distracted and didn't pay attention to whatever he was doing. 

Of course Cas was exactly the same. He would be so eager for the day to end just so he could see Dean. Completely and totally in love. Anael was probably getting tired of hearing him talk about Dean. But what else could he talk about other than the best boyfriend he could have ever asked for. He daydreamed a lot and his students called him out for it. It was hard to focus because any tiny remark that even resembled something Dean would say made him fall down a hole. 

The whole week Cas had been busy, and it didn't help to be thinking about Dean. He couldn't get anything done. He would be holed up in his old room translating and when Dean came home the first thing he'd do was run into the room and make out with him. They'd spend what felt like hours kissing he wasn't complaining he just wanted to finish. Dean would give him the cutest puppy eyes, so naturally he'd be allowed to stay and "help". 

Dean had no idea what Cas was doing but helping him out helped him learn. And slowly but surely he learned a thing or two about translations. The only reason he even wanted to do it was to spend more time with Cas and he just wanted to make out the whole time. 

It was cute when Cas got all bossy and said he was seriously about no more kissing only to be doing it again 5 minutes later. And after everyday of sitting and writing and reading they'd go downstairs and make dinner together. Making Cas laugh and help him destress was one of the good things that came with being his boyfriend. 

Cas loved that he had someone help him relax. Cooking with Dean was a highlight of his day. He was helping Dean become less rusty around the kitchen. And they finally had a dinner table they could try out. They cleaned up and after dinner they'd watch an episode of their favorite TV show, all curled up on the couch. They had gotten a bunch of junk food so they could eat while they watched. 

Dean had begun leaving a blanket downstairs for them to use whenever they watched TV. It had also been his idea to get movie snacks. He was especially happy that Cas liked almost everything that he wanted to buy. It was actually fun going grocery shopping with him. 

Dean didn't really like to do chores but doing this with him was something he was looking forward to doing. He also liked being able to choose the snacks he could take for lunch for work. 

That was _also_ something Dean liked. Cas began making them both lunches in the mornings for work. Tiny things like Cas knowing one sandwich wouldn't fill him up made him love him even more. Cas made him two sandwiches, sent him a snack and something to drink like a can of soda. And apart from that he sent him cute little doodles or notes that always made him smile even when he was frustrated. 

Cas liked making Dean's lunch, nothing made him happier. He loved drawing something small like a goofy looking fish or frog, that said cute little things. He knew Dean could see all the effort he put into making it for him, he always thanked him with a kiss before and after he saw the notes. 

They had also gone to the laundromat on Friday, something Dean really didn't like doing. He always found it boring and half of the time wouldn't even fold his clothes. He'd just stuff them into his bag and leave with it however it was. 

But now he could go with Cas who would make it even less boring, and it helped that Cas asked him to go to a different one than where he always went to. This one seemed newer and less depressing than the other. There were flat screen TVs everywhere and vending machines too. 

He thought nothing could make it better until he saw the massage chairs, they were beautiful, covered in cool black leather. 

Cas wanted to get most of their chores done so they could have the weekend free which is why he wanted to go to the laundromat in the first place. At first Dean kept whining but after a while he began to see it wasn't that bad. He was mostly okay because of the vending machines. There were also massage chairs that he kept feeding coin after coin while they waited for the close to dry. He also liked the big flat screen TV that was playing a movie marathon. Cas didn't complain because he got a lot of good pictures of him acting like a child. 

Since Cas had been busy all week, they didn't really have time to go out. Dean thought the weekend was a perfect way to spend all day together, side by side, doing nothing but kissing and cuddling. 

It was Saturday and since they had done everything they needed to do, they had all day to do whatever they wanted. They started by getting out of bed at 11 and going out to eat lunch which they called breakfast. Dean drove to a restaurant that served breakfast all day so he had no problem getting his bacon and pancakes. 

"I think your pancakes taste better" Cas told him. 

"Glad you think so, otherwise you'd have to get your pancakes somewhere else" 

Cas laughed. They sat side by side in one of the booths. They each ordered a large order of food along with two chocolate milkshakes. Even if sharing one milkshake was romantic Cas knew Dean would finish it all by himself so he ordered his own. 

"What are we going to do after?" 

"I have no idea. But I'm hoping it's something fun" 

"Nothing we do together will ever be not fun" 

Dean smiled, "Not even crossword puzzles?" 

"I like crossword puzzles" 

"How about, being stuck in a car?" 

"There are plenty of things we can do" 

Dean faced Cas and raised an eyebrow. 

Cas smiled, "Apart from whatever you're thinking too" 

"I'm not thinking anything, what were you thinking about?" 

Cas sighed and held back a laugh, Dean had a stupidly hot grin on his face. His gaze was heavy, Cas gave him a quick peck on the lips and then turned to cut his pancake. 

"Point is, I would never get bored doing anything with you" 

"I am a fun guy." 

"We could go for a drive? And stop at some random place that's on the way" 

"That's actually not a bad idea. I'm glad I got me a smart boyfriend." 

"You sure are." 

Cas had strawberry jam on the side of mouth. Dean carefully wiped it of with his thumb and licked it off clean. Cas gave him a sideway smile and his cheeks turned pink. A sense of pride over came Dean, he was glad he still managed to make Cas blush. 

They ate the rest of their food. Dean always finished eating fast but now whenever he ate with Cas he took his time. He liked every minute he got to spend with him and he wanted to make the most out of it. He also liked to mess around with him. He stole some of his food and poked him lightly, anything to make him laugh or pout. 

Cas didn't 'really' get mad at Dean, he only acted. He loved that whenever he pretended to be mad Dean would instantly try to make him smile. He kissed him repeatedly on the cheek or tried to kiss his lips. Or he would make some adorable face to get away with anything. 

When they were done eating and after a bit of arguing over who would pay, they drove around town. 

At first nothing really sparked interest. Neither of them could see anything they wanted to do. They drove around for about half an hour. 

Cas was right even if they were stuck in the car or just driving around it wasn't boring at all. Having him around just made everything better. Cas sat close to him and pointed out anything he saw. Finally something caught Dean's eye. 

They were in the farther part of town, where buildings were hundreds of feet apart from each other. There was a big neon sign that was spinning around. 

"You ever been bowling?" 

"Once. Why?" 

"Because I might have found us something to do" 

Cas had a huge smile on his face as soon as he saw what Dean was looking at. 

The last time he had ever been bowling was when he, Gabe and Meg went on a trip a few years back to Rhode Island. He had actually turned out to be quite good despite never really playing before. 

The parking lot wasn't too full which meant not many people were inside. And the building looked big so there was probably plenty of space. 

Dean parked Baby a few spots away from the doors. He and Cas walked through the automatic glass doors and were greeted by the smell of old shoes, rubber and hot dogs. They waited behind a group of people to pay. 

To the right was the bowling area. There were about 25 bowling lanes. Each with four seats at one end of the lane. 

To the left there was an arcade. Rows of foosball tables lined the walkways. Pool tables decorated the back and many different pinball and arcade machines were spread throughout. 

Vending machines filled with candy and junk food enough to give anyone a heart attack lined the entrance wall. There was even a small food hut on the left side. 

"This is awesome!" Dean said. 

His face was lit up with awe. Cas nodded in agreement. The sounds of the machines and the laughter and cheers coming from everyone inside pulled his attention in every direction. 

It was finally their turn in line. Because of the special they only had to pay 15 dollars. 

They walked over to an empty lane after putting on their bowling shoes. Cas kept laughing because Dean's bowling shoes were pink. They didn't have any other pair in Dean's size so the pink ones were the only left. 

"I think they bring out your calves" 

"Hmm" 

Cas laughed and gave him a kiss in the cheek, he interlaced their fingers and pulled him up to their lane. He wrote their names on the small keypad. 

"You first" Dean said. 

Cas took one of the bowling balls and stepped back. He used his right foot which was infront to give himself a boost. He bent forward slightly and released the grip on the ball. It rolled down right in the middle and knocked all the pins down. 

"Oh my god! Did you see that!" 

Dean's jaw was on the floor, but he managed to quickly replace his shock and amazement with a grin. 

"That's just beginners luck" 

Cas grinned smugly, "If you say so" 

Dean scoff laughed, he was impressed. Was Cas just lying about only bowling once. He was never going to admit it but maybe it hadn't been beginners luck, Cas was probably just good at the game. 

Dean stepped up to the start of the lane. He pressed his right foot which was in front hard against the shiny wood floor. He swung his arm and let the ball glide forward. He watched as it knocked down most of the pins. 'Damn it' two pins were left standing on the left side. 

Cas had a cocky grin on his face with a smile that seemed to be growing. Dean walked over to the other bowling balls, he picked up a purple one and again used the force of his front foot to swing the ball forward crashing into the remaining pins. 

"Hell yeah!" He said with a smirk. 

"Still took you two shots" 

Dean shrugged, "Whatever" 

Cas walked past him and pecked him on the cheek, "Good job" 

He smiled warmly at him as he walked to the balls and picked up a green one. He used the same strategy as before picking up a little speed using the wait from his back leg for a boost and swinging his arm as hard as he could. He spun on the balls of his feet facing Dean who was behind him. The sound of the ball crashing into the pins and knocking them all down was followed shortly after a small bow from Cas. 

"Try and beat that" 

Dean scoffed, but he didn't. Even after the other ten rounds they played Cas beat him every single time. He was getting pretty tired of losing. Cas noticed around the 7th round and he eased up on the boasting. By the end of the 10th round he could tell Dean was pretty much in a gloomy mood. 

"You want to check out the arcade now?" 

"Yes!" 

That seemed to cheer him right up. 

Cas smiled and held Dean's hand, he followed him to the noisier side of the bowling arcade. They walked to the small food hut and ordered a hot dog each. They weren't sure how long they'd been there but both of them had worked up an appetite. They ate their hotdogs and after Dean had gotten enough snacks from the vending machines they wandered through the rows of arcade and pinball machines. 

They stopped at one of the foosball tables. Cas wasn't any good at it. He always lost his grip on the handles or wasn't fast enough to grab the other handles and block a shot from the other player. Dean was bitting into one of his chocolate candy bars, he had excitement all over his face. 

"You wanna play?" 

Cas was afraid he'd ask him, but after a lucky streak he was ready to let Dean have a chance at winning him as many times as he wanted. Cas nodded which got Dean even more excited, he finished his chocolate bar in 3 seconds flat. He wiped his chocolate stained fingers on his shirt. Cas laughed, it was adorable. 

Dean stared by passing the ball to his players back and forth, trying to trick Cas. Everytime he thought he knew where Dean would score he'd pass the ball back and make a score through a different side. This went on for what seemed like hours, Cas didn't mind, quite frankly he enjoyed watching Dean laugh and smile so wide he was sure his cheeks ached. 

And they did. 

Dean was having the time of his life with Cas, even if it was because he found something Cas wasn't very good at, and he totally was. After giving Cas a five minute break to feel his arms again he saw a couple of kids leave the air hockey table. He'd been wanting to play that with Cas for a while but the kids never seemed to leave. 

"Hey, you wanna play over there?" 

Cas smiled widely "Yes" 

Cas was so glad they'd finally play a game he was fairly good at. They walked to either side of the table, Dean fed the slit two quarters and a puck shot out of the side of the table into the middle. 

"First to ten?" 

Cas nodded. 

Dean was willing to let Cas win if it seemed like he was losing. Of course it never got to that, each of them were tie with 8 shots each and it didn't seem to be ending anytime soon. At first there was a crowd gathering around watching them play. After a while he noticed it shrink, he figured they had gotten tired of waiting for one of them to win. 

He didn't really care if anyone was watching them he only cared about Cas. Cas was laughing so much his face was red. They blocked each others shots so many times Dean's wrist bone was beginning to ache with all the force they were hitting the puck with. 

"Tie?" Cas asked with a smile. 

"Only for a kiss" Dean said with a grin. 

Cas shook his head with a smile. He walked over to him and held the sides of his face and kissed him. 

Dean took him by the waist and rested his hand on it. Gripping onto his shirt and skin, pulling him closer. They opened their eyes at the same time. Both of them mesmerised with each other's eyes. Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair and smiled. 

Dean wrapped his arm around his waist and together they walked down the rows of game machines. 

They played on a few pinball machines, Dean liked the batman one especially. Cas really liked the Galaga one. He played it a couple times, warming up to the arcade game. 

The sun was setting by the time they left the bowling arcade. 

They had the windows rolled down, letting the sweet cool afternoon breeze blow through they're hair. Dean held Cas's hand as he drove them back into their part town. 

Cas was expecting to go home but Dean had another idea. He drove them to a restaurant. It was big and white. The outside was very inviting, big glass windows wrapped around the building and candles lit the inside. They walked inside and sat at the entrance waiting for a hostess to attend them. 

She walked them over to the outside of the building, in the center of the building there was an outside eating area. Fairly lights hung above them and tall pointy bushes decorated all around. They sat at a two seater table. 

"This is pretty fancy" Cas said. 

He was rubbing the fabric of the table cloth between two of his fingers. 

"Wow, that's silky" Dean said after feeling the fabric. 

" _Very_ fancy" 

"I only wanted the best for my beautiful boyfriend" 

"You didn't have too, I had fun at the bowling alley, and I was going to make you a giant feast at home as a thank you" 

Dean smiled, "There's no need _Sunshine_. But you can still make it if you want, I'm _always_ up for eating" 

"I'll make you a pie too" 

"How did I get lucky enough to end up with you?" 

"I've got no idea" 

Cas was blushing pretty hard now. He loved it when Dean said things like that. It would leave him speechless, he himself couldn't believe Dean was even real. 

They ordered two double cheeseburgers along with a couple beers. They weren't too far from home but Cas didn't want Dean to drink too much so they decided to only order one. And if they wanted more after they could always drink some from the ones Dean had in the fridge. Cas also ordered a large fries.

It was dark and the lights lit the outside beautifully. If he concentrated hard enough he could see the stars above them. Dean kept rubbing his leg on the inside of Cas's. He was trying his best not to pay him any attention. They were surrounded by other people. But it only made Dean do it even more. 

Luckily their food arrived and Dean was too busy observing the giant burgers in front of them. The French fries were some of the thickest he'd ever seen. Dean chuckled when he saw the beer it was his favorite brand. 

They talked and ate. Food and Cas were the best things to be around with. Dean loved that _he_ loved burgers too. It was way easier to pick a place to go eat that way, he didn't have to worry about him being so picky and apart from that Dean didn't even have to go around getting him anything he couldn't afford like he used to. 

Of course that only made Dean want to spoil him. Cas didn't ask for anything, sure he'd say he wanted stuff but he never once asked Dean to get it for him. Whenever he got the chance to do something nice for Cas he was going to make it huge. 

Cas looked like the cutest thing in the world. He looked like a chipmunk with his cheeks full of fries. He was talking about an exam he had planned for his students. Dean didn't hear a word he said, he was too busy admiring him. He had a ketchup stain on the side of his mouth. Dean knew he was probably staring for too long because Cas went quiet and his cheeks got rosy. 

Dean grinned, "Sorry, you're just too cute" 

Cas cleared his throat and took a long sip of his beer. 

And again Dean was mesmerized by the glimpse of his tan neck skin. He had about a fourth of his beer left and he was starting to feel tipsy. 

He started craving the feeling of Cas's skin on his lips. He took the last bite of his burger and picked up a fry. He needed to calm down or he was going to get a boner out in public. He ate some fries while he waited for Cas to finish his burger. 

He paid for dinner before Cas could argue with him over paying for his own food if it was too expensive. After finishing their beer and fries they walked to the parking lot to find Baby. He drove slowly with Cas acting like an overprotective parent the whole time. It was cute and it was the main reason he kept taking his eyes off the road. 

When they got home he slumped onto the couch. His arms were tired after all the playing they had done. He was feeling sleepy but it didn't last because Cas kept looking at him longingly. 

He wrapped his arm around his shoulder, Cas rested his head against him. Without saying anything he grabbed the remote and played an episode of the latest show they were watching. 

He remembered Cas drinking his beer the first time they'd met. The way the beer trickled down his chin. He could see his lips clear as day hugging the mouth of the bottle. And he remembered the feelings he got when he saw it happen. He looked down at Cas and saw he was looking at him too. 

He placed a soft kiss on his lips. Cas reached up and held his face adding pressure to their kiss. Dean deepened the kiss, kiss after kiss. Cas let him guide him. His blood began ringing in his ears. And his heart began to race. 

Cas knew he wasn't drunk, he was just feeling so relaxed, after all it was just one beer and he could handle his liquor pretty well. He knew Dean wasn't either. So it was okay to get a little carried away.

He felt Dean's hands run down his body. It made chills run down his back and his breathing to deepen. 

Dean slid his hand under Cas's shirt, he longed to feel the touch of his bare skin in his hands. He kissed the sides of his jaw and kissed his neck. He smelled so sweet and good his mouth watered. He bit down on his skin and then sucked it over easing the pain with one cool lick of his tongue. 

He sucked on the spot underneath his earlobe, the one that made Cas go crazy. 

As soon as Dean let go of the skin he had sucked on, Cas turned to a puddle of goo. He loved when Dean sucked on his sweet spot. He gripped onto his hair as Dean did it again harder this time. 

" _Dean"_

Dean froze, how could he let himself get so carried away again. He didn't want Cas to hate him for doing it a second time. 

"I'm so sorry Cas, I-" 

"Don't be. I uh- I want too" 

Dean was stunned, he looked up to meet Cas's eyes. If he looked right into them he would be able tell if he really meant it. And he did, he knew Cas's eyes would neve lie to him. 

He kissed him slowly. All the longing he had felt and the happiness he was feeling was poured out into this long kiss. 

Cas knew what he was doing. The past week Dean had shown him that he wouldn't hurt him. He poured his soul into this kiss, it was everything he was feeling in that very moment. He wanted to cry, not of sadness but of happiness he was finally happy. Happier than he'd ever been and he was finally going to give Dean the one thing he'd been afraid to give. 

Dean slowly went back to kissing Cas's neck. He nipped and licked every inch of the skin on his neck. Cas only held on tighter and tighter to his shoulders. He sucked on his collarbone. Sucking hard on the bone before letting go with a pop. 

" _Oh Dean_ " 

Everytime Dean made Cas say his name like that it only made him crazier for him. He gripped onto his sides tighter leaving white trails of his fingers on his tan skin. He pressed Cas down onto the couch and slipped his knee in between his thighs. 

Cas's bulge was growing rapidly. Everytime Dean pressed down his leg would rub against him making him groan and gripp his hair tighter. They were still fully clothed and they were only making out but already Cas was deep in the thrones of passion. 

Everywhere Dean touched he'd leave a trail of fire on his skin making his knees weak and his heart pound in his ears. He felt so hot he wanted to rip his shirt fight off. He wanted to touch Dean's bare skin too, but he was just too afraid to ask. And while Dean kept kissing him and keeping him in his trance all he managed to say was 

"Dean, _please_ " 

Dean didn't want to have sex with Cas on the couch, it would be way to uncomfortable and it was their first time together and he wanted to make him feel good. 

He knew exactly what Cas wanted when he heard him plead his name and then looked into his eyes, _the damn clothes were getting in the way._

He pulled Cas legs around his waist and picked him up. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and they kissed as they made their way up the stairs and into the bedroom. 

Once they made it to the bed they began taking off their clothes. Dean pulled Cas's shirt off after pulling his own off and pushing him down. He kissed him frantically as if any second he'd disappear. Cas held onto Dean's neck slamming their lips together while Dean undid his button and pulled them off. 

Cas undid his button and zipper and watched as Dean got completely out of his jeans. They were both only in boxers now and as Dean took off his shirtd, Cas finally caught an eye full of Dean. He could finally see his pecs and his biceps completely without a piece of fabric anywhere. His shoulders were splattered with freckles. Dean was 'hot' and it only made his erection worse. Dean pressed down and kissed him again. 

Dean kissed and kissed till his lips ache. Cas's wandering hands touch every part of his back and then every part of his chest. And God was Cas beautiful. His eyes were full of lust and his cheeks were pink, his hair was a mess and his neck was filled with marks, all of which Dean had made. 

Dean started working his way down his chest. He kissed and sucked on any part he wanted. He stopped at his right nipple, and kissed all around it. He took it in his mouth and sucked on it. Cas moaned and arched his back a little. He held onto him tighter. It had been a long time since Cas had been touched like this and even when he did it didn't ever feel this good. Whatever Dean was doing was a hundred times better. Cas was finally able to touch Dean's bare skin and grip onto it as hard as he could and watch as the trails of his fingers faded into his skin. 

Cas bit on his lip to keep himself from moaning. They weren't even having sex yet and he was already lost in pleasure. Dean flicked his nipple with his tongue and then bit on it and pulled it. He repeated it over and over and each time added more pressure sending chills up and down Cas's back. He did it again and another pulse of pleasure flowed through him. 

"I _want_ to hear you Cas. _Don't_ hold it in" 

Dean whispered in his ear before nipping his earlobe and earning a small moan. Dean smiled as he kissed his way down to his stomach. Cas watched as Dean left a trail of wet kisses from his chest to his stomach. 

He sucked on his hipbone. He felt his dick twitch as Dean did it again. He knew he was probably going to jizz way before Dean was even inside him. That seemed to make his dick hurt, it was swelling up inside his boxers. 

Dean bit on his hipbone and sucked on it. Cas could already feel the pre-cum trickling out. 

Dean held the sides of his boxers and pulled them down. 

"God Cas, you're this far along already" 

He kissed the sides of his thighs each kiss felt like fire. He kissed closer and closer to his dick. Cas could feel his legs begin to shake, he was trying to keep it in for as long as he could. Dean could tell just how bad Cas needed him but it didn't stop him from teasing him. 

Cas looked so hot with his hair all messed up and the look in his eyes while he bit down on his lip to keep himself from moaning. 

Dean was on his knees, he took Cas's hard dick in his hands tentatively. Cas whimpered. Dean was pretty hard himself, he wanted for so long to please Cas like this. He had wanted to show him how good it would feel to be with him for so long. 

He wrapped his fingers around his dick and began stroking up and down. He got up and continued stroking. Cas immediately held onto his neck. Dean kissed his jaw. 

Cas longed for the friction and he couldn't believe how good it felt once he had it. Dean's hands were firm and soft, despite working with cars everyday. His fingers long and thick wrapped around him tightly making him shiver. 

Cas slowly thrust into his hand, he gripped Dean's hair and exhaled on his neck. 

The hot air on his hot skin made his hairs stand on edge. Dean groaned and he felt Cas move underneath him, watching Cas move the way he was holding onto him like he was the only thing keeping him steady meant everything to him. And it only made him harder. His cock pressed onto Cas as he moved along with him moaning into each others skin. 

Dean kissed him one last time before going back down on his knees, he stopped stroking Cas and just barely licked him. Cas gasped, _g_ _od_ did it feel good. He lifted his head and watched Dean's cool tongue as it licked his dick over and over. Every lick sending sparks to all of his body. Dean licked from the base to the tip leaving a wet trail behind. He opened his mouth and slowly swallowed Cas. 

" _Dean_ " 

Cas watched in adoration, Dean was careful and slow and with each pull of his mouth, Cas felt like he was falling apart. He caressed Dean's hair. Dean looked up at him with nothing but lust in his hungry eyes. Cas released his first wave of pre cum and Dean swallowed it like it was nothing. 

Dean hummed after the first taste of Cas and he hungered for more. He sped up each time making sure to look Cas dead in the eyes, because nothing made him harder than the look in Cas's face as he felt what real love meant. 

He pushed Cas in deeper and flicked him with his tongue making him flinch and shiver. He went faster and faster only stopping every so often to hear Cas moan his name and plead with him to continue. He lightly scratched him with his teeth on the last few times he sucked him off before Cas arched his back and plummeted on the bed sighing so loud Dean was sure the neighbors heard him. 

It was followed shortly after Cas's first heavy load of cum, pulse after pulse making Cas's legs shake as he felt Dean suck him till he was dry. 

Cas was sweaty and in so much bliss it was hard thinking he had forgotten how good it felt to have sex with someone you love. 

Dean got up and tilted Cas's head and kissed him, Cas ran his hands up from Dean's lower back to his shoulder and into his hair making their kiss more profound. 

"How was that for a first time?" Dean kissed him. 

"It was better than I thought" Cas said with a smile, usually he'd be stunned and stuttering, but thanks to the beer he had drunken earlier he was feeling relaxed. It still didn't stop him from blushing at Dean's remark. 

"Good, because I've got more." 

Now this left him stunned. 

Dean saw the look on Cas's face so he quickly added, "If you want" 

Cas was quiet for a second. He pulled Dean down and at the last minute before their lips touched he tilted Dean's face and whispered in his ear. 

"Of course I do" 

Dean grinned that devilish grin and kissed him hard. After leaving Cas breathless and his lips aching he walked over to his closet and came out with a couple things in his hands. 

He stood at the foot of the bed gazing down at Cas. And his face seemed to get red. He was standing there for a long while. Cas could feel a smile growing on his face. 

"Quit staring would you?" 

"Why? Can't I stare and admire the fine body my beautiful boyfriend has?" 

Cas's face was burning. 

After one more once over with his eyes and licking his lips Dean took his lips in Cas's and slowly started to part his legs. 

Cas's heart was starting to pound against his chest again, he wasn't afraid at all. This was an old feeling the one of excitement. His breathing got shallower and his hands were trembling. He touched all over Dean's body. His biceps and pecs and his forming abs each time making it harder to breath. 

He was hard again in no time. 

It didn't help that Dean had opened his legs wide and everytime he kissed him hard their dicks would rub. He could feel how hard Dean was and how much he wanted to please himself. 

He could hear Dean moaning against his lips every time they rubbed off of each other. 

It was driving him insane, but Dean liked that he made himself wait because when he finally did take his boxers off and their skin pressed together he knew he'd probably die. 

The more friction there was between them the more he wanted to take them off and when he couldn't anymore he slid them off. He almost had a full on orgasm right then and there. Cas's dick against his was more than heavenly, it was the friction between both of their bare skin that sent him. 

Cas was holding onto him and everytime they rubbed he gasped and moaned making Dean groan and bite down on his own lips. 

Cas was on the verge of dying, he had been wanting that tiny piece of fabric keeping them apart gone. He kissed the side of Dean's neck and nipped and played with his earlobe. He knew it was Dean's sweet spot and he wanted to do more to please Dean after having pleased him. 

Cas was good at making Dean hard he didn't even have to do anything but when Cas did, everything moved to a whole other level. It only made Dean want him more, he wanted to be inside him and feel him. He hungered for _it,_ the feeling of his really hard cock deep inside him. 

Cas didn't stop kissing Dean's neck until Dean started sucking in his. He was reviving the burning feeling of the ones he'd done before making him moan like crazy. 

"Are you ready?" 

"God, Yes" 

That was more than enough to get Dean started on putting the condom on. He kissed Cas while he did and after having it on he opened the lube and started rubbing it all over his fingers. 

He held Cas waist with one hand and kissed his chest and stomach. He stopped and looked up at his pearly blue eyes. 

"If you ever want to stop tell me and I will" 

Cas nodded, it was so sweet he would have cried if he wasn't so turned on. He could hear his blood rush ringing in his ears and his heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest any second. 

Dean's soft fingers rubbed his hole slowly. He kissed his Cas's hips and slowly slipped his fingers inside. Cas held back a moan it had been so long since he had that type of connection. He gripped the bed sheets as Dean added pressure to the pushes of his fingers. He kissed his way down to his dick and kissed him there too. 

Dean's brain was pounding, Cas felt so good and he couldn't wait to feel him better. He kissed Cas's hard dick and looked up at his eyes which were dark now full of lust. He took a third finger and pushed in deep, Cas arched his back in response. 

Dean got up slowly still with his fingers inside Cas. He kissed him as he slowly pulled out each of his fingers. Then he held the insides of Cas's thighs and lifted his legs to his waist. He didn't know what Cas was thinking but he didn't want him to be afraid. He took the tip of his cock and slowly pushed in. Cas gasped and kept his mouth open as he filled him perfectly. Dean reached for each or Cas's hands and interlaced their fingers. 

Cas didn't think Dean could be any sweeter, he managed a smile and squeezed his hand. He closed his eyes and felt Dean press their foreheads together before beginning to push inside him. Dean kissed along his neck and pulled out before pushing back in with some force. 

Each pound made Cas shake, and even though he was holding onto Dean's waist his legs wouldn't stop either. They held on tighter, and moved together to satisfy each other. Dean kissed Cas. He sucked on his lips and kept him in place as he slammed into him again. 

" _Fuck Cas_ , you feel so damn good" 

Dean was breathing heavily. His back moved up and down pressing down on Cas. The warmth and friction of his cock in Cas was perfect, like to pieces made for each other. 

Dean's weight on Cas was just right. Each time Dean came down his dick would rub against him. He moaned as Dean sped up. Dean went faster and faster filling him up perfectly and hitting his sweet spot everytime. His dick was swelled up with cum, with pre cum trickling out onto Dean's stomach and his. 

Dean could feel the warm ooze from Cas and he could feel his own already in the condom. He peppered Cas jaw with kisses and soft sucks. He hit Cas's prostate over and over making Cas arch higher. He was breathing loudly and his cheeks were red. Cas squeeze Dean's hand. 

"Fuck Cas" 

Dean was so lost in pleasure his senses were numb. His hard cock oozed pre-cum with every pound. Cas moaned his name over and over filling him up with pride and lust. He kissed him harder as he pushed deeper. 

"God," he moved to the side of his face and whispered "I love you Cas. Do you love me?" 

"Dean- I- I love you too, so much" 

Beads of sweat covered Dean's forehead, they kissed so hard their lips turned purple. He hit Cas's prostate harder and after a long arche Cas came. 

Cas covered his stomach and Dean's in cum. His grip loosened and his hands were red with all the squeezing they had done. Dean moaned happily and kissed him. He took him by the waist and kept pushing into him. 

Dean watched as Cas fell apart underneath him. A second wave of cum erupted from his dick spraying all over him. Dean groaned one last time before cumming too. Cas's legs trembled and he had the most dashing smile ever. He reached up and cupped his face kissing him as another pulse of cum filled the condom. 

Cas felt Dean come to a stop and relax above him. He tangled his fingers in Dean's hair and deepened their kiss. Ecstasy filled the air, leaving both of them in bliss. Dean pulled out making Cas whimper one last time. He took of the condom tied it and threw it in the small trash can by the door. 

Cas was sure he'd get a nosebleed. This was the first time he was getting a good look at Dean completely naked. Everything about him made Cas's mouth water and his dick twitch. He smiled widely with a faint glow in his cheeks. He was tired and happy. Dean wiped his stomach with a piece of cloth then wiped Cas's. He climbed into bed beside him and kissed him till both their lips were red. Dean was so tired he could fall asleep right here, in Cas's arms with his lips on his forehead, but he wanted to make sure he was okay. 

"Hey, Cas?" 

"Hmm?" 

"You okay?" 

Cas sighed and said, "I'm the best I've ever been" 

Dean smiled and kissed his temple. 

Cas was content. He was happy with Dean and he was glad he took the final step. He wasn't sure how he'd feel after, but now he does and its the best feeling in the world. 

They went under the covers and began dozing off. Cas kept hugging Dean as tightly as he could, with his head resting on his chest. Dean held Cas close and breathed in the sweet smell of his hair. 

Cas closed his eyes and fell asleep to Dean's slow warm breathing. 

****

His eyes were drowsy as soon as he opened them. 

At first he got scared, he remembered falling asleep in Dean's arms but now that he was awake he wasn't there. And it was weird to not find him with his arms around him. He started to think all sorts of things he didn't want too. But then he heard Dean walk back into the room and his heart slowed down. 

"Morning sunshine" Dean was carrying a tray with coffee and pancakes. He had a wide smile on his face. 

"Morning, breakfast in bed?" 

"Yeah I figured it might hurt to get up and walk downstairs" 

Cas felt like his heart was soaring. 

_Could you be any better?_

He'd never gotten breakfast in bed, and never in his life was it made by someone as sweet as Dean. Cas sat up and _man_ did it hurt, but he didn't show it. Dean put the tray on the nightstand and sat on the bed. He leaned forward and pecked Cas on the lips. Cas was extremely hot with morning sex hair. He watched Cas eat his pancakes and coffee. Truth was he was starving, after an eventful night he tended to get hungry. 

When he got up to make Cas breakfast it was painful to leave his side. He looked so peaceful and beautiful with the morning light shining on his face. He figured the look on Cas's face when he brought him food would make up for it and it did. Cas shared his food with Dean and after he was done they both curled up on the bed for a while longer before getting out of bed. 

They showered together getting rid of the sticky feeling from last night. And may have given each other a handjob. 

In Dean's head it was Cas's fault for looking as hot as he did in the shower. They washed each other's hair and bodies carefully. After their shower Dean gave Cas another surprise he told him the small room in the basement was big enough for an office and whenever he wanted they could go get furniture to make it his own. 

Cas looked so cute muttering to himself about everything he wanted to put in there. He was super excited. Dean's heart melted. For the rest of the day they lounged around in the yard and made dinner together. Cas made Dean the pie he promised and they spend the rest of the day outside making s'mores. 

The day couldn't have been better. All they wanted to do was spend time with each other. Both their broken hearts were healed and they both knew neither of them would do anything to hurt the other, all they would do was give each other the love they had been craving for a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant say it enough THANK YOU !!! for reading this fic of mine, I promise next time I'll finish writing first before posting. Writing this story made very happy and I'm glad I was able to share it, if you've read this far I love you! <3 <3 thank you again :D I hope to start writing again soon!  
> -K

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter!!! I'm not sure when I'll be posting seeing as how school is getting harder, I'll try to post as often as possible, hope you guys liked the start.


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